


Chains Unbroken

by bookwormally



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Multi, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, but Ive got a little over 2 months to write my self indulgence, will be totally jossed of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2019-08-25 06:31:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 72,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16656010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookwormally/pseuds/bookwormally
Summary: After everything, Ventus looks for Vanitas. It has been a war of light versus dark and he's ready to go back to shades of grey.Post-Xehanort defeat, Ventus drags Vanitas in among the heroes and gives him the care he needs to be more than what he was shaped to be.Begun before KH3 release/before Scalla ad Caelum reveal





	1. Chapter 1

It’s over.

The chaos of the fight was expected, but as they pick up the pieces and knit each other back together with tired healing spells, Ventus keeps looking. There’s plenty to look at with people collapsed under hastily erected shelters and cushions summoned with magic. The keyblade graveyard is a mess in the distance, none of them wanting to relax while surrounded by the dead, both the old and the recent.

Half the people used as vessels are unconscious; Ienzo says they’ll need serious time to recover. The rest are either stubborn, lost for good, or missing. Terra seems to be present through almost unbelievable force of will and a need to keep holding Aqua’s hand. Ventus sat with them a while, but the itch to know was too great.

He makes his excuses, recovered mana, helping, and gets up to look. They could use the privacy anyway.

Everyone is huddled in their groups, too tired to talk or feel anymore. Ventus can see Donald and Goofy standing guard over a pile of limbs that must be Sora, Riku, and Kairi. Lea and Isa, another stubborn bastard, are talking stiltedly over Roxas and Xion, asleep and holding each other. Mickey and Yen Sid are conferring over an old book with a quill that seems to be magically directed. They both look tired.

Ventus is glad for them all, glad they’re okay, that they’ll get another chance.

He does a circle of the rest, the vessels all unconscious, nodding to Lea and Isa who nod back, but just like he thought, Vanitas is missing. He can’t ask Terra and Aqua, they don’t know Vanitas as anything but _the dark_. Roxas and Xion only just joined them as their physical selves, they wouldn’t know. So that leaves Sora.

Loathe to wake him and his friends though he is, Ventus still walks over. He ignores Donald’s glare and Goofy’s disappointed sigh. He’s just asking and then they can go back to sleep. Ven reaches and shakes Sora’s shoulder, sitting back so he’s not right in his face.

Blue eyes snap open instantly, darting around for any sign of danger, and Ventus waits for Sora to focus on him. It only takes a minute and then battle hard muscles relax and Sora yawns. “Something wrong, Ven? You look bothered.”

Having been the one living inside Sora’s heart, Ventus thinks that he should be able to read him better than Sora reads him. He’s probably just off because of...everything else.

The words to his question stick in his throat and Ventus sits down on the dusty ground to try and shake them loose. “It’s...a dumb question.”

“There are no dumb questions,” Sora and Goofy say at the same time. They smile at each other and then Sora tips his head, hair brushing against Riku’s who doesn’t twitch. “So, what’s up?”

“I know there was a lot going on, but…” Ventus stares down at his lap, at the marks on his skin, and forces it out. “Did you...when did you last see Vanitas?” And he knows it must hurt Sora, to ask after the dark that has his face and tormented him with Ventus’s own name.

Sora is silent and Ventus doesn’t look at him. He doesn’t expect the softer tone when Sora speaks. “Ven, I’m sorry, but I didn’t see him at all. Not here. There was Xemnas and Xehanort…” He sounds so damn apologetic.

“Yeah, it was a long shot,” Ventus cuts him off. “I just want to...tie up loose ends.” His loose ends, unspooling now that the immediate and very dangerous threat is gone and he can think of more than just the next attack again. Can think of the empty feeling haunting his steps.

_Gone. But shouldn’t he have **felt** it? _

This never should have happened. He should have been stronger. Then they’d be whole or at least together and he wouldn’t feel the ache down to his bones, because his other half was _gone_ and he didn’t even feel complete and-.

“-en. _Ventus_.” The voice breaks through the beginning of his spiral of self-doubt. He looks up, blinking like an owl and Sora giggles. Kairi hits him in the arm, suddenly there and awake, and Ventus realizes she was the one speaking to him. She looks back, eyes a couple shades lighter blue than Sora’s. “You’re looking for Vanitas?”

Ven nods slowly, surprised at the familiarity she says the name with. “Yeah. You’ve met him?”

Kairi snorts. “Yes, he’s an asshole. But if you’re looking for him…” Her gaze is entirely too piercing and Ventus can feel himself going red. She smirks. “Point is, I can feel _something_ like him nearby.” Her brow wrinkles, which Ventus easily relates to being around Vanitas, and Sora takes her hand. “He’s a little to the south.”

“ _Thanks_ , Kairi,” Ventus says with feeling. “I’ll be right back.”

“Do you want backup? Must be pulsing with the dark for Kairi to be able to track him.” That’s Riku, also awake and ready to go. Ventus can see Terra all over him sometimes.

Ven smiles and waves a hand. “I got it, trust me. Thanks, guys.” He pushes himself to his feet and can practically feel their silent conversation behind him. He looks over his shoulder. “Really, I got it. Ten years and you get to know somebody.”

Riku snorts, Sora splutters, and Kairi hums. “I’ll keep an eye open...just in case.” Her gaze is firm. “He’s not a nice person, Ven, not like you.”

Now Ven’s smile turns sharp. “Yeah, we can’t both be something. That’s just not how it works.” He starts walking and is glad that they stay and talk to each other instead of trying to follow.

The air stirs little streams of dust around his legs as he walks away from their camp. It grows quiet so quickly, only the air whistling around the spires to accompany him. It’s so unnerving, that it takes him a minute to realize the writhing of his gut and the heavy feeling on his chest isn’t just from his nerves.

He stops and lets the feeling wash over him. He’s nervous about what he’ll find, but the undercurrent of fear and nausea isn’t his. It’s muted now that he’s noticed it and he mentally prods the wall. Under a bit of pressure, he can feel the whirling, unending storm on the other side, the feeling of being sucked down to the depths of the dark with no end in sight.

Fuck walking, he runs.

The horrible welling feelings build as he goes further south; they taste like poison slicking down his throat and the air chokes from his lungs. He can’t stop though and it’s so overwhelming that he has to do something. So, he does.

He grabs the horrible feelings and yanks, dragging them to his side of the wall. He stumbles under the force, the wave of them crashing over him and trying to slam him into the dirt. But he’s stronger than them. He keeps a firm hold and forces himself onward.

The storm is slightly quieter and he dares to grab another thread of it and yank it to him. Tears spring to his eyes and he wants to curl up on the ground, but-!

But there’s a small gasp just ahead, of someone coming up for air.

Ven runs those last few feet, skidding around a spire that’s only ten feet tall and there’s someone crumpled behind it, surrounded by little twitching creatures and spools of darkness. They spike outward, stabbing through an Unversed and then get dragged back as the person groans in pain.

“Vanitas,” Ven says, voice quiet, shaking.

The head snaps up and around and Vanitas’s golden eyes are wild, an animal in a human’s face. Memories make Ventus’s hand tighten, ready to summon his keyblade, but he forces it down. Vanitas, masked and distant, before Ventus knew him. Vanitas standing over Aqua, ready to kill her. Vanitas screaming and laughing wildly as they clash.

Vanitas, in a stupid black coat, not even reacting as Ventus reaches out to grab him, desperate to understand _why-_.

Ventus’s knees hit the hard-packed ground with another wave of negativity threatening to choke him. He can feel it starting to pull back and he grabs it and heaves it away from Vanitas who chokes. The Unversed around them waver and then disappear, pulled back under Vanitas’s skin. Vanitas shoves himself upright, setting his back against the spire and trying to glare at Ventus.

He looks _exhausted_ and sick and Ventus ignores the growling and the snapped words he knows are coming. He leans forward and wraps his arms tightly around Vanitas. “Fuck _you_ for vanishing.”

The roaring in his head gets louder and then softer. He can hear the skitter of Unversed behind him, but more importantly, he feels arms wrap around him and pull him closer. Vanitas is shaking and Ventus squeezes him.

Vanitas shudders and there are tears on Ventus’s shoulder, but he doesn’t say anything, just holds him here, close, and refuses to let go.

He has no idea how long they’re there, how long Vanitas shakes in his arms. Ventus just breathes, feeling the way Vanitas’s emotions roll through them both, the way it makes his stomach twist and his eyes sting. If he’s only feeling a portion of it…

Ventus sits back with a frown, putting his hands to Vanitas’s shoulders. “Are you okay?”

Vanitas immediately bursts into hysterical laughter. “Am I _okay_?” He throws his arms out to his sides. “Can’t you feel how _fantastic_ I am?”

He refuses to take the bait into an argument. “It’s over, Vanitas. Now...nobody’s going to hurt you.” Ventus doesn’t think he needs to add that _he won’t let them_ ; Vanitas should be able to feel it.

Vanitas’s face, already pale, looks vaguely like glue, tinted slightly wrong, and the darkness around him writhes as he looks at Ventus, still laughing in broken waves. “Great,” he spits out. “ _Great_ , Ventus. I’m just fucking, ha, _overjoyed_.” Even saying it seems to be too much as Vanitas curls forward holding his stomach and several Unversed come crawling from the shadows.

Ventus watches, eyes wide. Vanitas hasn’t lost control, hasn’t acted like this since…

He grabs Vanitas’s shoulders, pressing him back against the stone spire. Ventus studies him carefully as Vanitas glares at him. Eyes gold, but exhausted and slightly watery. His skin, paler than normal and he’s sheened with sweat. His hair is sticking to the back of his neck and he looks honest to god sick.

Sick and shooting off Unversed and rolling with negativity that makes both their stomachs twist. It’s just like how Vanitas told him it was in the beginning. There’s no reason for Vanitas’s loss of control, unless he’s...out of practice?

“Did he...Vanitas, did he stop you from feeling anything?”

Vanitas breaks eye contact, looking away. He’s dead silent, lips pressed together. Ventus squeezes his shoulders. “Please, tell me.”

The leather of Vanitas’s gloves creaks as he tightens his hands into fists. More curls of darkness roll off of him, but Ventus ignores the cold feeling of it around his arms, waiting.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what he did.” Vanitas’s voice is quiet, rough.

“For a while I could...when that kid was around, I could summon the Unversed and I swear everything was so close.”

“But after...everything was...cold.”

Vanitas curls forward again, his head to Ventus’s shoulder, hands tight fists in his lap.

Close to Sora...of course, Ventus was still with him then. After that, after Ventus was back in his own body...he didn’t see Vanitas until later. And then, he was...so empty.

And now, without Xehanort puppeting them all, after a fight against the light which has always cut through Vanitas’s being like a sword, now that every emotion between them has flooded back… He needs help.

Ventus inhales. “Okay, you’re going to hate me and this is going to suck, but I’m dragging you back to the others.”

Vanitas tips his head slightly to glare. It’s a poor example of his usual. “Too much of a coward to execute me yourself?”

“No, _idiot_ , too stupid to know how to help.” Ventus wraps his arms around Vanitas and gets them both standing.

Normally, Vanitas could shove him off easily, but now he sways and clings for support, not even taking the excuse to add to the insults. He’s so fucking _splintered_ that it hurts.

Ventus shoves the extra feelings away. Vanitas has enough to deal with as it is. He wraps an arm around Vanitas’s back and starts them walking.

Floods dart past their feet and Ventus can’t help a grin. “They’re still cute.”

“Fuck you.” But it lacks the sharp bite or even the warmth it grew to have.

Ventus squeezes him and Vanitas slumps and they walk.


	2. Chapter 2

Somehow, the wasteland seems less threatening with Vanitas slumped against him and several Floods scampering around them. Ventus would laugh at the inversion from previous experiences, if it weren’t for the way Vanitas’s weight continues to drop against him.

Neither of them is speaking, but the rasping of Vanitas’s breathing seems so loud. Ventus presses his lips together and wills himself not to move faster; Vanitas would be yanked along and collapse for sure.

He keeps glancing at his dark half, how deflated he seems, and wondering just what they can do to help. There must be something…short of trying to smash themselves back together and causing another _mess_.

Ventus shouldn’t even be considering it, but he files it way in the back of his head anyway.

He’s lost track of how far they’ve gone and just where Vanitas’s Unversed are, so as they round a large spire, a shout surprises him and Vanitas.

Void Gear is in Vanitas’s hand and Ventus is shoved back a step as Vanitas pushes off him. Even the helmet has reappeared from nowhere and Ventus clicks his tongue in frustration, just like Aqua.

He steps forward before _someone_ thinks they’re under attack and wraps his arms around Vanitas’s lifted arm. It’s trembling slightly, so Ventus yanks it down. “Oh that’s great. That’ll definitely be convincing to not get attacked.”

Vanitas hisses at him through the mask. “They’re the stupid assholes shouting out of nowhere.” He snaps a hand through the air at three people all standing together, clearly waiting for Ventus.

“Just be glad it’s them and not Aqua. She’d have taken you out, no question,” Ventus hisses back. He directs a tired smile at Sora, Riku, and Kairi.

Kairi is staring at them, one hand wrapped around her keyblade. Riku is looking between the two of them and the Unversed that must have startled them. Sora is crouched down and smiling at the Flood, like it’s a pet.

Ventus really wonders which of them was the greater influence on the other. He kind of hopes he notices it less as they get time...away from each other.

Kairi smiles back at Ven. “We figured you might need help with…” She pauses, eyeing Vanitas up and down. He looks like less of a threat with his dominant arm dragged out of a ready position by Ven’s weight. The mask, though, has really got to go before they reach the others. “This,” Kairi decides on. “I could feel you coming back.”

Riku waves his hand, still glimmering a little with magic, at the creature tilting its head to study Sora. “Should we do something about this?”

“Do what?” Sora answers before Ventus can. “It’s friendly!”

Ventus can feel Vanitas bristle and his grin goes from tired to truly amused. “Only to some people. Let it be. They’re just following us and won’t attack you unless threatened.” Or Vanitas feels threatened.

This is going to be a shitshow, but Ven will be damned if it’s not one he rides right on through, dragging everyone into line behind him. He’ll just have to keep Vanitas as relaxed as is possible in an incredibly tense situation where his very existence might be on the line.

That shouldn’t sound like a regular day for them, but it does.

Vanitas still stubbornly has Void Gear out and his mask on. Ventus slides his hand down the arm and presses on his hand. There’s another hiss and the keyblade vanishes. Kairi’s does as well, but the glimmer of magic lingers around Riku’s hand as he looks down at Sora and the Flood again.

This makes Vanitas snort. “The only smart one of you three,” he says loud enough to carry, “is the one with dark powers. Fucking, of course.”

Sora stands up, frowning. Ventus wraps his around around Vanitas’s chest and forces him back a step. “Ignore him. He’s insulting when he’s uncomfortable.”

Riku just arches an eyebrow and shoots a dart of fire, making the Flood leap back toward them and away from Sora. Sora slaps his hand, but doesn’t move forward. “I’m tied with Sora actually.”

“Then you’re a real fucking moron.”

Ventus slaps a hand on Vanitas’s helmet despite the lack of a mute button there, just to try and make him stop. “ _Please_ don’t listen to him.”

Kairi tips her head. “What’s the plan, Ven? The others will want to restrain him, especially if he keeps mouthing off.”

“Cowards,” Vanitas answers. “The smart thing would be to kill me.”

“Okay, if you’re trying to antagonize someone into ending you, you literally have the four least likely people around.” Ventus sighs and rubs his forehead. “I’m not going to do it and neither are they.”

Vanitas scoffs. “Are you kidding? It’d be _easy_ . I rush the princess and they jump to her defense. If I manage to injure her, the brat will probably kill me like he’s done others. He gets more rage blind than _your_ friends. And if I injure _him_ , then tall, dark, and silver will be all over my ass. It’d be _so_ easy.”

Ventus is going to strangle him. He knows the smirk that should be on Vanitas’s face, he’s seen it as Vanitas spat similar vile at him. But, instead he can feel the curling, crushing negativity drawing his stomach into a knot.

Sora, Riku, and Kairi all look ready to knock him out, but they’re polite enough to leave it to Ven, since he’s closest and Vanitas hasn’t actually made a move yet. Ventus appreciates them.

He hooks his arm around Vanitas’s chest and yanks him backward into him. “Okay, that’s enough. Stop with the hissing cat impression.” Ven deliberately lets his emotions run into Vanitas, frustration, exhaustion, and underlying care, and can feel him shake a little.  
  
“Playing dirty,” Vanitas mutters before he has to grab Ventus’s shoulder to keep from stumbling. A couple more of the Unversed pop out of the dark spools curling around his feet and scurry off. Ventus tries not to let the shame curl over the wall between them because Vanitas is acting like an ass, but he’s not going to let Vanitas get himself hurt...more.

Ventus wraps an arm around his back for support and looks at the other three. Sora already looks more concerned than angry, Riku’s carefully neutral, and Kairi is frowning. Ven sighs. “He’s putting up a front. Something’s really wrong and he needs help.”

The three of them trade looks and silent discussion through eyebrows and pursed lips and then Sora nods. He steps forward and takes Vanitas’s other side. “That’s easy enough!”

“If you touch me, I will rip your arm off,” Vanitas hisses at him.

Sora grins at him. “Like you could.”

“He’d try,” Ventus says dryly. “Just stay on that side, Sora. If he can’t walk, you can help. Ignore the Floods.”

Sora looks at the blue shapes darting around their feet. “These are a lot nicer than the big ones.” He looks up, eyes shining. “Hey, wait, if they’re from him, he can tell me about the cr-.”

Vanitas tries to swing at him, but Ventus holds him tightly as Sora hops back a step. Ventus tries in vain not to laugh as Vanitas growls and snaps his teeth together, the sound carrying despite the mask. 

Ventus gives him another tug so Vanitas is leaning against him again. “Don’t ask, Sora. He’s-.” 

“It’s none of your business, you _fuck_.” Vanitas sounds actually angry and Ventus watches a Scrapper take shape. Before anyone can move, Vanitas slams it back into the ground with his foot. It disappears and he slumps, giving a soft groan.

Riku and Kairi have both moved forward, taking Sora’s sides again. Riku squeezes his shoulder. “You stay with Kairi. I’ll help Ven.”

Sora makes a face. “Fine. Only because I know you’ll be able to carry him. He weighs the same as me." 

Ventus rolls his eyes. “Weird how many of us weigh close to the same.”

“I know, right?” Sora shoots him that idiot’s grin, but his eyes are bright with amusement at his joke. 

Vanitas hisses something about everyone being an idiot. Ventus snorts and adjusts his hold on his dark half. “Come on. You’ll feel better soon.” 

The blank mask conveys exactly as much doubt as Vanitas’s face would. Ventus just smiles at it; Vanitas turns away with what almost sounds like a defeated sigh.

Kairi and Sora take the lead, Kairi taking his hand as they walk. Riku takes Vanitas’s other side, hands shoved in his pockets like this is just a casual stroll. Vanitas stays silent now that they’re moving, trying to lean less on Ven.

Ven resists the urge to drag him closer. If he wants to act tough now, fine. It means he’ll have less strength for fighting once they reach the whole group. Worlds above, what is he going to say to Aqua and Terra about this? _Hey so, one of the people who broke us all up and worked with Xehanort is hurt and needs help. He’s still a total pain in the ass, but I promise he’s not_ **_all_ ** _bad._

Lost in extremely unconvincing thought, Ventus doesn’t notice Vanitas’s more labored breathing until fingers dig into his shoulder and he’s forced to a stop. Ven looks around in concern and Riku pauses, eyebrow going up. “Everything alright?”

“Ventus, _stop it_ ,” Vanitas grinds out. “Stop fucking _fretting_.” His mask melts away and he shoves a hand over his face like he can tear the feeling out and throw it back to Ventus.

Fuck. “Sorry,” Ventus mumbles. He bundles the feeling down, dragging the creeping tendrils of it away from the wall between him and Vanitas. The negativity swirling around recedes somewhat and Vanitas’s grip eases. He drops the hand and glares at Ven.

Ventus makes an apologetic face. “Sorry. I’m out of practice too.”

Vanitas’s only response is a derisive scoff.

Riku almost sounds amused as he says, “I feel like I’m missing half the conversation.”

“Good because it’s still _none of your fucking business_.” Vanitas glares at him now and Riku just looks interested.

“Yeah, guess it is. Man, I can’t imagine Sora glaring at me like that.”

Vanitas makes a noise so angry it chokes him. Ven squeezes him. “Let’s just keep going.” 

Riku’s eyes meet Ven’s and he nods like something else has been said. “Right. Sorry, Vanitas.” He starts walking again. 

“Fucker should be sorry,” Vanitas mutters, but he moves after him, Ventus hurrying to support him.

They can see their makeshift camp just ahead and Ventus has to fight to keep himself calm. He still has no idea how he’s going to convince everyone that they need to help somebody literally born from the dark. No one’s been good at shades of grey through this.

He can see heads lift as Kairi and Sora make their back toward their rest spot, curious about where they’ve gone and what could be going on now.

Vanitas’s helmet reappears in a flash and his voice is harsh in Ventus’s ear. “Alright, genius, show me your brilliant plan that gets me _help_.”

Ventus takes a deep breath and walks them forward.


	3. Chapter 3

All eyes shift to the three of them as they cross the invisible border of camp.

Ventus isn’t so trusting as to cross right to the center so he skates around the edge, heading toward where the other former vessels are laid out and resting. Vanitas is tense against him and Ven can feel him fighting the urge to summon both Unversed and Void Gear. “It’s fine,” he mutters. The scoff he gets is well deserved.

Muttering is happening around camp too, not so quietly from where Sora and Donald are talking, complete with arm movements. Ven doesn’t try to pick apart the voices, doesn’t want to know exactly what’s being said by Aqua or Terra or Mickey. He just wants Vanitas to be sat down and start working on properly helping him.

Quick footsteps that he knows too well approach and Ventus stops. He meets Aqua’s gaze and can’t tell whether Vanitas or he are more nervous about what she’ll do.

Before Ven can say anything, her glare is fixed on Vanitas. “What is he doing here, Ven?”

“I’m here to blow your whole operation now that you’re all exhausted and thought that it was over, of course. I figured limping in after I suckered Ventus would be the best way to sneak in, because all of you lights are just so kindhearted and forgiving.” Vanitas is, as always, quicker to speak than Ventus.

He even pushes himself upright, only the grip on Ventus’s shoulder to give away that he’s not able to do it under his own power. If his helmet were off, he’d be forcing a smirk. “And now I’m here to cover you all in my own personal brand of darkness because I’m just  _ like that, right _ ?”

Aqua steps back, keyblade in hand. “That was very foolish of you.”

Ventus holds his hands up. “Come  _ on _ , Aqua. Vanitas is a jerk, but he’s not stupid. He wouldn’t just tell us that before doing it. He’d at least wait until he thought he had us caught before monologuing.”

“Wow,” Vanitas says.

Aqua is still staring at Vanitas instead of Ventus. “He’s playing us, Ven. Just like they all did, just like he did before. Only he knows what he’s really up to. I’m not going to give him a chance to get in anybody’s head.”

“Fuck, I really should have just gone for her.”

“Vanitas, shut  _ up _ .” Ventus smacks his back, not hard enough to make him lose his grip. “Aqua, he’s been used as much as the other vessels. He’s been used just like  _ Terra _ .” And those should be the magic words, the ones that make her back off and reconsider.

But Aqua’s gaze goes hard as steel and she lifts her keyblade into the ready position. “The difference is that Terra comes from the light and  _ he _ is made from darkness.”

Ventus shoves Vanitas off of him, summoning Wayward Wind in an instant. Aqua’s Stormfall clashes against it and she finally looks him in the eye, shocked. “Ven, what are you doing? He almost killed you!”

“And Terra almost killed you!”

“Terra was already possessed.  _ He’s  _ never been anything but a monster!”

Ventus forces her back, unlocking their keyblades. “He came from  _ me _ . Being from the darkness doesn’t make anyone a monster!”

Aqua looks torn between furious anger and tearful frustration. She straightens up, Stormfall still tightly in hand. “What he  _ did _ makes him a monster.”

He wants to scream at her, explain exactly how wrong she is, how they’ve all done the wrong thing, even Master Eraqus, that to be a  _ monster _ means no regret. But the right words escape him and he doesn’t want to fight her, but he _ will _ .

“Alright, I hate to cut in on such a personal moment, but I think you’re about to set off the kid.” Lea’s voice, perfectly pitched for a casual conversation, breaks Ventus’s tunnel vision.  He looks around at the tall redhead, somehow between them now, and smiling like nothing’s wrong. Lea points behind Ven and he whirls around.

Riku, who had stayed with them instead of going over to his friends, is holding Vanitas to his chest. Not because he’s restraining him from joining the fight, but because Vanitas is shaking and shuddering, knees drawing up to his chest as he gasps for breath, hands clenched in his hair.

“Vanitas!” Ventus vanishes his keyblade and darts over.

Darkness writhes around Vanitas, curling around Riku’s arms and pooling on the ground. Shapes spring and crawl and stumble from it, the Unversed responding to their master’s emotions and how they’re spiraling out of control.

A Scrapper lunges for Aqua who cuts through it, vanishing it immediately. Vanitas groans and two more appear along with a Flood. They go again for Aqua who deflects them.

Ventus can feel it, the storm that sprung back to life  _ because _ of him, his argument with Aqua, his highstrung emotions spilling into Vanitas like a wave when he has no strong ability to hold them back. Ven forces himself to breathe. He takes a tailor’s seat on the ground, right in front of Riku, and folds his hands in his lap.

He forces himself to think of nothing, not Aqua’s demanding questions or Vanitas’s struggling noises or even Lea’s voice as he tries to cut over everything. He thinks of his breathing and an empty beach, matching his inhales with the waves coming in. Safety, peace, calm.

Everything goes quiet in him and he’s able to see the ties between the two of them. He reaches out and puts his hands on the writhing connections. They flare under his touch and as before, he draws the negativity away and into himself. His muscles tense and his stomach twists, but he pulls and pulls and refuses to break.

Someone grabs his shoulders, tight enough to bruise, and then curls against him, still shaking. Ven wraps his arms around Vanitas and opens his eyes again.

They’ve summoned a crowd.

Aqua, Riku, and Lea are standing around them, looking varying levels of concerned and ready to strike. Around them are the Unversed, standing quietly, waiting and watching. Ventus exhales and looks at the three humans, seeing that they’re all armed now, keyblades glimmering against the dust. He can hardly blame them; the Unversed aren't exactly friendly looking as they stand and stare and twitch.

Lea, unsurprisingly, breaks the silence. “This is more excitement than I expected after booting the old man. You get bored easily, don’t you, Ven?” He’s smiling still, always fronting when he’s uncomfortable.

“At least they’re calm now,” Riku says with a shrug, keyblade resting on his shoulder.

Aqua looks at the other two and then down at the tangle Vanitas has made of himself. Her frown deepens. “We need to take care of them.” It’s a very inclusive  _ them _ .

Ventus scowls at her. “Don’t. Leave them alone or you’ll set him off again. It’s my fault. Just give him a minute to calm down.”

Her mouth opens to argue, but then Lea is leaning against her shoulder. “I think that’s a reasonable request while none of us are getting our limbs ripped off.” He waves a conceding hand between Aqua and the Unversed. “Of course, none of us will give up keeping guard, but there’s no reason to cause a fight.”

“If you suggest ice cream next, I win a bet.” Riku’s voice is all dry humor, but his eyes are bright. 

Lea makes a rather rude gesture that has Aqua clicking her tongue.

Ventus takes their moment of distraction to look down at Vanitas. He’s curled around Ven like a barnacle, arms tight and head hidden against his chest. His legs are tucked as close as possible, almost the fetal position. He’s still shaking, but Ven can feel him pulling bits of himself back together, like someone picking up pieces of broken glass, careful and cautious of the sharp edges.

Shadows flow slowly over the ground, leading to Vanitas and some of the Unversed begin to disappear. Ven watches, rubbing Vanitas’s back, giving him what privacy is possible between them.

Aqua takes notice when one of the Buckle Bruisers vanishes in a rush and she whips back around to the two of them. “What is he doing?”

Ventus fights very hard to keep his voice calm instead of snapping at her. She doesn’t....she doesn’t know Vanitas. She’s still Ventus’s friend, but she doesn’t  _ know _ . He needs to remember that as much as she needs to let him explain. “He’s pulling them back in.”

“He’s taking them back...to make himself more powerful?”

Ven shakes his head. “He’s just taking them back.”

For the first time, Aqua looks confused, a scholar seeking the answer to a strange puzzle. He misses the curious frown that used to grace her face every evening as they worked together in the library. “Why?”

“Because they’re fucking annoying,” Vanitas growls out, head lifted just enough to direct one golden eye at her. His voice sounds like he’s been gargling rocks, but Ven is probably the only one close enough to see the slight water in his eyes. “Fuck off already.”

Now Aqua arches an eyebrow. Even she can see that Vanitas’s previous bravado and creeping menace has deserted him. He’s never been one to resort to petty insults and swears when he could bring to bear real threats. She keeps Stormfall in hand, but crouches down, a position Ven is well familiar with. It’s how she makes herself feel approachable, how she gets close to what she’s interested in.

She studies Vanitas, frowning, and Vanitas glares back, his training too ingrained to break eye contact with a threat. Ven can feel his nerves though, feel how past experience makes him very wary of Aqua’s power. Even crouched down, she’s still higher than him right now.

Ventus runs his hand down Vanitas’s back again. “He’s not going to blink. I think he’s completely capable of ignoring it to spite people.” He keeps his tone light, friendly, trying to relax them both.

“So, he’s part lizard?” That’s Lea, leaning in in interest, one arm on his keyblade stuck in the ground.

Vanitas continues staring back at Aqua, but snaps a reply, “Do I  _ look _ part lizard to you?”

“You look part bitch to me actually, but I’m just more familiar with those on the regular.” Lea grins at him and Ventus snorts.

Aqua interrupts the moment. “Fine. He can stay as long as he starts no fights and keeps his monsters under control.” Her tone is courteous, a little cold.

Vanitas bares his teeth like a beast, but says nothing.

Ventus fills the gap, “Thanks, Aqua.”

She straightens up, face a bit blank. “You will always be with someone else when you’re with him, Ven. Lea can do it right now. I’m going to check on Terra.”

“Is he okay?” Ventus looks at her in real concern and can feel Vanitas’s annoyance at the spike of emotion.

Aqua’s gentle smile returns for a moment, more tired than it used to be. “He’s fine. I don’t want him to wake up alone.” She banishes Stormfall. “Come get me if there’s any issues, Lea.”

“Sure, sure. Thanks for asking me if I wanted to play babysitter.”

“You’re used to it,” is Aqua’s parting shot. Her steps crunch over the ground as she walks through the vanishing Unversed to leave them alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw you've had 10 years or so to bond with your dark half and your older sister is tired, has no idea what the hell you're doing, and very much remembers him being a giant asshole.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for emetophobia/vomiting at the end of this chapter

Once Aqua’s left, the quiet feels heavy.

There’s the slight sound of dirt grinding under Riku’s boots as he shifts his weight. “I’m going to go keep those two,” he gestures toward Sora and Kairi, “from starting who knows what in the name of lifting everyone’s spirits. Let me know if you guys need backup.” He gives a two-fingered salute and walks away, leaving no room for argument.

Lea shakes his head, spikes waving in the breeze. “Everybody’s always leaving the work to me. What about me invites it? Don’t they know that I just sleep on my days off?”

“That’s why they give it to you. They know you’re well-rested.” Ventus smiles at him, trying to pretend that Vanitas isn’t still glaring around camp like he’s waiting for the next opponent. He was  _ always _ waiting for a fight. Ventus is pretty sure he spent years teaching him to relax, and that was just around  _ him _ .

Lea’s clothes rustle as he settles gracefully on the ground near them, not so close as to set up Vanitas’s hackles, like he’s used to such things. “That doesn’t mean I want the extra work. Give a guy a break.”

Ventus chuckles tiredly and shifts his legs, or tries to; they’re most pinned under Vanitas. “Dude, you gotta let me stretch or I’m not going to be able to stand.”

Vanitas’s gaze switches to him, considering. He glances towards Lea, the unknown, and then lets go of Ventus to sit upright, catching his balance with a hand to the ground. Thankful, Ven stretches his legs out, chasing away the numb buzz, and then grabs Vanitas and pulls him to his shoulder. “That’s better.”

There’s a slight jingle as Vanitas shifts, the ties on his dark coat tapping against each other, and then his head is against Ven’s shoulder. His fingers press lightly against the ground, ready for any move he might need to make. He’s glaring right at Lea, practically a dare for him to say or do anything.

Lea just arches an eyebrow. “I know those things are as comfortable as pajamas on the inside, but that sound drove me nuts. I’m glad to be back in better threads.”

Ventus snorts. “Lea complained loudly and continuously when they told him it’d take a bit to make his new clothes. And then he had ‘critiques’ on the style.”

“Not everything needs plaid,” Lea says. “I have more style than that.”

“Is that why you wore oversized khakis as a kid?”

“Alright, first of all, Ven-.”

They’re cut off by Vanitas sitting up rather suddenly. His gaze holds Ventus’s, all the intensity of molten gold. “Would you rather this or the old?”

Ventus’s mouth opens and then shuts and he shrugs. “I don’t like seeing it on you, but that’s up to you, Vanitas. I’m used to the other one until we get you other clothes.”

Vanitas clicks his tongue and then yanks the black coat off almost violently. He balls it into his hands and then it’s on fire, black-red flames licking over the cloth with all the power that magical fire can hold. He watches it burn, face lit up in glee, until the ashes are blown out of his hands. The silver chains, half-melted, he spins and then whips further out into the wasteland with more strength than Ven expected him to have.

Lea claps a couple times. “I’m doing that with the others. It looks incredibly satisfying.”

“It was,” Vanitas says with a full-toothed smirk. A Red Hot Chili is bouncing behind him, it’s appearance unnoticed by any of them. Ventus reaches out to poke it and Vanitas turns around. He glares at it and then turns his back on it. His frustration at his inability to draw it back immediately sizzles through their bond.

His regular suit looks far from comfortable, but he seems slightly more satisfied with his head on Ventus’s shoulder again. Ventus draws his hand through Vanitas’s hair, flattening the spikes so they bounce back up again. There’s still the dampness there, the hint of a fever, and Ven frowns. 

Everything  _ seems _ fine for now, but Vanitas is very, very good at repressing things and soldiering on regardless of what’s happened to him. Ventus brushes through Vanitas’s hair again. “Sleep if you can. I’ll keep watch.”

“You’re a shit guard.”

“You’re an exhausted bitch. Close your eyes for a few minutes at least.”

Vanitas hisses, but seems to trust that Ven can handle this and Lea won’t be ambushing them for a few minutes. His eyes close and Ven wraps an arm around his back, fully expecting him to pass out shortly and need the support. Lea’s gaze sweeps around them, noticeably pausing on one group across their camp and then continuing to look around.

Ventus counts in his head as the green eyes land on the two of them. He gets to fifteen before Lea’s mouth opens, almost impressive.

“So, you two…” Lea lets it trail off.

“Us two,” Ven repeats, eyebrow going up. “You’re going to have to be more specific.”

Lea flicks a hand out, lighting the tips of his fingers with fire, and then snuffs them out as he curls it back into a fist. “Assume I’m an idiot and start at the beginning. Where did he come from? What’s the connection between you?” His green eyes are serious, an expression too often seen lately. Ven misses the mischief.

Ventus nods, to show he’s considering the questions, and looks down at Vanitas. He’s not asleep, Ven can feel it, but he’s not all awake either. He keeps looking at Vanitas’s face, noticing the pallor and thinness that wasn’t there before, as he answers.   
  
“Ma-, Xehanort wanted to force the x-blade. So, when I was too weak for him to use, he decided to make me useful to him.” Ventus doesn’t think about being here then, about the massive heartless clawing for him as Xehanort demanded he do better, be stronger, and then shook his head in disappointment.

“He split us in half, the dark part of our heart and the light.” Ventus indicates Vanitas and then himself. “And we almost died, me more than Vanitas.”

“Yeesh, literal broken heart sounds like a terrible way to go.” Lea shakes his head.

Ventus kicks at his ankle, trying not to laugh. “I was really bad off, Xehanort thought I was going to die, so did Vanitas. And everything about me bothered Vanitas; we really were polar opposites at that point. So Xehanort drug me back to the Islands, I still don’t know why. But, it brought me close to Sora.”

Lea’s eyebrows go up. “When was this?”

“Right after he was born, I guess. Newborn hearts are really pure, and it’s Sora, so you know.” Ventus shrugs and Lea can only snort at that.  _ It’s Sora _ . “His heart offered to help mine and stabilized me. Since Vanitas and I are still connected, it also affected him. It’s why…” Ventus trails off, mouth twisting. Is it really his to reveal Vanitas’s history?

“Why they look like each other,” Lea fills in. “Makes sense, I guess. Just like Roxas looking like you.”

Ven makes a face. “Let’s not get into the heart’s idea of appearance reflection. It’s too much of a headache.”

Lea grins. “Yeah, we can pick that apart with all seven of the wonder twins later. Now, the creatures?”

“Unversed,” Ven answers with a nod. “They’re from Vanitas. They’re from our emotions, mostly the negative. It’s a symptom of our breaking off, at least that’s our best guess. Xehanort wasn’t really known for...taking care with the things he did.” His face feels tight and he looks down at Vanitas.

One of Vanitas’s eyes open a sliver and his hand squeezes Ven’s leg, comfort. Ven smiles at him and bumps their heads together. Like he needs the comfort when it’s Xehanort’s treatment of Vanitas that really upsets him. “And then four years later, we tried to kill each other.”

“That’s quite a jump.” Lea is quiet for a minute. “And yet, I completely understand.”

Ven sighs. “Yeah, it kind of became exceptionally common, didn’t it? I was sent to Master Eraqus and Xehanort took Vanitas. You can ask him about his side of things.” Which won’t be forthcoming as Vanitas has his eyes closed again, feigning sleep or actually dozing.

“Right. I’ve got more questions about those Unversed though.”

“Well I don’t know  _ everything _ about them, but I can probably tell you the basics.” Ven shrugs Vanitas into a better position, keeping his shoulder from going numb. Lea motions for him to continue and he tries to get his thoughts in order.

“They look like they’re made of darkness, but it’s different. Used to be they were all made of negative emotions, literally negativity. I’m not exactly sure about stuff that’s happened since then, but mostly they still come from the negativity, especially like earlier.”

“And it’s not just Vanitas’s negativity. He feels what I feel, which is why it blew up. I let Aqua upset me and, well.” Ven grimaces, unsure how to explain without revealing that Vanitas has lost his old tight control. That’s  _ Vanitas’s _ business and as much as he likes Lea, it’s not something he’s just going to reveal.

Lea’s fingers tap against the ground as he considers. “What happens when they get destroyed?”

Ventus shrugs. “They return to Vanitas. He’s the origin point, so the negativity and emotion that gives them form goes back to him. It’s basically a really crappy cycle of expulsion, destruction, and return. He can release them from their forms without striking them down, like he’s been doing.” He waves a hand at the few remaining Unversed, mostly Floods and a couple Scrappers, sniffing around and not moving more than ten feet from the two of them.

He holds a hand out to the closest Flood and it twitches its head back and forth before putting it gently on his palm. Ven rubs its chin and its eyes close. It chitters softly and then vanishes in a sudden puff of black flame. He looks down at Vanitas, who hasn’t moved or opened his eyes, and squeezes his shoulder.

“I guess that’s another question for him,” Lea’s voice breaks the silence, pitched to be soft and leave Vanitas at rest. Ventus hums to show he’s listening and Lea continues. “I’m sure you know, but won’t tell me if it hurts him when they’re destroyed.”

Ven’s shoulders stiffen despite his best efforts to remain calm. Lea huffs what’s almost a laugh, without the amusement. “Yeah, thought so.”

He’s looking across camp when Ven looks up, probably toward the group he left to come intervene with their mess. It’s one of the few times where Ven has looked at him and feels like he’s seeing something real and not put-on. Lea’s as tired as the rest of them, exhaustion making dark bags under his eyes, and his gaze seems sad. His mouth turns down at the corners, not quite a frown, but not the smile he usually holds on.

Ventus shifts in place. “Anything else you want to ask?”

Lea turns back and there’s the smile; Ven’s glad it reaches his eyes. “Oh, tons, but I might as well save them for when he can offer his side.” He leans forward a little, studying Vanitas. “Kid deserves his chance to tell me to fuck off.”

“Lea, we’re  _ both _ older than you.”

“Yeah, but you look like squirts, so I’m sticking with it until maturity can be proven.” Lea smirks at him.

Ventus makes a face back, sticking his tongue out, but Lea’s got him there. He and Vanitas are as likely to outmature anyone as Lea is to start using wateraga. Lea smirks at him and Ven wants to hold onto a scowl, but his lips twitch. He breaks into laughter when Lea does, and like a switch is thrown, the rest of the Unversed vanish.

Pleased and hopeful that sharing the light feeling with Vanitas is helping, Ven looks over.

Vanitas is jerking himself upright, sitting away from Ven; he pulls out of Ven’s hold, and puts his back to him. Ven grabs his shoulder just as Vanitas throws up a puddle of darkness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, emetophobia/vomit warning here at the start!

It’s like oil spreading over the ground, shimmering in a way that screams of the unnatural as it spills from Vanitas’s mouth. It drips from his chin and Ven knows how it can cling to his teeth, making Vanitas’s face look like it’s literally melting into the darkness he was born from.

Ven’s stomach twists, but he stays back, just holding Vanitas’s shoulder. Vanitas’s gloved hands have dug into the ground, a desperate attempt to anchor himself.

Lea is not nearly so calm. “Holy **_shit_**. What is that?” He’s half up and out of his seat, one foot under him, and ready to move. Fight or flight makes his muscles tense and Ven watches his eyes jump around from Vanitas to the mess to the others and their surroundings.

“I’m not sure what it is,” Ven answers quickly, not wanting him to panic and go get Aqua. “Darkness or negativity or a mix of the two. I’ve only seen it a couple times. Never physically.” He squeezes Vanitas’s shoulder as he gags again. There’s nothing left in him, but Vanitas stays in place, shuddering.

Ven leans closer, closing his eyes briefly. Their bond is still there, but there’s something off about it. It’s not the writhing pain of too much emotion like earlier, but Ven can’t focus enough to really study it and find the source of the wrong feeling. His eyes reopen. “Vani?” he asks softly.

Vanitas mumbles something too low to catch, but there’s the sensation of him wanting to offer reassurance tickling under Ventus’s skin. Ven wraps an arm around him.

Lea squats in front of them, avoiding the oil-like substance. He puts the back of his hand to Vanitas forehead. He whistles lowly with a frown. “Kid, I summon fire and you’re burning up. That’s a hell of a fever.”

Ven’s hands already feel like ice, so he doesn’t even try to check Lea’s assessment. It didn’t feel that hot earlier; it must have spiked. “Is there anything with what we brought with us? I thought half the pharmacy came with us.”

“I’ll go check the supplies. Not sure fever reducers crossed anybody’s mine while preparing for a fight.” Lea straightens up. “Get him lying down. Maybe he shouldn’t have ditched the coat…” The last is a mutter as he quickly crosses camp, squatting down by the bags of supplies. It’ll attract attention, but Lea’s good at distracting people.

Vanitas pushes backward from the ground and falls directly against Ventus. Ven huffs at him, but it’s all jest, and he leans them both away from the mess. Once they’re not right next to it, he leans back so they’re flat on the ground. Vanitas huffs, but now Ven can feel the heat radiating off of him. “What was that?” he asks, glad for the moment alone.

Vanitas’s eyes close and Ven would swear his eyelids are more translucent than they used to be. “Oh you know, just me falling apart now that I’ve finally hit my limits.”

“Not funny,” Ven snaps. “What was it really?”

“I don’t  _ know _ . Shit happens to me and none of it is pleasant,” Vanitas hisses. “I’m half a fucking person, had an old man possess my fucking barely reconstituted body, and now it’s finally giving out. I can only guess, same as fucking you.” By the end of it, he just sounds tired.

Ven curls closer to him, like he’s the one sick and in need of comfort. He’s still so  weak . “We’ll figure it out. It’s not just two halves of us sitting around in Sora’s heart. There are so many people who could help. They’ll want to help.”

“Help you maybe,” Vanitas mutters. “I was trying to kill them.”

“Because  _ Xehanort _ wanted to, not you.”

“You can’t actually read my mind. Stop pretending like you know that for certain.”

Ventus lifts his head and looks at Vanitas flatly. He doesn’t say a word, just looks at him. Vanitas’s eyes flick up to meet his gaze and then away. “Shut up, you  _ can’t _ .”

Ven grins slightly. “I don’t have to, you absolute jackass. Ten years is longer than anybody needs to know somebody.”

Vanitas sighs in annoyance. “Just shut it before you make me throw up again. Fuck, you’re such a know-it-all. This is all  _ her _ fault. Bet she drug you into books the second you got there and practically fed them to you just so you could sound like a fuckhead.”

“Terra spent more time in the library actually. Aqua liked practical practice.” It’s an old conversation, one they’ve had before, but it’s comfortable ground, “arguing” about Ven’s friends. “They’re both know-it-alls though, you’re right about that.”

“As I am about most things once people get over themselves and listen to me,” Vanitas says, a world-weary wiseman always ignored.

Ven socks him lightly in the arm. “Maybe if you gave advice in something other than a sneering tone.”

“Maybe if people didn’t ask such  _ stupid _ questions.”

“ _ You’re _ a stupid question.”

“Wow, such an insult, Ventus. I’m reeling. Don’t blame the mysterious breakdown, it’s all that absolutely killer retort.”

About to fire back, Ven is interrupted by someone leaning over them. “Wow, are you sure he’s not feeling well? That sounds normal to me.”

Ven breaks into a grin, his twin echoing it with a tired smile. “Hey Roxas, had a good nap? I thought you guys would be out for a while.”   
  
Roxas shrugs. “Axel woke me up, digging through the supplies, and muttering about icky jobs; the usual.” He looks at Vanitas and arches an eyebrow. “You look like shit.”

Vanitas, strangely quiet, blinks; he quickly shifts his expression from surprise to his usual sneer. It takes him a second to find his voice, but it comes out firm. “I’d say the same, but given you look like Ventus, that’s a fucking given.”

“It’s your old face, kettle.” Roxas takes a seat by them, keeping one knee bent and resting his arm on top of it. Ventus gets the two of them sitting up, Vanitas pushing himself upright and leaving a hand on Ven’s shoulder. Roxas doesn’t comment on it. “When’d you get here?”

“Here-here or this world in general or here being my state of existence? Be specific.” Vanitas waves a hand through the air, like a teacher encouraging a student to answer further.

Roxas rolls his eyes. “Here, post-battle. I know you weren’t here before.”

Vanitas makes a face. “No, I’m not such a weakling to lie down and beg for someone to bandage my boo-boos.”

Ven resists the urge to slap the back of his head. “What he means is, I went and found him. He was nearby and I brought him back to get taken care of. We kind of caused a scene. You really slept through it?”

“I’m not literally Sora, but I’m not going to argue the ability to sleep through the end of the world.” Roxas shrugs. “If nobody was screaming, safe to say I wasn’t going to move.”

“It was more of an argument between me and Aqua…” Ven’s lips twist down and Roxas eyes him. “It’s fine. We settled things. Well, Lea helped.”

Now, Roxas makes a face. Vanitas snickers. “What? Don’t like his name?”

“Do you know how  _ weird _ it is to know somebody and then have them suddenly have a completely different name?” Roxas scratches at his hair, tugging the ends a bit higher. “He doesn’t seem to care what I call him, but it’s weird. I don’t want him to be like...bothered.”

Ven tips his head to the side slightly. “You know....despite all the doubles around, I don’t think  _ I’ve _ ever had that problem. Lea had it both ways when we met again. There was his old memories of me, but then there was you... But I only knew Lea as Lea. It was the growth spurt I had to adjust to. He and Isa are...tall.”

“I do  _ not _ want to talk about Saix right now. Let’s talk about Vanitas.”

“Why?” Vanitas asks flatly. “Vanitas is the same old shit. Minus a fever or something. Getting  _ actually  _ sick is bullshit by the way. Remembering it was not nearly so fucking bad.” Ven would be relieved if it was  _ just _ the flu.

Vanitas points at Roxas. “And I’d rather talk about you. What happened? I know sunshine savior boy is around so how’d all...this turn out?” Ven hides a smile at the poorly hidden concern in Vanitas’s voice. Oh, Ven should let him know about...ah, not yet. He’d want to get up and make himself sicker trying to move around.

Roxas shrugs. “You’ll have to ask Sora and his friends for the detail-details. I just kind of...woke up and they were there staring at me. Pretty sure Sora was crying a little, but I was too busy trying to deck Riku in the face.”

Ven snorts and Vanitas outright grins; it brings some light back into his face, combating the pale haggardness. “Did he punch you back?”

“No, and that’s the really  _ annoying _ thing. He knows he deserves it. Kairi pulled me off after two hits.Then there was the hugging.” Roxas blows a piece of his bangs off his forehead with an annoyed huff. “Riku’s a complete asshole, but whatever.” He pouts a little and Vanitas kicks him in the ankle. “Ow, Vanitas, like you haven’t tried to beat Ven to death!”

Vanitas rolls his eyes. “That wasn’t for the punch all of these fucks deserve. Stop pouting. I hate that expression.”

Roxas deliberately pouts harder. “Ugh,” Vanitas groans. “At least I don’t have to feel you doing it.”

“I could start,” Ven offers and takes the smack to his shoulder with a grin. Vanitas has to grab him again to stay balanced and Ventus wraps an arm around his back. Roxas watches, concern obvious.

Vanitas waves a hand at him. “I’m fine, just fucking tired.”

“And that, is a really bad lie!” Lea has reappeared, twirling something small and white between his fingers. Vanitas frowns, his mouth opens to argue, and Lea leans down and pops the thing between his lips. Pure shock keeps Vanitas from trying to smash it between his teeth.

Ven pats his shoulder. “It’s a thermometer. He’s checking your fever.” Annoyance is all he gets from Vanitas, but he doesn’t spit it out like a child. Roxas is watching in interest, unfamiliar with all the nuances of dealing with a fever. Ven glances up at Lea to see him watching Roxas with amusement. 

The thermometer beeps and Ven takes it; Vanitas won’t try to bite him like he might Lea for surprising him. The digital number makes his stomach drop.  _ 102 degrees _ . He offers it to Lea. “He’s definitely got a fever. Any luck on the reducers, at least until we get back?”

Lea frowns at the thermometer and then caps it. “No. He’s going to have to tough it out with old school practices.”

“Like what?” Roxas asks.

“Drinking lots of water and some cold compresses. Good thing a handful of us know ice spells. That’ll make it easy.” Lea pulls a water bottle from his pocket and tosses it into Vanitas’s lap. “Start drinking. I’m going to find something to wrap ice in and find out when we’re leaving.” He strides off.

Vanitas uncaps the bottle and takes a gulp. He spits it out and away, rinsing his mouth, and then takes a proper drink. “He’s fucking pushy.”

“He always feels better when there’s something he can do to help,” Roxas replies. “He can’t stand sitting still when he’s worried about someone.” He shrugs and grabs his ankles, rocking back slightly; Ven’s seen Sora do it before, when he’s thinking and can’t get up to pace. “I hate it too.”

Roxas rocks forward and stops. “Well, we can’t do anything with it until he gets back, but let’s see.” His keyblade appears in a flash, all dark iron with bat wings for guards, and he holds it across his lap. He mutters a ‘ _ blizzard’ _ and a couple chunks of ice form from the air. Quickly, he reaches out and snatches one before it can shatter on the ground.   
  
“Shit, this is cold.” Roxas tosses it from hand to hand and then sets it on the ground.

Vanitas snorts. “It’s ice.”

“It’s going on you, so I’m sure you’ll enjoy it soon. Maybe your face first.”

Ven closes his eyes as they argue back and forth. Vanitas is too warm next to him, but he pushes his worry down; he pushes back the sense of Vanitas’s small sense of happiness at talking with Roxas, and focuses.

Their bond appears behind his eyes again, large white and black chains linked together, gone grey in the middle. It’s easy to see now and Ven trails his mental fingers over his side. Steady white light glows from the links, gentle and not bright enough to burn. It’s his and it warms him from head to toe.

Vanitas’s links are across the distance, too far for Ven to reach out and touch. All his manipulation of their bond, the back and forth of their emotions, comes from pulling directly on his side. He has no way to actually interfere with Vanitas’s links of the chain. But he can see them.

They look fine at first glance, but now that he can study and follow that creeping feeling of wrong, Ven can see that everything is not fine. Vanitas’s black links are mostly whole, but a couple are seeping, leaking into the dark around them. It’s slow, like grains of sand falling from an hourglass, but constant. It makes Ventus’s heart jump into his throat.

This isn’t something he can fix. It isn’t just a matter of making Vanitas feel better. Vanitas’s earlier morbid jest was partially true; something in him is breaking down. He doesn’t know what will happen when one of the chains snaps.

Fighting back panic, Ven jerks his eyes open. Vanitas is still seated next to him, their arms pressed together. Vanitas hasn’t noticed Ven’s study, cheeks slightly flushed with the fever as he threatens to pour the rest of the water over Roxas’s head and freeze it that way if he dares throw the ice at him.

Ven wishes desperately to be back in Sora’s heart. There, they were both safe and could recover. Now...he has no idea what to do.

Vanitas turns immediately, feeling the spike of desperation and sadness. He grabs Ven’s hand. “Don’t look at me like that. I wouldn’t actually freeze the kid’s eyeballs.”

Ven forces a laugh through his throat. “Right. Of course not. You’d find something sneakier to do.”

“Damn right,” Vanitas agrees, but it’s distracted. He studies Ven’s face, brow wrinkling as he’s unable to suss out the source of the emotional turmoil. Ventus shakes his head. They can talk about it later, when he has an idea of what the fuck to try. Vanitas exhales through his nose, but doesn’t argue.

“So, you guys do that here too,” Roxas interrupts. He’s watching them, half-amused, half-concerned, both written all over his face. “I wondered if silent communication was a heart only thing.”

Vanitas scoffs, “Only for poor bastards like you.”

Roxas arches an eyebrow. “I think I’m pretty lucky to have none of you in my head.”

“It’s not in my head per se…” Ven says, glad for the distraction. “Just constantly knowing exactly what I’m feeling. Can’t wait to stub my toe on something.”

Vanitas hits his knee with the water bottle. “That doesn’t work, idiot. I would have been doing it for years if it did.”

“We weren’t physically close to each other for years! You couldn’t test it.”

“Good point. First one to stub a toe and make the other feel it gets to be the true Ventus.” Vanitas smirks at him. Ven puts a hand over his face, but he’s smiling too.

It’ll be fine. Vanitas isn’t going anywhere. Ven will make sure of it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter one this time, but the next is a long one. Thank you to everyone who's commented so far!

Aqua is so very tired. She’s been tired for a very long time and it feels like exhaustion drags at her bones endlessly now. She should sleep, take a break in the relief of unconsciousness, but she  _ can’t _ . Even here in the realm of light, it feels as if the dark pulls at her marrow, urging her to fall apart, fall into its endless embrace. To feel nothing would be such a  _ relief _ , whisper the shadows behind her eyes.

She digs her nails into her palms and refuses to give the darkness any quarter. They’ve won, she’s won, and they’re all free. They’re in the light; they can go  _ home _ . It’s been years and years and finally...

She looks down to where Terra is sleeping beside her. It’s so hard to take in all that’s happened, all the time that’s passed. She draws her hand down his cheek, thumb brushing against the lines that bracket his eyes and his mouth. He looks older in a way that she and Ven have avoided, preserved in places where time barely flows at all.

It’s hard to take it all in. Aqua just wants to go home together and make up for that time.

Terra stirs under her touch and she frowns. He needs to rest, preferably for several days where she can easily check on him and Ven. She keeps her hand to his cheek and his eyes open, blue again, so blue with only the slightest hint of gold around his pupil. It reminds her of a sunrise instead of the dark.

He smiles when he sees it’s her, turning his face into her hand. It makes her cheeks pink and she resists the urge to pinch him and end the moment. “You should be resting,” she admonishes. 

“It’s not easy to here. Aren’t we leaving?” Terra closes his eyes, one hand coming up to cover hers. It’s so warm; she wants them to hold each other. Nothing could get them then.

“Soon. Master Yen Sid was talking with Mickey…” Aqua trails off, looking around their camp. Sora, Riku, and Kairi are sitting together, legs thrown over each other’s and heads close enough for whispers. Donald and Goofy are with them, Donald occasionally throwing remarks that make Sora laugh, maybe empty threats.

The surviving vessels are still lying in a row, she knows most of their hands are bound just in case; she locked several of the chains herself. Master Yen Sid is standing over them, drawing a hand down his beard as he speaks to the magicked book beside him. Notes or his thoughts on how best to help them. She should be with him, finding out what to do for Terra…

Terra squeezes her hand. “Aqua?”

“Just looking for Mickey. Nothing’s wrong.” She gives him a distracted smile and then goes back to surveying. Lea’s friend with the blue hair is leaning back against a couple of their packs, barely conscious by her guess. He tilts his head to speak to the person kneeling beside him and they look up. Lea’s red hair instantly recognizable.

Aqua stiffens. “What is he doing? I told him to stay with Ven!”

Terra sits up immediately, eyes searching for the problem. “Where’s Ven?” Neither of them can fully extinguish the flare of panic that slips into their voices when they have to ask that anymore. He’s young and been hurt so badly and they can’t lose him again.

“Lea was supposed to stay and guard him while he was with Vanitas. I can’t believe he already abandoned him. I’m going to kick his teeth between his-.” Aqua cuts off as Terra grabs her wrist and squeezes  _ hard _ . She looks at him. “Terra, that hurts.”

“Sorry,” he says, grip easing. “Aqua, back up. Did you say Ven was with  _ Vanitas _ ?” Terra’s eyes catch the light and flash gold and she swallows hard. Terra’s eyes are blue, they’re blue, it’s fine. He’s just worried.

She nods. “Ven went for a walk. I thought he was just clearing his head. And then he came back with Vanitas.”

“Unconscious?” Terra’s gaze sweeps around their group, squinting toward the cloaked vessels.

“No. He was letting Vanitas lean on him, talking about him like...like they were friends.” Aqua takes Terra’s hand from her wrist and stands. “I’m going to check on him. I told him not to be alone with that monster.”

Terra looks up at her and something in his expression is...sad. “Has he done anything?”

Aqua nods and then stops and shrugs. “He summoned a bunch of the Unversed, but Ven did...something and it stopped. They were vanishing, returning to Vanitas. Nobody was hurt and he seemed...different. He was still  _ terrible _ , but also...defensive.” She pauses and looks away from Terra. “Ven said...Ven said something about Vanitas being like you.”

“Me?” Terra blinks and then frowns. “Well...I wouldn’t be  _ surprised _ . I don’t remember...a lot, but…” He trails off, rubbing his forehead. “I think Vanitas was a pretty constant thorn in m-his side. Then he...stopped? Sorry, Aqua, it’s all bits and pieces.”

She slowly kneels down next to him. “It’s okay. You don’t have to push yourself.”

He shakes his head, hair swinging around his face. Terra pushes it back in annoyance. “No, there’s something...he did something, I know it. Vanitas needed...more control. Something like that. He was being too wild for Xehanort.”

“He’s a creature of darkness; even Xehanort couldn’t expect something like that to do anything, but attack where ordered.” But  _ that  _ doesn’t sound right and Aqua frowns at herself. Terra’s watching her, waiting for her to continue. She takes a breath. “But, he came from Ven too. Maybe, Ven waking up made him more aggressive? He couldn’t be stopped last time.”

Terra shrugs. “Maybe. Maybe I’ll remember better in a bit. Anyway, Ven…?”

Aqua nods. “He wouldn’t leave Vanitas, so I told Lea to stay and guard him. I should go check on him and make sure nothing’s happened. I’m sure we could hear, but I-.”

“I know,” Terra interrupts. “Help me up.”   
  
“Terra, no, you should be resting.”

Terra stubbornly shakes his head and gets both hands on the ground. “No, I need to see for myself. I’m fine.”

Aqua puts her hands on his shoulders and pushes him down. She frowns at him. “ _ No _ , Terra. I’ll go. You stay here.”

He scowls at her. “You can’t baby me. I’m fine and I need to build my strength back up anyway. You can’t tie me here just because I’m a little shaky.”

“Shaky enough to probably collapse,” she fires back. “You are staying here!”

“He’s my brother too, Aqua! And I have to know if he’s okay!” Terra practically shouts it in her face and she recoils. But with a stubborn set to her chin, she inhales.

And Lea leans in again. She’s so tired of him interrupting her. “Hey, not to intrude on whatever flirting this is, but when are we leaving?”

Terra looks at him in confusion, derailed from arguing. Aqua uses it as a chance to stand up quickly and step back so he can’t use her to help himself up. She faces Lea. “As soon as I check with Mickey. You’re supposed to be with  _ Ven _ .”

Lea rolls his eyes. “Ven’s fine. Vanitas is the one you should be concerned about. And anyway,  _ mom _ , Roxas is over there so the two of them aren’t entirely alone.”

“Roxas is not an adult like you are and I have no idea how strong he is!” Aqua stabs a finger toward Lea. “You are the most irresponsible person I’ve ever met!”

The redhead just scoffs. “Right. Whatever. I’m going to go then before you try to punish me.”

“Wait, take me with you,” Terra says and somehow he’s straightening up from a knee to stand. He sways and then catches his balance. Lea eyes him and glances at Aqua.

He holds both hands up. “No, whatever you two are bickering about, I’m not taking a side. You just let me know when we’re leaving.” Lea strides away before either of them can reply.

Aqua frowns at Terra and crosses her arms over her chest. He frowns back and then starts after Lea. Aqua quickly hurries after him. Before they can get past Lea’s friend, who now looks truly asleep alone against the packs, Mickey appears. They both stop before they bowl their small friend over.

“Terra!” Mickey smiles and takes his hand. “You’re looking better to be up and around.”

Terra colors. “Thank you. How are you?”

“Fine, fine. I can’t wait to get home and tell Minnie and have a nice vacation.” The mouse laughs and Aqua smiles. 

“We were just talking about that actually.” Terra nods to Aqua. “Are we leaving here soon? No one’s very comfortable.”

“Yep! Master Yen Sid is preparing to get all of these poor people moved and then we’ll be off to his Tower. Once everyone’s rested up, then we can all go home.” Mickey sighs. “Finally…”

Terra’s shoulders slump. “It’s been...such a long time. But, thank you, Mickey. For everything you’ve done for us.”

Mickey laughs. “Oh, it was nothing! Aqua, if you could help me with the unconscious ones, we can get out of here faster. Sorry, Terra, but I don’t think you should be hauling people around just yet. Can you let everyone else know that we’ll be going soon?”

“Sure.” Terra turns to look at Aqua and her face falls a little. He smiles slightly. “I’ll wait until you’re finished before I go check on them. Lea’s there.”

Warmth fills her and she reaches out to give his hand a squeeze. He squeezes back and despite all the years, their hands still fit together like they were meant to. 

Mickey’s watching the two of them, smiling, and Aqua can’t help a flush. She lets go and turns to him. “Alright, let’s get them moved. Are we keeping them restrained?”

“For now, yes. We want Ienzo to see them and see how they act when they wake up before we do anything...hasty. Nothing wrong with being a bit cautious!” Mickey bounds ahead and she follows, glancing over her shoulder. Terra’s kneeling down by their packs, waking Lea’s friend. She  _ really _ needs to get his name.

Aqua faces forward again. She’ll do this and then check on Ven with Terra. Master Yen Sid’s Tower, some rest, and then finally...home. She slips her hand into her pocket and wraps her fingers around her Wayfinder. The rest will fall into place somehow.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays and Happy KH3 Release Month!! The hype is real, but I have no idea what effect it's going to have on my writing ability. Fingers crossed it keeps me chugging along, because I really do love this fic. It's like fix-it fic, before the thing even needs the fixing.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading and to all of you that comment and kudos!

Terra would like to say that he’s capable of being graceful. He’ll never be as fast as Ven or have Aqua’s acrobatic skill, but he can still move with graceful purpose.

He feels like a ten ton bag of rocks as his knees hit the ground again, practically falling face first into the pile of packs. This is what he gets after a decade of possession, he guesses. He’ll just have to work to get back the strength he lost.

He glances over his shoulder, but Aqua’s walking toward Master Yen Sid with Mickey. He’s safe from more hovering for a moment. He sighs in relief and turns back to Saïx. Names are easier to recall from the muddled mess of Xehanort’s memories. At least he can seem friendly, but maybe he should properly introduce himself anyway, real first meeting and all. He definitely doesn’t want them to think that he’s anything like Xehanort, even if he half-remembers things...

He’s too tired for all this heavy introspection. He needs to go around and tell everyone to get ready to go and that’s a simple goal to focus on. Terra reaches out and touches Saïx’s shoulder, intent on waking him.

A hand snaps around his wrist and then freezes. Terra stares down at Saix who stares at him, expressionless, but eyes wild for a second before they too drop to neutral. After a moment, he lets go and Terra leans back. “Is there something you need?” Saïx’s voice is as emotionless as his face, but he shifts to sit up straighter, facing Terra head on.

Terra rubs the back of his neck. Ugh, he needs to cut his hair. Even this long is too much a reminder. “We’re going to start getting around to head back. We want to get everyone to actual beds and such, you know?”

Saïx blinks. “Fine. Anything else?”

_Geez, what a brick wall_. Terra shakes his head. “No. Aqua and Mickey are getting everybody unconscious loaded up and then the rest of us can go.”

Blue-green eyes slide away from his for the first time. “Ah, of course. Still restrained?”

“Everybody, but you and me.” Terra frowns. “And V-the new arrival, I guess, but I doubt Aqua will let him on board without something to restrain him.” He shifts around, sitting instead of putting all his weight on his knees. “But, that’ll wait until we talk to them.”

He can feel Saïx look at him again, waiting or studying. It’s unnerving.

So, Terra breaks the tension. He offers a hand. “I never properly introduced myself. I’m Terra.”

Saïx looks at him and the hand and arches an eyebrow. After a moment, he takes the hand with the smallest of smiles. “Isa. You’re different from what I expected.”

“If your point of comparison is Xehanort…” Terra isn't even sure how to finish the thought. He breaks off with a scowl and turns away. “I don’t remember most of it, to be honest with you. So I can’t argue.”

Isa is silent; Terra think it’s probably habit more than anything rude. _How often had_ **_he_ ** _looked at Saix and wondered what little plot he’d have to derail or stop next?_ He shakes the thought away, but the twist in his stomach lingers.

“I, unfortunately, do not have that excuse.” Isa speaks softly, but firmly. “He merely...encouraged the worst of my behavior, made me feel right in what I was thinking. I was not difficult to sway. Even Lea…” His voice changes slightly, but before Terra can pinpoint the emotion, Isa stops talking.

Terra looks around for Lea’s hair, always a spotlight, and can see him at a distance, talking with Master Yen Sid. He thought Lea went back to Ven and Vanitas. Curiosity and concern itches at him, but he told Aqua he’d wait...and he needs the break more than he thought. It’s fine, they’d hear if there were shouts of trouble.

He looks back to Isa who is looking up at the sky. It feels like...he should say something. He was the first puppet, the one Xehanort used to pull everyone else’s strings. Terra inhales and finds that he already has the words he wants. “He was good at that, making it seem like you were doing what you needed to. I’ve never met anybody who could...manipulate people like he could.”

“I fell right for his trap. He built up my ego and played with my frustrations and I...trusted him. And then he used me to almost destroy my friends. All I had left was anger...and it wasn’t enough to stop him.” Terra shakes his head. “It takes someone... _people_ of great will and strength to ignore someone like him. Having support helps too, I think.”

Terra looks over toward the new keyblade wielders, Riku and his friends. They’re all so close as to be practically a pile. “Xehanort had a way...of getting to everyone. If I had spoken to Ven and Aqua honestly, things probably wouldn’t have turned out this way. Xehanort used that against me.”

“I wasn’t looking for a lecture,” Isa interrupts. Terra starts to apologize, but Isa continues. “But...I suppose we both...understand. I’ll keep it in mind.”

Terra smiles slightly. “Give it time and we can prove that we’re not the same as him. I hope, anyway.” His lips twist, self-mocking. He knows he’ll be questioning himself for a long time.

“Everyone has changed.” The way Isa says it has a weight that Terra doesn’t understand, but he nods. It’s a quiet moment, but Terra thinks maybe it could be a companionable one. He closes his eyes and enjoys it.

Right up until the moment that a girl screams.

Terra’s on his feet in an instant. He doesn’t call his keyblade, he doesn’t want to slow down, and charges toward the sound. He can see Aqua running over too, Stormfall in hand, and is glad they’ll be together.

They reach the source at the same time to find a girl pinned to the ground by a Wild Bruiser. The Unversed lifts its other fist to bring down on her and Terra charges.

* * *

 

“Come _on_ , Ven. All I’m asking for is once he feels better. Then it’ll be fine.” Roxas is pleading like a child and Ventus would find it cute if it wasn’t so annoying.

He frowns at Roxas. “Vanitas doesn’t play nice or fair as a fighter. I think a spar with just the two of you is asking for trouble.”

Vanitas, half-asleep on his shoulder and only half-listening, scoffs. “I’m never nice.”

“You’ve never seen me fight,” Roxas counters. “I bet it’d be interesting. We’ve never fought each other unlike you two.”

“Yeah, and you’ll remember that that was almost to the _death_.”

“Oh, please, you’ve sparred since then and it was fine.”

“In Sora’s heart where things were completely safe!” Ventus smacks Roxas’s shoulder. “I’m sure it would be fine, but since he’s sick and I haven’t seen you fight someone not in the middle of a war, I’m saying no.”

Roxas rolls his eyes. “Alright, _Sora_. You’re such a nag. I bet Vanitas couldn’t beat us anyway.”

Vanitas cracks an eye. “I could beat you right now, you little shit. There are exactly one and half people who could beat me.”

Ventus rolls his eyes. “Me and Aqua?”

“You on a good day,” Vanitas agrees. “That’s the half.”  
  
“Yes, I figured _that out_.” Ven considers shoving him over for that. “Why do you want to fight him anyway, Roxas?”

Roxas shrugs. “Fun challenge now that we’re all people? You guys are powerful and I like to push myself. And what else are we really going to have to do for fun until we’re allowed to head out?”

“I’m pretty happy with where I am,” Ventus says. He smiles a little as he feels Vanitas get flustered. Vanitas mentally blocks him for a minute, embarrassed.

“Good for you. You and Axel can be lazy together, sleeping all day when there’s stuff to do.” Roxas twists one of his rings around his finger, fidgeting. “I think first, once we can go places...I really want to go to the beach.”

Ven’s face softens and Vanitas glances at him and Roxas. Vanitas takes a breath. “What happened to-.”

Someone smacks the back of Roxas’s head, making him yelp. He rubs it and looks up. “Xion! What the fuck?”

“You and Axel left me alone with Saïx!” Xion crosses her arms over her chest, frowning at him. “What are you doing all the way over here with Ven? At least sit by me.”

Roxas is quick to wave a hand at the other two. “They’re the ones who set up camp over here once they got back. It’s not _my_ fault.”

Xion looks up, frowning, but her expression clears the second she lays eyes on Ventus’s companion. “Vanitas!” She crosses the distance and throws herself onto him to hug; Ven just manages to extract his arm. “We’ve been so worried about you!”

Vanitas, even more shell-shocked than he was with Roxas, recovers quickly and hugs her back. “Me? You should have been worried about everyone else. Nothing stops me.” He doesn’t even try to keep his voice gruff, happily answering her excitement.

Ven hugs one of his knees, watching them with a smile. Their dark hair is an exact match and the subtle repeated features on both of their face makes them look siblings. He’s so glad they’re both here and mostly okay. It’s honestly more than he hoped once he was freed from Sora’s heart.

“Nothing except Ven,” Xion teases him, pulling back and squinting at his face. “I can’t believe nobody came to wake me up and let me know you were here.” She turns to glare at Roxas who holds his hands up in surrender.

“To be fair, Lea doesn’t know how close you guys are. Roxas only woke up because Lea accidentally woke him.” Ventus scratches the back of his head. “And I figured you guys could use the rest.”

Xion shakes her head. “There’s time to rest later. Are you alright, Vanitas?” She climbs off him, sitting between him and Roxas, but she keeps a grip on one of his hands.

Vanitas shrugs. “Got the flu or some shit, but I’m good.” He looks her over, frowning, and it’s a good distraction from the way Ven can feel his face drop. Yeah, Vanitas is doing just _great_ . “I knew you two would get here eventually, but hell, is he so _pathetic_ that he had to rip everybody out just to stand a fighting chance?”

“Sora? Oh no, he was just determined to set everything right as soon as he could.” Xion smiles, willfully ignoring the jab. “We’re fine, Vanitas. What were you talking about before I interrupted?”

“What we want to do now that this is over and we’re all around.” Roxas leans back on his hands. “Ventus doesn’t think we should spar with Vanitas.”

Xion eyes Vanitas who tips his head and arches an eyebrow. She hums. “I think we should.”

Ven throws his hands up. “What is it with you two?”

“You said yourself you haven’t seen us fight. It would be a fun challenge for us!” Xion’s smile is bright. “I’d like to see how it goes.”

Vanitas looks at Ven, both eyebrows up and not quite smirking. _Well?_ Ven sighs. “Not until he’s feeling better. And then it’s up to Vanitas. I’m not sparring either of you. I’d worry too much.”

“Of course we’ll wait until he’s not sick. That’d be mean to beat him like that.” Xion laughs.

“ _Excuse me?_ ” Vanitas says with offense. “You couldn’t beat me right now even if you both had two keyblades.”

Roxas grins and Xion looks at him, laughing. “I don’t know, Vanitas. We’re pretty strong together. You just haven’t seen.”

“You’re still just little _kids_ who had to learn to use the keyblade on your own. You’re outclassed.” Vanitas glares at her. “I wouldn’t even need a keyblade to beat you.”

“Oh yeah?” Xion says. “Prove it.”

Ven feels the swell of emotion even as the negativity rolls out from behind Vanitas in a wave. The Wild Bruiser leaps out, pounds its chest, and charges her. Xion shrieks in surprise as it scoops her up, but Ven can tell its grip is gentle. Roxas eyes it warily, and gets up to back up a step so he doesn’t get grabbed next.

Vanitas has the Bruiser hold Xion while she wiggles and then pins her to the ground, forcing her to huff out most of her air. She can’t even laugh, but she’s smiling as she kicks at it. The Bruiser lifts its other fist, Vanitas’s pleasure at the teasing and the easy victory is tickling at his senses, and then Terra is there, Ends of the Earth slicing through the Unversed’s arm like butter.

Xion freezes, shocked; Roxas has Oblivion back in hand and looks ready to charge. Ven scrambles to his feet, Vanitas following suit beside him. “Terra, wait!”

Ends of the Earth swings through the body of the Unversed which wavers and vanishes in a cloud of black fire, no real strength given to it. Ven summons Wayward Wind, not wanting to start another fight with his friends. “Terra!”

Terra turns and Aqua is there beside him, bending down to check on Xion. The girl looks at her in confusion and shoves the hand away, scrambling to her feet on her own. No one breathes.

* * *

 

The Unversed is gone in two swings, surprising considering how weak he feels. But then Aqua is next to him and he probably just missed her strikes alongside his. Terra straightens as she bends down to check on the girl. He turns, not going to give Vanitas time to make another and try it again.

Vanitas is standing next to Ven, too close to Ven. He sees Terra glare at him and stares back blankly, helmet reforming from nothing to hide his face. Ven is holding his keyblade in the guard position, but not towards Vanitas; he’s guarding Vanitas from _him_.

Terra frowns. “Are you alright? What was he doing?”

“Messing around!” Ven sounds furious and he cuts a hand through the air. “He wasn’t going to hurt Xion. It was a joke!”

“She was pinned to the ground,” Terra answers. “And she screamed. Cruelty isn’t funny.”

Ven glares at him and Terra takes a step back. “If you would stop assuming things, then you’d know the truth. Xion, you’re fine, right?”

Terra turns to look and the girl nods. “It wasn’t a hard grip. I challenged him, so I started it.”

“Vanitas doesn’t play fair,” Terra replies. “He made you scream.”

“That was my mistake,” she says, firmly. “It was just a surprise. I didn’t mean to scare anyone.” She stares back at him, not giving an inch, no fear to be seen.

Terra breaks off the gaze, looking back to Ven and Vanitas. “A game?”

Ven nods slowly. “They’re friends. He was teasing.”

Vanitas, _teasing_ , and doing so to someone he’s friends with? The idea is foreign, so impossible to comprehend, but as he looks around the group, not a one of them flinches, all on Vanitas’s side. And none of them have any reason to lie.

Ends of the Earth leaves his hand and Terra nods. “My mistake. I don’t want anyone getting hurt. We need to get ready to leave. Master Yen Sid is getting everyone around.” He turns to go and Aqua catches his arm.

He leans on her as they take a few steps away, giving the others space to breathe. Aqua stops and takes his hand. “You see? I don’t know what to think. He could have hurt her; he could be manipulating them all.”

“Or it could be the truth,” Terra says, completing the argument. “And we can’t tell for certain.” He sighs and rubs his forehead. “We have to keep an eye on him, that’s all. He won’t be able to do much without running into one of us.” He’s tired, ready to board the ship and take a proper nap. Even when they do get that far, he’s sure his thoughts will be running in circles too much to let him really sleep.

Xehanort did _something_ . _Something_ happened between Ven and Vanitas. _Something_ has changed. It’s too much to wonder about and no time to dig into it now.

Terra sighs and glances back towards Ven. Ven’s looking their direction and they make eye contact for a moment. Ven’s face shifts, sadly, and then he looks away. The unknown fractures the gap between them, making it even wider. It leaves Terra feeling hollow. All he can cling to is the hope that he can make things right between the three of them again. He broke it and he’s going to fix it.

He looks for Vanitas and finds him a few steps from Ven, talking with the girl. At least, Terra assumes so; he’s still wearing the helmet. She nods to Vanitas and flicks her hand in dismissal of something. Vanitas’s head tilts and he lifts a hand to her shoulder. He squeezes and she smiles and pats his arm. It’s...friendly, entirely commonplace if it wasn’t for _who_ it was.

“Aqua,” Terra says softly. “I think it might just be the truth.”

She’s quiet beside him, watching the same scene. “...I hope so.”

“Hey! Time to go!” Lea has reappeared and he tosses something to Ven before wrapping his arms around the girl’s and Ven’s twin’s shoulders. “Everybody form an orderly line and wait your turn to board the ship of dreams. Next stop: Old Man’s Mystery Tower that has nothing but books and stardust.”


	8. Chapter 8

“I’d rather you end my existence actually. No x-blade merging required, fucking kill me instead.”

Vanitas is not being quiet, loudly declaring his desire for a death sentence as they wait to get on board the gummi ship. He’s still masked, arms crossed, and all  _ but _ giving off little tendrils of annoyance. No Unversed have sprung up yet despite how pissed off he sounds.

Ven is just trying not to laugh at him. His amusement is only annoying Vanitas more, creating a feedback loop between them. Ven bites his lip and somehow manages to keep his voice from cracking into laughter. “It makes the most sense with how many passengers and non-wielders we’ve got to transport.” He wraps the towel Lea gave him better around the ice they conjured.

“That’s  _ their _ fucking problem. I refuse.”

“You refuse?” Ven arches an eyebrow. “How are you getting out of here then? Are you going to click your heels and go soaring through space like before? I  _ still _ don’t understand how you did that, but it looked really stupid.” He lifts the wrapped ice and presses it against the back of Vanitas’s neck. Amazingly, his dark half doesn’t jump or shudder.

Vanitas turns his head slightly to look at him. Ven makes a face at the dark mask, watching his reflection distort on its surface. Vanitas snorts and looks back at the gummi ship. “It was stupid and dangerous, but I wanted to taunt you. It involves a lot of manipulation of dark portals and shields. I can’t do it right now. I’d take a dark portal straight there.”

“And collapse probably,” Ven mutters. “You’re riding on the ship with us. Suck it up and hold this.”

Xion sticks herself between them. “It’ll be time to catch up. It’s fun and you can watch the stars go by.”

Vanitas sighs as he reaches up and takes the compress. “Xion, trust me. This piece of shit is a sad state of fucking affairs. Ask Ven about going out on his keyblade glider.”

She looks at him and Ven grins. “It is better, I won’t argue that. But you’ll need armor of your own before we can try it. For now, we’re going on the gummi ship.”

Xion nods and grabs Vanitas’s free hand. He jumps, but doesn’t yank away. “We’re all riding together, right?” She smiles up at him and Vanitas nods with much less resistance than he was giving Ven.

“I think we’re just waiting for our pilot to give the all clear…” Ven looks at the door. The recovering vessels, Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and Master Yen Sid are all taking the other gummi ship. The rest of them, keyblade wielders all, are supposed to squeeze into this one. Ven’s not even sure who among them is flying. Well, he knows it’s not him or his friends; they’re all used to their gliders, not the controls of a gummi ship.

He glances over his shoulder and Terra and Aqua are a few feet away. Terra’s leaning on her and they look like they’re talking quietly. Ven could be with them. But he turns back and there’s Xion leaning against Vanitas’s arm and Roxas looking around his other side, looking surprised. He wants to be  _ here _ too.

Ven sighs and kicks at the ground. Everybody needs to come to an understanding and start getting along already. It’s kind of up to him to bridge the gap; he needs to find time and soon.

“All aboard~!” The door hissing open is announced by Sora’s cheerful call. He hangs half out the doorway and waves to everyone. “Come on! The sooner we go, the sooner we get back to Yen Sid’s tower for snacks!” He disappears back inside and Roxas, Xion, and Lea hurry in behind him. Vanitas stays put despite Aqua and Terra approaching

Ven puts an arm around his shoulders. “It’ll be fine. It’s safer than anything.”

“Even with  _ him _ flying?”

“Sora’s a great pilot. He’s been doing it for years.” Ven tips his head a little. “You’re going to have to talk to him eventually.”

Vanitas turns his head, clearly looking over his shoulder. “But not yet,” he says shortly and quickly goes in before Terra and Aqua reach them. Ventus sighs and crosses his arms over his chest.

Terra’s hand lands gently on his shoulder. “Everything okay?”

“He’s bitching about not getting to ride on our gliders, which is stupid because I’ve never seen him on one.” Ven rolls his eyes. “I think it’s the confined space or all of us together. He’s not used to crowds.” He looks up at the two of them. “Let him be?”

Aqua puts her hand on his other shoulder. “We’ll be together. There’s nothing to worry about.” She frowns suddenly. “Except your language. Ven, those kids are still so young.”

“If you think Roxas and Xion don’t know  _ swear words _ …” Ven trails into laughter.

She huffs and musses his hair until he ducks away. “I’m going to find soap first thing and teach you all about behaving properly or getting to experience the joy of scrubbing the bathroom.”

Ven blows a raspberry at her and darts for the gummi ship entrance. “Yes,  _ Master Aqua _ .” She sticks her tongue out at him and grinning, he moves the rest of the way inside.

Sora’s gummi ship, it’s hard to think of it any other way, has been modified for as much transport as possible. The hold has benches against the walls and not much else, leaving only the necessary bits for the engines and systems. Usually the bunks are down here, Sora had explained, but they gutted them for this trip. The cockpit is above them, a ladder leading up through a hole in the ceiling.

Lea’s already snagged the end of one of the benches, taking the corner for leaning in, and teasing Roxas by sticking his foot up on the bench to give the blond less room. Roxas shoves it off and kicks him in the ankle for good measure before leaning over and “whispering” an insult about Lea’s size to Xion. She snorts and punches Roxas in the shoulder.

Kairi is across from Lea, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees, and making what sounds like even more jabs. Vanitas, weirdly, is beside her. But Ven can see there’s not much room beside Xion, so he was probably forced. He’s put as much space between himself and Kairi as he can without sitting right next to the door.

Ven plops down beside him and can hear Vanitas exhale sharply. “ _ Finally. _ ”

“Are you not charmed by our company, Vanitas?” That’s Kairi, all sweetness with a sharp smile. “You could ride in the back.”

Ven frowns. “But there isn’t-.”

“Tow cable, back, whichever. It could be arranged.” Kairi grins at both of them and Ven makes a face at her.

He puts a hand on Vanitas’s shoulder. “We’ll be fine. If you need to throw someone out behind the ship, maybe toss Sora out. He’s got a ton of energy and we’d be there even faster.”

Kairi laughs. “You know, he’d  _ agree _ to try it. I’m not sure happy faces from outside run the ship the same.” She stands up and points at Vanitas. “That’s another reason you can ride behind us. I don’t trust you to stop scowling. We don’t need to get stalled in the middle of space.”

“This ship runs on  _ what _ .” Vanitas’s tone is flat, disbelieving.

She just grins at him as Aqua and Terra approach Ven’s other side. “Think happy thoughts!” Kairi jogs up near the ladder, slaps a button, the door closes, and then she climbs up through the hole.

Vanitas’s helmet thumps as he leans back and smacks it against the wall. “This is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever encountered in the entire fucking universe.”

Ven breaks into laughter immediately, pushing at his shoulder so he’ll slide over and his friends will have room to sit down. Roxas is snorting while Xion laughs too; Lea gives a smirk while Aqua just shakes her head.

Sora’s head appears at the top of the ladder, upside down as he looks at them. “Sounds like you’re fueling us up. Everyone ready?” His eyes sweep over the benches and he frowns. “Put your seatbelts on. Nobody needs a concussion because they wanted to be cool during a take-off,  _ Riku _ .”

There’s a muted retort from the cockpit and Sora rolls his eyes. “It’s about two hours from here to Yen Sid’s with all these people. One of us will let you know if it’s safe enough to move around. Until then, seatbelts and happy faces!” He disappears back into the cockpit.

Ven grabs the demanded seatbelt and buckles in. He reaches for Vanitas’s who slaps his hands and does it himself. “I’m not that petty,” he mutters. “And he’s stubborn enough to not move this eyesore until we all comply.”

Quiet settles once everyone’s buckled. Ventus glances between Terra and Aqua and Vanitas, biting his lip and debating. Should he try now? Should he wait until he’s talked with Vanitas about it? Does he want Lea and possibly the others in the cockpit to overhear? Questions swirl and he stares at nothing as he considers them all.

The engines roar to life and Ven jumps, reaching for his keyblade instinctually. Someone catches his hand instead and he blinks the world back into focus. Everyone’s staring at him and Ven flushes. “Sorry,” he mutters.

Vanitas squeezes his hand and lets go. The hand lands back in Ven’s lap and he curls it into a fist. He’s gotta stop zoning out and overthinking. He sighs and slumps into Vanitas’s shoulder, eyes closing. Vanitas says nothing and doesn’t move, but the general sense of warmth between them is comforting all the same.

Someone starts talking quietly, a slightly higher sound over the rumble of the engines, but Ven can’t make out the words. He lets the ebb and flow of his and Vanitas’s emotions lull him, almost easing him into sleep. Vanitas isn’t nearly so relaxed. Ven can feels his tension and hyper-awareness, listening to the sounds of the ship for any problem or issue. He can feel Vanitas counting the seconds, the minutes, doing the math of how much longer he’ll have to endure this, the ticking tension in him and  _ how can Ven be so damn relaxed. Fuck him, asshole. _

Emotions, they both know how to pick them apart and understand the words. Xion and Roxas accused them of being able to read each other’s minds, but it wasn’t anything so refined. They’ve had a lot of practice at picking up subtleties. 

Ven snorts at Vanitas’s simmering at him.  _ Yeah, fuck you too. It’s fine. They know what they’re doing _ . 

Vanitas ignores him.

The minutes pass and nothing explodes and Vanitas seems to grumpily accept that Sora is not about to blow them up. As he relaxes, Ven drifts off more and more. He’s barely conscious when he feels himself list forward and Vanitas grab him, pulling back up to his shoulder. 

Someone laughs and says in a whisper, “I thought Roxas was the only one who’d just drop right to sleep like that.”

“Hey! It wasn’t just being  _ tired _ .”

“You were drooling.”   


“Xion, shut up!”

There’s more laughter and someone pats the top of his head. He should wake up, join them, but he’s tired… A sigh whispers against him, Vanitas, and Ven curls closer. No, he’s going to enjoy this quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've stared at this one in editing for too long, so if feels a little "eh," trust me, I feel it too. Next one though, I'm super excited to get posted.


	9. Chapter 9

Sora likes to hum while he drives, hum and tap his fingers on the controls and bounce a little in his seat. It ranges from annoying to distracting to downright endearing when in the proper mood. Right now, Kairi’s finding it endearing as she watches from her seat, chin on her knees.

It’s a smooth ride, the smoothest she’s probably ever been on, and Sora is clearly enjoying it. There’s no need to fire up the guns or execute dodge rolls to avoid enemy fire. They can just fly back to the Tower. The giddy relief is setting in and it’s hard not to smile stupidly at each other with every moment that passes and reaffirms that they did it, that Xehanort is well and truly dead, and things might be peaceful for more than a couple weeks.

Riku starts humming from the seat beside her, complimenting Sora’s tune with a melody they’ve been going back and forth with for months. She better get a chance to visit this sleeping world of music with them soon or she’s gonna start blasting anything but classical to drown them out. She’s got a laundry list a mile long of things they’re all going to do together and she’s torn on whether or not to make  _ that _ the first. The book  _ is _ in Master Yen Sid’s tower.

Kairi closes her eyes, enjoying the two of them harmonizing for now, just glad that all three of them are here and doing alright. For a while there… No, she’s not thinking about it. She opens her eyes and stands up, not content to stay put if that’s where her mind wants to wander.

Riku and Sora look over, despite the latter driving. “You okay?” Riku asks.

She smiles at him. “Are any of us?” They both make a face. “I’m fine, mostly. I’m going to go check on everybody else. Silence and Axel? It makes me suspicious.”

Sora laughs and Riku’s eyes crinkle up with his smile. “Fair enough,” Riku says. “Let us know if you need anything.” 

Kairi skips over to him and kisses his temple. “Always.” She moves up to give Sora the same before he complains and he wraps an arm around her waist in a squeeze before turning his attention back to their flight path.

She starts down the ladder just in time to hear Sora bet Riku that he can pull off a loop just before landing. She shakes her head, knowing that Riku will do nothing but egg him on, even if he disguises it as admonishments for messing around. She better warn everyone riding with them.

No surprise, they’re all looking at her when she turns around...or the conscious ones are which is really only one. She smiles at Aqua who smiles back. Axel, Roxas, and Xion are all out, a line collapsed on each other up to Axel against the wall. Ven’s still across the aisle, slumped against Vanitas. Terra’s also asleep and she keeps her steps as soft as possible as she creeps up to Aqua. 

Aqua chuckles softly. “Don’t worry about him. He’s a heavy sleeper.” She pats Terra’s shoulder. “We’ll probably be able to dump him in a bed without him even twitching. Everything alright?”

Kairi nods. “We’re making good time. I just wanted to stretch my legs. And give you guys a head’s up that the landing might be...thrilling.”

Aqua’s gaze jumps to the cockpit entrance immediately and she frowns. “Thrilling how…?”

“They like to one-up each other and Sora’s too daring a pilot for his own good. Brace for a roll.” Kairi shakes her head. “I’m sure it’ll be fine, but it’d be a terrible way to wake up.”

“This is why he insists on seatbelts, isn’t it?”

Kairi snorts. “Yeah, and because Donald and Goofy nag him about it all the time. Safety first!” She sings it and waggles a finger and Aqua chuckles again. It takes  _ years _ off her face and Kairi feels lighter. “I can’t believe how many parents Sora has now, but he doesn’t seem bothered at all.”

Aqua hums, her fingers playing with Terra’s hair. “He draws people to him. I can’t imagine he’d hate the attention.”

“No, it’s all the rules that would piss me off.”

Someone else snorts and Kairi looks to the right in surprise. Axel is still asleep and Ven sleeps like Sora does; he can’t hide being awake. Which only leaves the still helmeted Vanitas. He’s not looking their direction, or at least hasn’t bothered to turn his head, but it could only have been him.

Kairi narrows her eyes. Since he came back with Ven, the feeling of darkness pulsing around him has calmed. It spiked when he freaked out, but since then it’s barely felt like anything. It’s...weird, incredibly different from Riku or even Xehanort. It’s all Vanitas’s own and she doesn’t trust the way it can spike and then recede like it’s hardly there at all. If he’s  _ made _ of Ven’s darkness, then he shouldn’t feel so barely there to her senses, so...inconsistent.

Aqua puts a hand on her arm. “Kairi?”

“I didn’t realize he was awake.” Kairi turns back to Aqua. “Is everything okay?”

The older woman nods. “Just fine. It’s been...peaceful; about as calm a trip as we could ask for.”

If there had been any problems, Aqua would have dealt with them and Vanitas would probably be gagged. She doesn’t take bullshit from anybody. Kairi sighs. “I’m glad.  _ Hopefully _ it stays that way.”

“You’re both horrifically unsubtle.” Vanitas’s voice is surprisingly quiet, but is still sneering enough for it to fit fighting in some sort of ridiculous arena.

Kairi turns and crosses her arms over her chest. “I can go back to direct warnings if you’d prefer that. The tow cable would still work.”

Now, he looks her direction, the smooth black surface of that mask hiding features both familiar and alien. “But then you’d disturb everyone else, Princess. And who knows what I’d do before you managed to get me outside. Maybe...rip a hole in the hull.” His voice is flat, uncaring.

And he’s full of bullshit.

She arches an eyebrow. “With Ven in here? Nice bluff.” She steps closer, so she doesn’t have to speak louder and risk waking anyone else. “I don’t know what the deal between you two is, Vanitas, but I know you won’t do a damn thing that’ll risk his neck.”

Kairi stops in front of him. “He cares about you a lot, and so I’m trusting him until you show the rest of us why we should give a damn. So maybe, stop making stupid threats you won’t follow up on.” She reaches out and flicks the center of the mask.

He hisses at her and it vanishes, leaving the silver piece that frames his jaw. Some day, she might get used to seeing Sora’s features all twisted, but not yet. She presses her lips together as he glares up at her, knowing this is just another attempt to get under her skin. The gold eyes are the worst, because it could have been true.  And then they all would have been lost.

Past the glare and Kairi’s gut rejection of his face, she can tell that he looks haggard. Maybe he always does, but right now the exhaustion and pallor combined with the mess of his hair make him look like a exhausted cat, puffed up and hissing because it’s been backed into a corner. The slightly too long canines only add to it as he bares his teeth at her.

The urge to laugh makes her flatten her lips further. He’d be so offended and while hilarious, she’s doesn’t have her phone to get a picture of it. She stares him down, waiting for him to bullshit an argument.

Vanitas looks away first. “You have no idea what I’m capable of,” he mutters, but it sounds like a sad statement of fact rather than a threat.

Kairi sighs. “No, I don’t. Start showing me whatever Ven sees.” She nudges his foot with hers and then moves back up the ship before he can fire back something they’ll both know is a lie.

Something clicks over the floor and Kairi looks back in surprise. It’s another of the creatures, Unversed, the same as Sora was trying to pet back at the Graveyard. Its bright red eyes watch her, frozen for a moment except for its twitching antenna. Then it darts to Vanitas and climbs up his legs. He grumbles and shakes it off, so it climbs onto Ven instead.

Just like before with Sora, it doesn’t attack. It curls up in Ven’s lap, leaving its eyes staring around the hold and the other occupants. Ven curls an unconscious arm around it, muttering in his sleep.

Vanitas stiffens at whatever he says and Kairi sees his cheeks go red. She smirks, opens her mouth, and then Riku is shouting from the cockpit for her to grab onto something. Kairi darts to the sliver of space beside Xion and grabs hold of her. The girl jerks awake and then the whole ship goes nose up.

They all slide into each other, Axel waking with a squawk of confusion. Kairi laughs as she hears Sora whooping in the cockpit, and glances at the other bench. Terra’s barely awake, hanging onto the edge of the bench with the most bemused look on his face, and has a mutual grip with Aqua who is not hiding her smile.

Ventus is still  _ asleep _ , held tightly by Vanitas who looks ready to scream if the way he’s clenching his teeth is any indication. He glances at her just as they go all the way upside down and Kairi grins so hard her cheeks hurt. She can see his twitch in response, but then the ship is leveling out and everyone hits the benches again with a thump.

“Told you!” Sora’s voice carries down to the rest of them and then he jumps down from the cockpit, shaking the floor as he lands. He straightens up. “Thank you for flying Air Sora. Your luggage may have shifted during travel so be cautious as you make your way off the ship.” He gives a little bow.

Riku, climbing down the ladder, kicks him gently in the back. “You’re lucky nobody’s head got busted.”

“He’s right, I think I might have cracked mine for good,” Axel groans.

“Never mind, you’re all good, Sora.” Riku smirks as Kairi giggles. He hits the button to open the door to let them all out. “I’m going to go help King Mickey with the other ship.” A dart of fire just hits the wall instead of Riku’s hair as he hops out. Axel grumbles and Roxas tells him that he’ll get him next time.

Kairi moves to join Sora, leaning against the ladder up, so they’re not blocking the door. He’s watching everyone stand up and stretch, face gone quiet. Kairi leans against his shoulder, not bothering to tease him about how odd it looks to see him doing something other than smiling. They’ve done that  _ more  _ than enough.

Terra and Aqua are first out with Axel not far behind, complaining about the height of the ceiling. Roxas and Xion are whispering about something, but Kairi’s thoughts wander up to the cockpit. She left a couple things up there, she should grab them.

She glances up at Sora and he’s looking between the remaining passengers. Kairi follows his gaze from Roxas and Xion to Ventus and Vanitas. The thought strikes her suddenly about how connected all six of them are. She breaks into a grin and leans up to whisper to him. “Betcha we could all have the  _ best _ slumber party now that we know we’re all hanging out.”

Sora looks down at her, something dancing just beyond comprehension in his eyes, but then they light up. “Oh, we’re so doing that once they’re feeling better. And Riku’s not allowed!”

“Riku’s  _ never _ allowed,” Roxas grumbles from his spot. “Whatever you two are up to, count me out.”

“But it’ll involve all of us….and ice cream!” Sora tries to bargain and Roxas just stares at him.

“You can’t buy me every time with ice cre-.”   
  
Xion stands up and claps her hands. “That sounds great. Just the six of us?”

Sora nods. “Well and Namine, of course. We can’t leave her out.” He starts to count off on his fingers. “That should be everybody. Riku and Lea will just have to have their own sad little party.”

“That’s definitely not happening,” Kairi says. “They can’t stand each other.”

“With Aqua and Terra then. This will be just for the Heart Squad.”

Kairi covers her face. “You cannot call it that.”

“Seconded,” Roxas says, raising his hand. 

“We could do something a little better…”

“Aw come on, even you hate it, Xion?” Sora’s definitely pouting, Kairi doesn’t have to look at him to know that. She shakes her head and looks up through her fingers. Xion has both hands up and is trying to talk Sora down as he gives her his best puppy dog eyes. It’d be more effective if Xion didn’t have the exact same set.

Kairi glances at the so far silent Vanitas. He’s...watching, expression neutral. Ven, beside him, yawns and rubs his eyes. He blinks, takes in the scene and then leans against Vanitas. Clearly, he’s not bothered by the whole scene, or even surprised.

If...Ven was in Sora’s heart for ten years, then Vanitas was too. Kairi would expect that to soften him, but all his recent actions… She frowns and covers it with a hand so no one questions her. She’ll have to ask Ven...or maybe he’ll tell them. It seems like pretty much everybody is on edge about Vanitas.

Even Sora had been worried after they helped escort him back.

_ “At first I thought he was my darkness...like when I’ve slipped into anti-form.” Sora’s voice is soft as they drop back onto the cushions they’d claimed to relax on. It’s clear he doesn’t want Donald and Goofy to overhear. _

_ Kairi leans against him, winding their fingers together. “But…” _

_ Sora shoves a hand through his hair. “But obviously he’s not. Once he showed up, you know physically, and started trying to talk to Ven through me, I knew he was something else entirely. Of course then he had my face and that was even  _ **_more_ ** _ confusing.” _

_ “He mostly mouthed off to me and Axel when we ran into him. Nothing too bad, but he’s a huge jerk and summons his own monsters. Sounds pretty dangerous.” Kairi is glad that she and Namine have things pretty simple. Sora’s had a whole host of face-swaps and doubles to deal with and it’s obvious that it’s worn him out. Vanitas is just the worst of it, all the creeping thoughts they fight back daily. _

_ “He’s a jerk,” Sora says firmly. “But there’s something...Ven knows him better. When he was still with me and I saw Vanitas...it made me sad. I don’t know what happened between them. I want to trust him.” _

_ Of course he does. Kairi sighs. “We trust Ven. Vanitas has to prove himself.” _

_ Sora hums agreement and they lapse into silence. _

Even now, as Sora messes around with Roxas, their hands locked together as they try to knock the other over and argue about team names, she can tell he’s very aware of Vanitas being nearby. But it seems like he’s the only one. Xion’s backed up to be beside him and Ven, and Roxas’s whole attention is on his other.

Not for the first time, Kairi wonders what happened in Sora’s heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Kairi is super fun, god I love her.
> 
> Only a couple more days for us NA folks. I'm going to die. :D


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the big chapter 10. How have I made it this far? The desire to see this idea is just that strong, I guess. And to have SO MANY people who are reading and commenting and subscribing and enjoying it is extra fuel on the fire. <33

This is probably a dream.

Reality is not so kind as to let Vanitas be together, physically, with his other half and the only two kids he’s ever really liked. Roxas and Xion being alive is not an impossibility, but that he can be here with them? That was never truly in the cards; not since he woke up to his master’s smile and a black coat in his hands.

So it’s a dream and a surprisingly decent one. Usually, the nightmare elements like being sick and surrounded by people who would kill him would be the focus, with the ache of wishing he was back with people who gave a shit about him the backdrop. Instead, he’s getting to experience what it would be like to see them again, to have a tiny shred of hope that he might get to be free.

It’s really going to suck when he wakes up. It’ll be painful to return to the foggy haze and constant anger, of fighting every moment to feel something again. He’ll deal, he’s dealt with worse.

The solid thud of metal flooring being smacked into breaks him out of his thoughts. Vanitas tips his head slightly, a motion barely perceptible, and looks down at the small floor space between the benches. Roxas has been pinned by Sora, face pressed into the floor. He grumbles and tries to buck his other off, but Sora just rides him out.

They’re idiots. He thinks it with a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. He’s not often fond of things that aren’t Ventus. But he is. He’s fond of watching these idiots roll around and act like morons.

Ven laughs at them, and Vanitas desperately wants this to be reality. It could be; he never dreams of something this good. He doesn’t get to have dreams where he has Ventus around like before. He wants it to be true. He wants to be  _ here _ . But that his master could be gone for good? Impossible. And yet...these lights have pulled off the impossible, haven’t they?

He keeps his face schooled to impassivity automatically. The desperation in his thoughts is for him alone, not even this small group. For all that it’s people he knows, the princess and her knight are not  _ known _ . He can feel her already looking at him.

And how he hated her looking at him even under the mask. Her eyes had burned, her light had burned, and the darkness inside him wanted to devour her because she was  _ light. _ But not his light and that she could be so bright, but not  _ Ventus _ had made him want to rip her to pieces. He would have been a fool to try it, even in anger he could see that. So he had mocked her and the tall fire wielder and fled before he gave in to any of the emotions roiling under his skin.

Now, she stands there studying him and he wants her to leave him alone. He wants them all to leave him alone, but her eyes feel too bright, too sharp, and he admires that she doesn’t let anyone scare her. She turns and climbs the ladder and Vanitas is able to stop watching her from the corner of his eye, waiting for her to move.

Ventus shifts against him, sitting up, and the need to hold him, keep him close is strong. He doesn’t want to be separated from him ever again, but he knows it’s inevitable. Their promises to each other, made in whispers in a safe place they couldn’t imagine, mean nothing now. He can only hang onto Ventus for a little while.

But even the shortest time means so much. With Ventus close enough to touch, everything inside him feels calmer. He can think and feel without it all be overwhelming, without needing to be blocked from his emotions in a dark fog with only anger to guide him. With Ventus, things don’t hurt, the constant ache in his center easing off to warmth.

Vanitas isn’t the only one who feels it if the way Ventus keeps contact is any indication, a hand resting on his arm or leg, their fingers intertwining. Every beat of their hearts a soft cry,  _ I missed you, I missed you _ . He wants to bury himself in Ventus until he wakes up, to have something to hold onto. Vanitas squeezes Ventus’s hand and sighs softly when Ventus squeezes back.

“What do you think, Vanitas?” Xion’s voice is light, different from before when her own right to exist weighed on her. She’s smiling at him and he can’t help but let his lips twitch up in response.

“What do I think about what?”

“The Heart Squad or the...Roxas, what did you say?” Xion looks over at Roxas, who has pulled himself onto the opposite bench.

“I said, I don’t want a stupid team name.” Roxas crosses his arms over his chest and then grunts as Sora leans into him. 

“The Lonely Hearts Club, Xion,” Sora says, grinning. His eyes flick to Vanitas and away, and Vanitas does him the favor and looks at Xion instead.

“I agree with Roxas. This is stupid.”

Xion flaps her hand at him. “You two are no fun. Ven, what do you think?”

Ventus shrugs. “Lonely Hearts Club is a little...depressing, but it’s better than the other option.”

“We don’t let Ventus name things,” Vanitas says flatly. “Not after  _ Monotrucker _ ,” he hisses it.

Roxas smirks. “Is that the one you hate the most? Not Yellow Mustard or Blue Sea Salt?”

Ventus is laughing and Vanitas would dump him off the bench if he felt like disengaging their hands. “Monotrucker is absolutely the stupidest one. Ventus’s vote doesn’t count for anything.”

“Guess that means I get to decide!” Xion claps her hands together and then sits down on Sora’s other side. Sora is looking between them, confused but pleased by the comfortable air. The tension thick at the back of Vanitas’s mind is the only barrier and it’s just for him.

Xion hums. “Maybe we should save it for the party. That way we have more time to decide. I need to brainstorm.”

Roxas reaches over Sora and hits her in the arm. “You're going to come up with something so stupid.”

“Sure am!”

Ventus shakes his head. “I look forward to hearing it, but...don’t you guys want to go? I’m starving.”

Roxas and Xion shrug, and that stupid fondness rises in Vanitas again. He’s so...happy that they get this chance to be themselves. Sora hooks Roxas and Xion around their waists and gets all three of them standing. “Ven’s right. I’m starving. Let’s get off of here and raid the kitchen! Kairi, hurry up!”

“I’m coming! Keep your pants on.” Kairi drops something down the ladder and then starts climbing down. “You and Riku both left stuff in the cockpit. Sorry that I wanted to grab it for you.”

Sora hops over to her and scoops up her bag. “You’re forgiven.” He lets her hit land and then grins at everyone still in the ship. Vanitas sees that same flicker as blue eyes pass over him and he looks away. “Come on!” He and the princess climb out and Vanitas relaxes slightly. Ventus is right that he’ll have to talk to Sora eventually, but not  _ yet _ , not with an audience.

He can feel Ventus looking at him with another conversation in mind and too much concern, Xion and Roxas bickering about silly names in the background, and suddenly, Vanitas needs actual air. Wherever they are, whatever happens, he wants to be under the stars. Ven straightens up, feeling his tension, and Vanitas takes the chance to snap the buckle open and stride out of the ship.

It’s a dusky purple twilight outside the godforsaken gummi ship and Vanitas inhales deeply. He ignores the obvious path leading up to the crooked tower and walks away from the ship and the people. Their voices are easy to ignore as he walks past shrubs and bushes until he reaches the edge of the land.

Clouds fill the air below, hiding whatever might be beyond. Vanitas gives it only a glance before looking up. The purple twilight darkens to a deep blue, a perfect backdrop for all the stars above. Vanitas breathes in and lets the quiet cold of the stars be the only thing he feels. It was the best way he learned to control himself years ago, when all he had was the empty wasteland and the graveyard and the sky.

The stars watched everything below, unmoved, unchanged, and he had wanted  _ desperately _ for that to be him. He wanted to stop feeling, to be at peace, for everything to stop hurting… So in those hours where he was alone, he watched the stars and nothing but the stars, and let that cold detachment fill him.

He shoves out everything else, barely aware of the small Floods and nervous Scrappers clinging around his feet. They won’t go anywhere, he’ll take care of it. He just needs a moment of nothing where he can get himself back in control. He can’t lean on Ventus. Dream or….well, probably not, Ventus has his friends and things to do besides constantly stay together and act as Vanitas’s personal emotional safety net.

He needs to control himself. Prove that he knows what he’s doing and that maybe... he’d like to do something other than be his master’s tool. It’s a stupid little feeling, but he thought that about the soft feeling he held so long for Ventus. To let the feelings grow...it’s only safe if he’s well and truly free of his master. Hope hurts the very most as it claws its way into his chest.

Vanitas exhales and can feel the coldness through him, the clarity it brings. His master broke something in his grasping for more of Vanitas’s strings. He needs to get it fixed before it spills out and ruins this tenuous peace Ventus has bought him.

One of his wayward emotions hooks its claws into his clothes, climbing up to his shoulder, and he rubs its head. “Give me a minute. I know this isn’t where you’re supposed to be.”

Meditation isn’t something he was ever formally taught, but he picked up something similar in his search for control and then Ventus taught him the formalities while they were recovering. Now, Vanitas closes his eyes, inhales, and uses the emotionless clarity to fall deep into himself. The cold continues, grows deeper, and he knows the darkness is around him, brushing over his form with tendrils that could almost be caressing. 

When he opens his eyes, he’s standing on a platform, stained glass and barely lit from within. His heart is ragged, shards of glass frozen in the air and scattered out into the dark like a comet trailing dust. Most of it is dark, barely distinguishable from the void around them. The most solid pieces not covered in darkness show several icons, the things he treasures, and only here will he admit it.

One, he hasn’t seen before and he can’t help but smile when he notices it. A seashell and a bar of ice cream rest against each other, tinted a nice orange. Stupid kids, he should have known they’d be here. Ventus will give him even more shit about it. Vanitas circles around it as he approaches what he always wants to see here.

A wayfinder in bright green is closest to the edge and a glowing white chain connects to the edge of the platform and leads away into the dark. Vanitas walks past the wayfinder and to the chain, reaching out to hold one of the links. It warms under his touch, light going grey as the darkness from him feeds into it. It stays warm though and he sighs. _We’ll go together_. _Always_ _together_.

Vanitas lets go of the chain and looks back at the rest of his heart. It’s...no worse than usual and he frowns. There’s  _ something _ he needs to patch up, but where is it? He walks the edge of the platform, looking for anything out of place, cracks expanding or pieces falling into the dark. It’s all still suspended, all frozen as it has been for more than a decade.

“Maybe I was wrong...maybe it is a stupid flu virus…” Vanitas shoves a hand through his hair with a sigh. “Getting all worked up over nothing. I’m better than this, getting lost in my stupid emotions.” Overwhelming in their intensity after Xehanort’s shrouding, he keeps drowning in them and then an actual honest-to-fuck illness on top of it? He’s a fucking mess, but maybe there’s nothing to worry about.

He can get through a cold and get himself back under control. And then, he can actually do all the things he and Ventus talked about. Starting with a long list of apologies.

“Ugh, maybe I’ll play at being sick a little longer.”

Vanitas crosses back over to the whole and uncovered parts of his heart, where he refuses to let his darkness reach. The soft light warms him and he lets it fill him before he prepares to resurface. He reaches out to the chain again and that’s when he notices it.

All up the pillar are cracks, even on this whole side. Large cracks break the stability of the pillar and as he stares down at it, he watches a bit of it crumble, turning to dust and trailing away into the void.

He’s not sick.

He’s destabilizing.

His joke to Ventus, his deflection, is true.

Panic floods him and stupidly, he reaches out to the darkness all around and tries to pull it back into the pillar, to fill in the cracks. It moves under his command, but as it tries to work its way into the pillar, he chokes. Darkness overflows from his mouth and he gags, falling to his knees.

_ No. No, I fought  _ **_everything_ ** _ to be here. This can’t be happening. _

He tries again and gags further. His vision goes blurry and Vanitas would swear that his hands waver out of shape for a moment.  _ It’s not real _ .  _ Calm down. _

He can’t fix this. He can’t wait this out.

He’s going to disappear.

Darkness drips all around him and he can’t make use of it. He’s doomed to rejoin it and become nothing.

Vanitas forces himself back away from his heart, wanting to escape from the panic. He gasps in a breath and stares down at his hands and the purple-gold clouds below him. He can’t think. He shoves the panic out, Unversed dropping from his shadow in groups. They skitter and cling, and the panic doesn’t lessen.

He can feel the darkness building in the back of his throat and knows that he’s not going to be able to stop it. He’s falling apart, he’s  _ dying _ .

_ Make it stop, make it stop, make it  _ **_stop!_ **

There’s a roar in his ears as he reaches deeper and deeper, scraping the bottom of his emotions and shoving them all out. It hurts and yet  _ more _ floods him and it’s not just  _ his _ emotions.

Vanitas whirls around and Ventus is trying to shove through the crowd of his emotions. He sees Vanitas looking at him and shouts something, but all Vanitas can hear is the roar of the wind over the wasteland.

_ Now that my body is about to perish, you and I will have to join together! _

**_No. I won’t do that, not to him, never again._ **

Vanitas turns away and for one wild moment, he almost leaps into the cloud-filled void.

But the roar in his ears gets even louder, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. His head is spinning and he can’t think, feels too much-.

And then everything goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some Vanitas perspective. I was going to do this the chapter before but then I had the dumb thought of how nice it'd be to have it be on 10. Good round numbers.
> 
> Happy KH3 Release, by the way! I hope everyone's having a good time. I'm nowhere close to beating it. So, let's all be good to our fellow readers and leave no spoilers in the comments. I'll link my social after I beat the game so anyone who wants can come scream with me!


	11. Chapter 11

Master Yen Sid’s tower is quiet and serene, an impressive feat for a place capable of chaos at a moment’s notice. Every room breathes with magic and anything anyone could want is but a wish away. A polite wish, mind, because magic does not appreciate being rudely ordered around. Everyone’s wishes right now are polite as can be and rather simple all told. Warm food, beds, peace and safety, it does not take much for the heroes of light to be happy for an evening.

Of course, Ventus’s biggest wish right now is beyond even the tower and Master Yen Sid’s magic.

He shoves pieces of his dinner around his plate and looks up, for what feels like the millionth time, to see if Vanitas has moved. He has not and Ventus scowls down at his plate. This shouldn’t be happening; he should be _okay_.

Vanitas is laid out on the bed, covered with two blankets, and giving off the illusion of just being asleep. Ventus would love to believe it, but he can see too many details from his hours of checking. The sweat that keeps beading on Vanitas’s brow and the way he shudders, like he’s cold, those are regular symptoms of someone with the flu; they’re nothing to worry about.

The worst is the way Vanitas’s jaw is locked and there’s something black creeping from the corner of his mouth. The worst is that Ventus can feel nothing while Vanitas is unconscious, that all he has is a vivid recall of Vanitas on the edge of the world, a hair’s breadth from the void with eyes wild, and the way he had suddenly crumpled to the ground, emotions cut off like a signal gone dead.

For one horrible moment, Ventus had thought he was gone, truly gone. The disappearing Unversed had blended together into a mess of smoke and when he got his hands on Vanitas, Ventus thought he was crumbling too. His throat feels tight just remembering and he sets the plate aside.

Vanitas is still as whole as he was before, darkness wrapped around the shard of a heart, and physically he’s still holding together. After that horrible moment, when there was relief to find Vanitas’s pulse, and panic could be shoved away, Sora had helped bring Vanitas into the tower as quick as he could walk. Sora would have flown if Ven had asked.

_“He’s sick, right? It’ll be okay, Ven! We’ll get him fixed right up. I mean, Yen Sid and Mickey are here. Aqua’s got the most powerful magic like ever; not to mention what Riku can do.” Sora’s smile was very gentle and still Ven had wanted to yell at him for it. What does Sora know about this? What do_ **_any_ ** _of them know about this?_

_But it’s not blind faith in his friends, Ven concluded after a moment’s thought. He included Riku because Riku used the dark all the time. Why couldn’t he help Aqua figure out something to help Vanitas._

_Ventus inhaled and nodded. “Yeah, thanks, Sora.”_

_Sora had hugged him tight for a moment. “It’s what friends do. I’ll let everybody know where you’re at.”_

Ven hugs himself now, alone in the room with Vanitas. There had been a small parade of visitors: Master Yen Sid and Mickey and Aqua and Riku and Kairi. They’d all wanted to check on him or the situation or bring him something to eat. He really couldn’t ask for better friends.

A soft knock on the door makes Ventus tense anyway. If it’s someone coming in to lecture him about eating and resting, then he’s going to have to argue and he’s too tired for that. Surprisingly, whoever it is doesn’t immediately push the door open. They knock again and then call, “Ven?”

He stands up when he recognizes Terra’s voice, swinging the door open and grabbing him in a hug before Terra can move or say anything. Terra stiffens and then hugs him back, gently, not like the bear hugs of before. But it’s still Terra and he moves them into the room and shuts the door behind him.

Ven pulls himself off and rubs his eyes. “Hey, Terra.”

“I was going to ask how you’re doing, but I think that answers that. Mind if I sit down? My legs are killing me.” Terra motions to the chair and Ven nods. He sits on the edge of Vanitas’s bed as Terra settles with a groan. “I feel more overcooked than Aqua’s noodles.”

It brings a smile to Ven’s face. “Good thing the tower cooked dinner instead.”

“We’ll save that surprise for when the new kids think it’ll be nice to accept her cooking.” Terra leans back, arms crossed loosely over his chest and it’s _almost_ like being home again. Ventus can’t wait until they can go home, all of them, together. His hand settles on Vanitas’s under the blankets.

Terra clears his throat, softly. “I know we’re all tired and worn out, but can we talk, Ven?” He’s looking at his lap.

“Yeah, Terra. I could talk all night with you guys.”

Terra’s lips quirk. “So you and Aqua keep saying.” He unfolds his arms and squeezes his hands together. “This isn’t a fun conversation. I…” His voice falters.

It used to be that Ven was happy to jump in, chattering about anything he could think of just because Terra and Aqua and Master Eraqus listened. Now though, he waits, not wanting to derail or overtake; Terra will say it when he’s ready.

Terra presses his knuckles to his forehead, takes a deep breath, holds it, and then exhales. He does it again and then a third time. Steadier, his hands go back to his lap and he looks up. “I only remember pieces of being Xehanort. So I was...hoping we could talk about Vanitas. I want to help, but I can’t...remember. And seeing you and him, and how he was with the other kids… I want to know what happened. What changed?”

Ven looks at him in surprise. He didn’t think Terra remembered _anything,_ that the past decade had been nothing but a blank or of darkness. That he remembers and wants to help Vanitas...Xehanort _did_ do something. Maybe he’s jumping to conclusions, but...it scares him to try and imagine what could have happened. He inhales and exhales, the same meditation technique Terra use a moment ago, and then nods.

“Yeah, I can’t...explain everything. I won’t talk about things Vanitas isn’t comfortable with without him conscious, but...I wanted to start explaining with you and Aqua.” Ven presses his lips together. “I spent a lot of time sleeping while in Sora’s heart, especially at first. But when I was awake...I wasn’t alone.”

“Sora was young and had no idea about everything, about darkness and hearts, so it wasn’t him. Instead, it was Vanitas, I guess he got pulled along when my heart came to Sora for help.” Ventus shrugs. “We were both seriously hurt and too weak to call keyblades then, so it turned into stupid arguments. The same stuff as before, blah blah darkness, blah blah x-blade.” He waves a hand, tired just remembering it. “I told him to shut up, that it didn’t _matter_ since we both were here and couldn’t do anything.”

“He got angry one time or already was angry and I woke up and he...exploded. I knew he was looking for a fight the second I saw him and I told him to stuff it, that I was tired of him constantly harping on me about destiny and our making.”

It’s so easy to recall the beach and the waves and Vanitas, furious and pale and gold eyes glaring. Ven had been so tired of it and told him off, told him to go away, and then Vanitas had lunged.

“We had a real fight, still no keyblades, but…” Ven rubs his cheek and laughs a little. “He was trying to give me a hell of a broken nose.” He holds that hand up before Terra can comment. “I was giving as good as he was. I was angry too, so sick of him and everything he’d done and not knowing if you and Aqua were alright. We really had it out.”

“We only stopped because we were both out of breath and he pinned me to ground. I was waiting for him to start choking me or something, but he just started...crying.”

_Bruises could already be felt forming and he couldn’t get Vanitas off of him, couldn’t catch his breath. Dark-gloved hands had gripped the front of his clothes and slammed his back into the sand one more time. They had both stopped shouting as they wrestled each other over the ground and now Vanitas squeezes the fabric hard enough to tear._

_Ven waits for the hands to move to his throat, to find out if Vanitas really can kill him here. He glares up, defiant, but Vanitas curls forward, shoulders shaking. Ven only recognizes the tears once they land on him and he can’t think of a damn reason why something like Vanitas should ever know how to cry._

“It didn’t explain anything, but after that I couldn’t think of him as just some monster that Xehanort made out of my darkness. I tried actually talking to him. It didn’t really _work_ right away, but what else was I going to do? Sora’s heart didn’t come with a lot of entertainment.” Ven shrugs and puts his hand back over the lump of Vanitas’s. “He was on his own with nobody but Xehanort for _four years_.”

And in his opinion, that’s all the reason needed to give Vanitas another chance, once he showed that he didn’t mindlessly agree with his old master.

There’s more, so much more, but some of it is so personal, so painful, that he can’t talk about it. Not on his own, not without Vanitas to tell him when it’s too far. Ventus exhales and ruffles his hair up. “So, yeah, that’s mostly what happened.” And now it feels like he’s sitting on pins and needles, waiting to hear what Terra thinks. He’d wanted so many times to ask Terra and Aqua what they thought about Vanitas, what they’d do, and would they ever forgive him? And now he’s sitting here, finally so close to an answer.

Terra leans back, making the chair creak. His arms are crossed again and he taps his fingers, thinking. “It was just the two of you for...how long?”

“Ah, about ten years? Roxas and Xion only showed up after Destiny Islands fell when Sora was fourteen. Things got...even more complicated after that.” To put it _simply_.

“But before that, in those ten years, it was just you two, arguing and fighting and talking. Man, that sounds like a nightmare.” Terra shakes his head. “But, like I said, he seems different with you guys. Especially with the girl…”

“Xion,” Ven fills in.

“Xion, he was checking on her after I...intervened.” Terra shifts awkwardly in his seat. “It’s already really different from everything I knew...and everything Master Xehanort lied to me about.”

Ven looks away. It hurts still, all the time, and it’s like the wounds are still fresh. He can’t even think of a thing to say, not without Aqua there too.

Terra hums and then shrugs. “Well...I look forward to seeing him act like the person you know, Ven.” He reaches out and ruffles Ven’s hair. Ven swats his hand away, but he’s smiling. “I think I’m officially the last person in line to deserve to get high and mighty about Xehanort manipulating them.”

He leans back, rubbing a shoulder. “Light knows four years with no other influence would make any of us act like a monster.” Terra sighs. “I’m sorry for assuming things about him.”

“It’s okay, really. You only know what he did before.” Ven holds up a placating hand. “I hadn’t explained and he really was an asshole back then. Trust me, he definitely owes you guys an apology for what he did.”

Terra’s lips press together. “He’s not the only one.”

Ven stands up and hugs him again. “Apologies can happen whenever. I’m really glad you’re both okay.” _At least...partially_.

Terra hugs him back and this time, it’s a real squeeze. “Me too. I love you guys.”

“Love you too, Terra.” Ven holds on, so glad to be with family again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I beat KH3! I have a lot of feelings! I wanna write a bunch of oneshots/fics! Gotta pace myself.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's commented and read this fic! There's been a lot of you since 3's release and it's really incredible to see everyone jumping on this little train. If you wanna chat about spoilers, hit me up over on http://bookwormally.tumblr.com 
> 
> Let's keep comments spoiler free for at least another week! Thanks you guys!


	12. Chapter 12

The hall is quiet when Terra excuses himself, carefully shutting the bedroom door so it doesn’t slam. He’s worn out, ready for a nice long sleep, but not entirely sure he can get back to his room on his own. He’s not certain if he’s more physically or emotionally tired; both are really dragging him down.

He leans against the wall and rubs his face, trying to rub encouragement to move in at the same time. He can’t do anything before he rests, and with a number of things he needs to do, he needs to rest quickly. He sighs and drops his hands at his sides. _Move_.

Terra pushes carefully off the wall and stands straight. His lips twitch as he realizes that he’s depending on nothing but his will again. He rubs his shoulder, the sore muscles. “Guess that’s one thing I won’t have to build back up.” He takes a couple steps down the hall, slow but steady, pausing only when he reaches the stairs.

He is too tired for stairs.

With another sigh, he leans against the wall, debating what to do. He could just sleep on the floor. Someone would find him and help him to bed eventually. It would be a smack to his pride if it was one of the kids, but he’s had worse. Or maybe if he asks, the tower will carry him up a floor to his room.

Terra eyes the wall and stairwell. Before he can formulate the question, voices carry up the stairs to him.

“-went to talk to him, but I would prefer someone be there once he’s done.”

“I really think you’re worrying too much, but I can sit there for a little while. I want to talk with Ven anyway.”

“You’ve only seen a little of what he’s like. I know things have changed, but...he’s not stable. You’ve seen the swarms.”

“Aqua…”

“ _Please_ , Sora. Let me worry about his security, at least until we know for certain.”

“Alright, but only to help you sleep better. Yen Sid already spelled the room to keep everything inside and under his observation.”

Aqua’s laugh is soft, but still brings a smile to Terra’s face. “I’m surprised you were paying that much attention to his work.”

“I was curious about what he was doing! You and Donald, geez.” Sora’s huffy tone reminds Terra so much of Ven that he has to chuckle.

It’ll reveal his presence and he hates eavesdropping anyway. He leans off the wall and looks down the stairs. “Hey you two, looking for me?”

Aqua and Sora both look up and smile. Sora bounds up several stairs and onto the landing, nimbly avoiding Terra. “Not me! I’m looking for Ven. He still in their room?”

Terra nods and Sora gives him a thumbs up. “Cool. Later!” He hurries down the hall, humming under his breath.

Aqua steps onto the landing, already reaching for Terra’s shoulder. “Everything alright?” Her fingers squeeze and he slumps a little.

“I’m exhausted. I was debating taking a nap on the floor until someone came by.” Terra grins. “Yet again, you save my dignity.”

“Terra, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I don’t think either of us have any dignity in front of the new keyblade wielders.” Aqua’s smile makes his heart turn over.

He wraps an arm around her. “I know that’s not true. They look up to you, _Master Aqua_.” He keeps his voice light, teasing, and she doesn’t tense. “I bet they’ll be begging for strategy lessons.”

Aqua rolls her eyes. “Magic lessons, glider lessons, _how did you do that cool barrier thing_ lessons. I think Sora might be more curious than Ven about everything he’s seen me do.”

“And isn’t that saying something. You remember when he first saw you shooting magic midair?”

“He almost ripped my arm off, trying to get me to explain.” Aqua laughs and wraps her arms around his back. “But he wouldn’t stop asking to let me actually talk.”

Terra chuckles back. “And now there’s a whole _pack_ of them.”

Aqua drops her head onto his shoulder with a groan. “You better heal and train quickly, Terra. I can’t take them all on my own.”

“I’ll do my very best,” he promises, voice softer. “There’s nothing more I’d like to do than help you.”

She looks up, eyes shining a little, tears maybe not quite falling. “Whatever we do, I want it to be together. You and me, and Ven too.”

“Me too.” Terra puts their foreheads together. “The first thing...is to go home.”

“No,” Aqua says, surprisingly fierce. Terra leans back and looks at her in surprise, worry beginning to draw his stomach tight. She smiles and pokes his cheek. “The _first thing_ is to go get some sleep. Both of us.”

He laughs in relief. “Right, perfect plan. Help me there?”

“I’m certainly not leaving you to nap on the floor.” Aqua shifts around until he can lean on her and continue up the stairs.

* * *

 

Ventus is honestly considering wiggling under the blankets and going to sleep with Vanitas. He’ll know if Vanitas starts moving around or thrashing and quite frankly, he needs the mental break. Terra’s gone to rest too and he’s sure Aqua will be with him. Rest is exactly what they all need.

He’s about to pull the blankets back, when someone knocks on the door. It’s a cheerful little pattern and then the door swings open before he can say anything. Sora sticks his head in, polite enough to wait there for a response. “Hey, Ven. You up for some company?”

_Not really_. But there’s something in Sora’s face that says this is more than just a little boredom-driven visit. Ven nods, then kicks his shoes off and climbs under the blankets anyway. Sora’s sure not going to care enough to comment. He flips the blankets over his legs and leans back against the headboard.

Sora spins the chair around and sits on it backwards, leaning his arms on the back. His chin goes on his arms and his eyes close. He sighs and then sits there, quietly.

Ven blinks and waits for Sora to say or do anything. Nothing happens for a minute, two, and Ven shifts in place. Finally, he clears his throat. “Not that I’m opposed to you hanging around, Sora, but did you need something?”

“Hm?” Sora opens one eye to peek at him. “Oh! Yeah, kinda, but it’s nice to have the quiet.” He shrugs and then scratches a hand through his hair. “It’s been kinda nonstop. Sorry, I should have said something before practically falling asleep on you.”

“It’s fine. I was going to crash soon too.” Ven draws his knees up and hugs them. “But...come on, you could go sleep on Riku and Kairi if some quiet was all you wanted. You guys were _out_ back at the graveyard.”

Sora snorts. “Yeah, they’ll tell you I sleep anywhere. But really, as long as we’re together, none of us really care where we’re sleeping.” He rocks forward slightly, tipping the chair. He rocks it back, moving it just so so it doesn’t slam. “The tower even gave us a bed big enough for all of us, including _Riku_.”

Ven laughs. “He’s going to know you’re making fun of him again.”

“Good.” Sora sticks his tongue out.

Ven puts his chin on his knees. “So you’ve got a big-ass bed and two people who’d love to share it. What’s up?”

Sora sets the chair back on all four feet and then drops his head onto his arms, hiding his face. He takes a breath and then looks up. His face is serious, drawn, a boy soldier who’s seen too much and Ven wishes he could take it away. He and Aqua and Terra should have never let this happen. For all that he looks no older than Sora, he feels every year between them.

But Sora doesn’t notice his sorrow or ignores it. “Do you think this is all really over? That he doesn’t have _another_ back-up plan?”

For one stupid moment, Ven doesn’t process the question. He was expecting more questions about Vanitas and their time in Sora’s heart or even Vanitas’s face. He even thinks that Sora _means_ Vanitas and is about to say it’d be an idiotic plan to literally pull himself apart, but then his brain kicks in.

“Xehanort? No, I think we got him for good this time.” Ven hugs his knees and looks away from the lines Sora’s frown is pressing into his face. It looks _wrong_. “This was the only other way to try and make the x-blade and we stopped him. We beat him for _good_.”

Sora’s head drops back onto his arms. “Thank _fuck_ ,” he says with feeling and it’s such a perfect Roxas tone that Ventus breaks into laughter.

He waves a hand. “Sorry, sorry! I feel the exact same way. Fuck him.” Ven wipes his eyes and takes a breath, still cracking into laughs once or twice. Relief is heady. “I think we’re actually going to be able to enjoy life a little.”

“I’m going to go back to school.” Sora makes a face. “School and homework...with weekend trips to wherever I want in the galaxy, to see any of my friends.” He winks at Ven. “Maybe that’s not so bad.”

Ven shakes his head. “The only lessons I’m going back to are the keyblade kind. Why are you even considering regular school? Riku’s a keyblade master and all you have to do is take the regular test now. Then you’ll be masters and have a bunch of other options.”

Sora bites his lip. “That’s true, but...I think I want to give a real break a shot. Sure, if there’s an emergency I’ll come help and I’m definitely going to come visit you guys for lessons, but...constantly fighting has been my life for like two years, three I guess, but I was asleep for that year. So, I don’t think that really counts.” He shrugs. “Riku, Kairi, and I at least owe it to our other friends and family back home to check-in, you know? As amazing as magic and traveling the worlds is...it’s not the islands.”

“They’re still home. It’ll always be home.” He smiles and tips his head, pressing his cheek to his arm.

Ven only has to close his eyes to remember the beach and the sunsets, the trees and the wind over the water, all of it held in Sora’s heart. “I understand. Let me know when you want a jailbreak and we’ll come get you guys and Roxas and Xion.”

Sora laughs like a weight has been lifted off his chest. “We’ll have our phones! We can coordinate a whole family breakout. We’re gonna need a really big gummi ship.”

“Only at first. Once you guys have armor, then all bets are off.”

“Man, you think we’ll get some?” Sora sits upright, rocking the chair forward. “It’s so cool, Ven. I’m so jealous. Getting to borrow it in my heart while not even conscious? That so doesn’t count. I didn’t even get to see it and Riku thought the whole thing was creepy.”

Ventus points at the body beside him. “That’s Vanitas’s fault. His was the nightmare touch all over my armor.”

Sora whistles. “Cool.”

“Don’t tell him that. He needs to get better taste.”

“Oh yeah?” Sora’s smirking all of a sudden and Ven squints. Sora points at the two of them. “If his taste is so bad, then you must kinda suck.”

“Hey!” Ventus takes a pillow and throws it at his head. “Asshole. What do you know about it?”

Sora catches the pillow and shoves it between his chest and the chair back. “Okay, not too much, but even I’m not that blind. You guys keep holding hands and Roxas and Xion both like him.” He tips his head a little and he brushes his fingers over his heart. “He was there too, wasn’t he?”

Ven leans back against the headboard and buries his fingers in Vanitas’s hair. “Yeah,” he says, quietly. “Yeah, he was there...and then he was gone.” He knows what Sora will ask and continues even though his heart aches at the memory. “He vanished, not too long after you borrowed my armor. We were sleeping and I woke up and it was like he had never been there at all. We knew he had been, we all remembered him, but there wasn’t a trace. Not even...one of the Unversed to let us know he was okay.”

Vanitas’s face is still tense and all Ven can do is wipe away some of the awful black oil that is still working its way out of his mouth. It smears and he hates this so _much_. “That was when Xehanort grabbed him, out of time or whatever. But he was gone.”

Sora makes some soft noise of agreement, but Ven can’t look up at him. He pushes Vanitas’s hair away from his face, drawing his fingers down Vanitas’s cheek and rubbing little circles. It used to make him relax, stop clenching his jaw, but nothing happens this time. Vanitas stays unconscious, jaw held like a vice.

A weight settles on the bed on Vanitas’s other side and Ven wipes his eyes before Sora can see. Sora feels too much for all of them, he doesn’t want to make it worse. “I’m...really glad he’s back, Sora.” His throat is still tight and it comes out roughly, but he is glad. No matter what happens, Vanitas is _here_ and can be helped now...if he wakes. “He’s my other half,” Ven says, setting a hand over Vanitas’s heart.

Sora places his hand on top of Ven’s and squeezes. Sora doesn’t smile at him or make promises; he sits on Vanitas’s other side and holds Ventus’s hand, a silent companionship that says more than any words. It’s just as warm as his heart was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler ban is off for comments now since we're in the second half of February! If you haven't beaten KH3 yet, be cautious. Who knows what lies below.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 13, chapter 13, and guess who's here.

“How long are they going to sleep? Breakfast was two hours ago.”

“Shhh! When they’re rested, they’ll get up. This is nothing compared to, oh how many days was it?”

“Oh shut up. This is different than that.” Roxas leans back in one of the chairs, balancing on the back legs and wishing he could do more. “Okay maybe Vanitas isn’t, but Ven should get up so we know he’s not in a coma again.”

Xion rolls her eyes. “I think we’d have to give it most of the day before we start worrying about comas. A war just happened, in case you forgot.” She sticks her tongue out at him.

Roxas sticks his out right back. “Yeah, yeah.” Excuse _him_ for being concerned. He looks over at the bed where all he can see is hair sticking out, black and blond nested close together. “You think he’s going to give us shit for watching?”

“Not if we’re not _staring_ at them,” Xion says in a harsh whisper. “We’re keeping watch in case of trouble. Ven knows that; Sora was here last night.”

“I don’t think he looks at Sora and thinks ‘security.’” Roxas draws the quotes in the air, still balancing back on the chair. “I think he looks at Sora and has the same reaction everyone else does: holy fuck, who let a puppy get this big?”

Xion kicks at the chair leg, not unbalancing him, but close enough to make him wobble. Roxas rights the chair, all four legs on the ground. Xion smirks. “If he’s a puppy, what does that make you? The angry cat that glares at anything that gets too close?”

Roxas keeps his mouth shut, unwilling to admit how accurate that assessment is. Xion giggles at him anyway. “Vanitas is definitely an angry cat. I’m not sure what to call Ven.”

“A lazy cat, always finds the highest place in your room and then falls asleep in the sunshine.” Roxas points at her. “And you’re another puppy.”

“Because of my big eyes?”

Roxas’s cheeks go a little red. “Because you’re enthusiastic.”

Xion’s cheeks go red too, but she hides it, covering more giggles with her hands. “Well! I’ll accept that. What about Axel?”

“Come on, he sleeps on all his days off! Cat. Kairi?”

“Hmm..maybe one of those little dogs? You know, they’re small and cute, but really determined.”

“How much time did you spend looking for dogs?” Roxas leans back in the chair again. “I’m trying to keep it simple. Like, Riku’s a slimy lizard.”

Xion rolls her eyes. “You’re so _mean_. He apologized already, more than once! Riku’s a cat, following his favorite people from room to room.”

Roxas rolls his eyes. “He can keep groveling for a while. He fucked things up for us, Xion.”

“Then so did Namine and I don’t hear you complaining about _her_ .” Xion crosses her arms over her chest. “I think you’re just bitter about him kicking your ass. Such a _boy_.”

“Hey!”

“You’re both fucking _roosters_ . Go the fuck away.” Ven lifts his head up from the blankets and glares at them. His hair is sticking up even more than usual and in twice as many directions. Xion covers her face before she can start laughing. He looks _exactly_ like a pissed off bird.

Roxas gives a little two-fingered wave. “Morning. Cock-a-doodle-doo and all that shit. You missed breakfast.”

Ven glares at him and then yanks the blanket over his head. “Don’t care. Shut up or get out.”

“Naw,” Roxas drawls.

Xion stands up and crosses to the bed. She puts a hand on Vanitas’s shoulder and then pulls the blanket off of Ventus’s head. “Come on, you have to be sick of sleeping. We can do things if you wake up. Make plans!” She smiles, the big one that makes her eyes crinkle, and always made Axel bend faster than wet paper.

Ven just glares at her and then pulls his pillow over his face. “If Vanitas hasn’t moved, I’m not going anywhere.” It’s meant to sound pouty and almost does, except Xion can hear the waver. Ven would love to do silly things, but he won’t, not without Vanitas.

She sighs and lifts the pillow. “He hasn’t, not since we got up here, but we can talk about that. Roxas and I had a couple ideas, but we need your input. You know him and your connection the best.” And Ven’s not the only one who’s scared. She and Roxas got to the door of the gummi ship just as the yelling started.

Unversed were popping out from the bushes, quivering and clawing at the ground. Keyblades were lighting up everywhere, nervous wielders calling them to hand. But she and Roxas ignored them, charging past the small creatures until they found their source. By the time they made it, Ven was bent over Vanitas on the ground, Sora kneeling next to him and talking quietly.

Once Vanitas had been taken inside, Axel offered them a break, just the three of them and their favorite place. It had felt a little like betrayal, but an escape from it all had been needed. They’d done it and Xion had felt better coming back to the tower, more determined. They made it through the war, they’re with their friends, and nothing can stop them from fixing everything.

Roxas puts a hand on her shoulder. “Come on, Ven. Pouting like Sora won’t fix anything.”

The pillow hits Roxas right in the face, Xion leaning to the side slightly to give Ven a clear shot. “You deserved that. But he’s right, Ven. We’ve gotta talk this out before something worse happens. Do you know what’s going on with him?”

Ventus gazes at the ceiling, nods, and then sits up. He adjusts the blankets and catches the pillow Roxas tosses back to him. Xion sits on Vanitas’s other side, Roxas leaning against her.

“I don’t exactly know the cause, but...he’s destabilized. That’s the best word I can think of. I can see his side of our bond and the links of it on his side...they’re dissolving. It’s like sand trickling out of them.” Ven reaches and takes Vanitas’s hand, squeezing it tightly. There’s still no response. “And now this happened so I can’t even _talk_ to him about it. What does his heart look like? Is it worse? Better? I don’t know. I don’t _know_.”

“I’m scared we’re going to lose him before I can help him,” Ven confesses very softly, but his voice cracks anyway. He covers his face. “To get him back and then lose him again before I could even try-.” He tries to forge on, but his voice chokes off.

Xion and Roxas trade a look. They don’t have experience with this kind of fear, this kind of grief; they got back and have no reason to disappear again. But, they love him and Vanitas, their protective older brothers, and the fear isn’t Ven’s alone. Xion leans over Vanitas to hug Ven and Roxas circles the bed to get him from the other side. Ven shakes in their hold, still hiding his face, but not hiding at all that Vanitas isn’t the only one that’s falling apart.

Ventus and Vanitas are two halves of a whole and to have one of them be _gone_ would be wrong and unbalanced. It makes Roxas angry to imagine it. The universe cannot be allowed to let things go out of balance. As guardians, it’s their duty to make sure it doesn’t happen. As Ventus and Vanitas’s friends, they refuse to suffer the loss.

Roxas leans back a little. “Ven, we won’t let that happen. Xion and I have a couple ideas and we can start right now. First thing we wanna do is get him awake, right? Find out what the fuck happened, why he collapsed out of nowhere. So...we had a thought.”

“In Sora’s heart, we all could just rest to recover our strength because it was a healing place. Sleeping out here doesn’t have the same effect we’re guessing.” Xion shrugs. “Not that we’re experts or anything…”

Ven is rubbing at his eyes, but nods. Roxas takes it as a sign to continue. “Well, being with you and having you balance his emotions out is probably already helpful. You’re literally his _light_ and your bond is like a fucking two-way street, so you can help him, right?”

“Yeah, I’ve taken some of the emotions back when they’re too overwhelming for him. It’s easy when they’re actually mine, but I can take some of his too since...you know.”

Roxas nods. “Yeah, exactly. So, you’re already helping him and he’s probably already doing a little better being right beside you for several hours, but he’s not awake. Since whatever the fuck this was happened and he collapsed, he probably needs something more.” He fiddles with his rings. “It sounds really fucking stupid, but we kinda thought it couldn’t hurt to try…”

Xion huffs at the stalling. “It can’t hurt to try having all of us together, along with Sora, and see what effect that has. We’ve all been with him, touched his heart, and Sora was the one who gave us all space to heal. If we’re all together, that might help him enough to wake up!”

“You think it’d be that simple?” Ven’s brow wrinkles. “Sora in here last night didn’t do anything…”

“Maybe not, but you weren’t trying to reach out and help him, right? Throwing a cure at him might not work, but if we’re all focused on trying to reach him…” Xion presses her hands to her heart. “It can’t hurt to try, Ven. I don’t want to sit around and wait when he’s...doing badly.” She can’t make herself say anything close to _dying_.

Roxas shoves his hands in his pockets. “It sounds stupid, but we’ve all gotten through bullshit in the past thanks to each other and how we were connected.”

Ventus stares down at Vanitas’s face. There’s no change from the night before, not worse, but not improved. He takes a breath. “Okay, it’s worth a shot. It won’t hurt him or us to try.”

“Exactly!” Xion gives him a quick hug and then stands up.”I’ll get you some breakfast. Roxas, you find Sora.”

“We have phones, you can just te-.”  
  
“Go get him!” Xion’s already leaving the room.

Roxas grumbles under his breath and pulls his phone out. “Gonna at least ask where he is before I wander around this damn tower…”

Ven flops back down on the bed. He already feels worn out, not ready to face this damn day. But a plan’s a plan and Xion and Roxas are right. It won’t hurt and might even help.

Xion gets back first, breakfast in hand, and Ventus works through eggs and bacon while they wait for Roxas and Sora. His stomach draws itself into a knot the more he thinks about this plan and whether or not it’ll work. But Xion keeps up light, friendly chatter and he manages to eat more than a few bites.

Sora swings the door open with a cheery, “Good morning!” He has a towel around his neck and is dressed only in a sleeveless workout top and shorts. Roxas, coming in behind him, practically looks overdressed in his casual clothes.

“He was out running with Riku. It’s _ten am_.” Roxas shakes his head. “I thought you liked to sleep.”

“I do! On the beach in the middle of the afternoon. That’s the perfect time for a relaxing nap. It keeps you out of the heat of the day.” Sora smiles and wipes his face off. “What are we up to?”

Ven awkwardly pulls himself out of the bed, feeling like a lazy bastard as Xion explains. Sora nods along, giving Ven time to at least run a brush through his hair. Sun-browned hands come together in a clap once Xion has finished and Sora approaches the bed. “Sounds easy enough! If he’s really out of it, we can ask Riku to dive in there and talk to him. I’d do it, but uh…” Sora trails off, looking away.

“He does like you, Sora. He’s just embarrassed and frustrated about all of this. He really wanted to talk to you before this all happened.” Ven comes back over and pats his shoulder. “Riku might freak him out _more_ honestly. But if it comes to diving, we’ll hash it out. Whoever does it, I’m going too.”

Sora nods. “Great. Okay, so...do we all put a hand on him?”

Roxas shrugs. “We’re making this shit up as we go. We do whatever we feel like.”

“Let your heart be your guiding key,” Sora murmurs and Ven jumps, his heart aching in an unfamiliar way. He stares at Sora, but he’s already frowning down at Vanitas. He’ll have to ask later about where Sora heard that.

Sora taps his fingers together and then nods. “I think I should go last and we should all put a hand on him. Reaching out is easier for me if I can do it physically. Ven, you first, and then Roxas and Xion.”

Roxas arches an eyebrow. “What do you want us to do? Stack our hands over his heart?”

“If you want? At least put a hand on his arm or something. I’m not going to, like, smash my hand on top and try to scare him awake with a punch to the chest.”

This grows more ridiculous by the second and trading looks they all break into snorts and laughter. Ven holds both hands up, smiling. “Okay, okay! I’m doing it. If it works, he can make fun of how stupid we all look.”

Ventus sits on his side of the bed again. He takes Vanitas’s hand in his and then lays them both over Vanitas’s heart. His hand warms, maybe in his imagination, and he closes his eyes.

A smaller hand, slightly cooler settles over his, Xion whispering something. Roxas is right behind her, placing a hand on Vanitas’s shoulder and the other on Xion’s. “Come on, you asshole. We promised,” he mutters.

Sora’s hands go over Xion and Ventus’s, warming them and reaching all the way to Roxas’s touch. Light and warmth and safety fill them and they all reach out toward Vanitas’s heart.

_Stars glitter in a night black sky, unreachable and cold._

_A flash shatters the void and four stars begin to fall, trailing whispers that call out to him._

_One stretches ahead of the others; the oldest star that has always burned brightest for him, his guiding light._

_He lifts a hand, stretching out his fingers to brush the star as it flies past him. But the star grabs hold and pulls him into its light._


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big big thank you to everyone who reads this fic, gives it kudos, and leaves a comment. You're all wonderful and I wouldn't keep posting without you!

_ He remembers the first time he felt light that was warm instead of burning. _

_ He remembers holding it in his hands and wishing to never let go. _

_ He remembers it all fading away in a torrent of darkness _ .

_ The sun rises and he remembers again. _

 

Vanitas opens his eyes to see four people staring down at him. Blue eyes and smiles come into focus and he squints. Light blazes off of them. 

“I’m in hell,” he rasps and Ven throws his arms around him. Shaking, he holds Vanitas tight. His relief numbs Vanitas’s tongue, filling him in a rush and wiping out any other feeling that might be lingering. Vanitas holds him back, trying to put the pieces together. “What the hell,” he mutters. “It’s not been that long.”  _ Has it? _

Roxas squeezes his shoulder. “It’s been six months,” he intones sadly.

Vanitas shoots him a look of confusion, but Xion is already punching Roxas in the shoulder. “Vanitas, it’s only the next day. Almost normal.”

“I feel like shit for ‘almost normal.’” Vanitas mentally catalogues the various aches and pains, an old habit that’s never steered him wrong. He’s sore all over, a full body ache that’s practically standard for his existence. Ventus’s grip on him is fighting it back bit by bit. His throat feels ravaged, like he’s been screaming without end, and there’s something in his mouth. His nose wrinkles. “I need a drink.”

Like a magician, Xion pulls a glass out. “Ven, let him up.”

“Yeah, let me up or I’ll spit on you."

“Charming,” Ventus mutters and sits up, rubbing at his face. “Dump it on his head.”

Xion grins. “No thanks. I think he can handle a shower on his own.”

Vanitas pushes himself up and takes the glass. His hand doesn’t shake, a good sign, and he takes a big gulp. It stings a little down his throat and his nose wrinkles. He takes another drink and eyes the kids.

“What happened?”

“Oh come on, that’s what you’re supposed to tell us!” Roxas crosses his arms over his chest. “Do you not remember?”

Worry, Ventus’s, slides down his back and Vanitas glances at him. Ventus is chewing on his lower lip as he glances from Roxas to Vanitas. “Give him a minute, Roxas… It could be upsetting, you know?”

There is nothing he detests like coddling. Vanitas’s eyes narrow and he lowers the glass. “What  _ happened _ ?” he demands again, colder. His anger blocks everything else out and he can hear the slight skitter of something under the bed.

“You collapsed,” says a mostly unfamiliar voice. Vanitas’s gaze snaps to the end of the bed and he has to resist the urge to summon his mask.  _ His face _ stares back at him. The face he was given, but brighter, and he can’t say why those blue eyes make him ache with something indescribable. Vanitas smooths his face to expressionless. He will not look  _ anything _ in front of Sora.

Sora stares back at him, not smiling, watching warily. His hands squeeze the foot of the bed. “You spawned a bunch of the Unversed and then collapsed. They disappeared when you passed out; Ven didn’t know what had happened. So, you’re the only one who can answer that question, Vanitas.”

He doesn’t like the way Sora says his name. Something about it is too familiar. They haven’t spoken, not really, and Sora does not know him.  _ There was always Ventus between them. He never truly  _ ~~_ cared about _ ~~ _ looked at Sora. _

Vanitas stares back, and his voice is as expressionless as his face. “Then while I’m trying to recall, tell me what you’re doing in here.”

Sora glances to the side, to Roxas and Xion. “They asked me to come help you.”

“We thought that with all of us together, we might be able to break whatever was holding you unconscious.” Xion points at Sora. “Along with Sora since he was the place that healed you both the first time.”

Secrets, secrets spilled everywhere, and he’s not used to not being the one to share them. Vanitas dips his chin, slightly. “And, it worked, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Ventus repeats and puts a hand to his shoulder. “Vanitas, please...relax. We all want to help. Whatever this is...it’s not just the flu. Our bond…” His voice trails off, unsure or unwilling to be detailed in front of the group.

Relax, ha. Vanitas closes his eyes. He remembers standing at the edge of this world, the stars, and then falling into his own heart. “I went to check,” he says, flatly. “I knew something was wrong, more than an illness. But everything seemed fine.”

_ No more broken than usual. And then...he looked down. _

He puts a hand to his chest. “It was fine, on the surface.”

“But below that,” Ven says lowly.

“Something’s cracked,” Vanitas finishes. “I need more time to investigate.” The rest of the memory,  _ the panic _ , stabs at him, but he buries it. He doesn’t need those moments; he’s better than that. If another noise comes from under the bed, he ignores it.

They’re all trading worried looks and Vanitas grits his teeth. “Cut it out. It’ll be dealt with.” One way or another.  _ Something screams inside him; he ignores it. _ There’s no time for that. “Where are we?”

“In Yen Sid’s tower,” Roxas answers, rubbing the back of his head. “Sora and Ven brought you in yesterday after that shitshow. Everyone’s been resting for the most part. You hungry?”

The thought of food turns his stomach and Vanitas’s eyebrows furrow. “No.”

A hand presses against his forehead, Ven leaning in. “...Yeah, I bet not. Your fever’s still up there. You need fluids and some kind of medicine.”

Sora makes a face. “Ugh, I think Yen Sid stocks the nasty grape kind out of spite. Good luck, Vanitas.”

“Fuck off,” Vanitas snaps back on automatic.

For whatever reason, Sora grins. “Would you prefer bubblegum?”

Certain that Sora is fucking with him, Vanitas squints. “I’d prefer you go f-.”

“You’ve been here the most, Sora,” Ventus rolls his eyes as he interrupts. “You wanna go get it?”

“Yeah, no problem. You think everything’s okay?”

All those blue eyes look at him again and Vanitas gives up on impassivity to hiss at all of them. “I’m not broken glass! Go get the shit!”

“Yeah, okay, he’s fine.” Roxas rolls his eyes. “I’ll go see what everybody suggests for flu treatment. I wanna be prepared if I catch it next.”

Xion puts her hands over her mouth and nose. “Good point. Vanitas, no coughing on us!”

Vanitas throws his hands up. “I’m not fucking coughing!” His throat protests the sudden volume and he has to cover a cough. The universe can kiss his ass.

There’s muffled laughter, but by the time he looks up, the culprits are gone. He and Ventus are alone and for the first time since he woke up, Vanitas truly relaxes. He takes another sip from the glass, easing his throat a little. That it means not talking for another moment is entirely unrelated.

Ventus stares at him, appraising, and Vanitas tries not to let it prickle. The room’s not big enough for an argument or even more than a couple Unversed. Nothing stops Ventus, though, not even shattering his own heart.

“I thought you were going to jump for a minute.”

He refuses to think about that moment, scoffing instead. “I’m not an idiot, Ventus.”

“You looked terrified.” Ventus’s voice is quiet, but hard. “Don’t bullshit me, Vanitas. I  _ know _ you. Or...I did.”

Vanitas doesn’t want to have this conversation. He doesn’t want to think over the past few weeks, his actions, his mas-. He looks away, but can’t hide the swell of his emotions from Ventus. The toxic mass claws up his throat and into his mouth and he presses his lips together to keep it from spilling it out. It always does, but he fights it.

A handful of Floods, a Scrapper, even a goddamn Shoegazer twitch alongside the bed regardless. Vanitas squeezes his eyes shut.  _ No, you’re in control. They’re your emotions and you are  _ **_in. control._ **

There’s the ghost of a touch, a hand not on his body but something close. He knows the touch anyway, Ventus’s warm hand brushing over the head of the Scrapper soothingly. Another ghost touch, Ventus letting two of the Floods into his lap, wrapping his arm around them. He handles them carefully, gently,  _ always so gently, like they mattered instead of being castoff and useless _ . _ He doesn’t understand _ .

Ventus waits for him to calm down, blue eyes on the emotions under his hands instead of Vanitas’s face.

Vanitas ignores the burning in his center and forces the mess back down. Several of the Unversed vanish, leaving the Scrapper under Ventus’s hand. He cannot deal with that one right now. He exhales and it shakes and Vanitas has never felt so weak in his life.

He’s familiar with the fear, the unpleasantness, but the weakness… He’s fought too hard to be this way now.

_ Did he really? When the master offered him the cloak, another chance to make up for his  _ **_failure_ ** _ , what did he do? _

_ He took it. _

“Why were you looking for me, Ventus?” Vanitas finally asks.

Ventus meets his gaze and the sharp, appraising look is back. His hand starts a repetitive motion over the Unversed’s head, petting it.

“Because I wanted to know what happened. It didn’t feel  _ right _ to look around at everyone and not see you. The war’s over and I want to go back to what we had...or something like it, I guess. There’s a lot more than just you and me now.” Ventus’s eyes soften. “Don’t you  _ want _ another chance to be with me, with Roxas and Xion?”

Vanitas’s hands fist. It hurts, that same indescribable ache that Sora’s face causes him. “You have to earn shit like that. I threw that away when I went back to  _ him _ .”

Ventus scoots closer, letting their knees brush. It’s just enough not to overwhelm him when he feels too much. “Apologize, mean it, and do something different. You can earn it again. I’m not going to blame you for...doing what you had to to survive Xehanort.”

It’d be so easy to frame it that way, as survival. If he could remember clearly, maybe he could convince himself it was the truth too. “They’ll be waiting to strike me down the second I do anything dark.”

“The people around here don’t know what to think of you, stupid.” Ventus gives the Scrapper a slight squeeze. “Riku got possessed, Terra was possessed; they know what it’s like to be under someone else’s control.”

“I come from  _ darkness _ , remember?” Vanitas hisses it out. “I’m not some slightly tarnished light.”

Ventus huffs in frustration. “Don’t just listen to Aqua. She’s been hurt and you were a giant jerk to her, but she’s not right about this. She’s not right about you. We can show her that, if you try. You’re already showing it with Roxas and Xion. Terra noticed.”

For some stupid reason, that makes Vanitas’s face feel hot. Another Flood curls up between them and Ventus laughs. He bumps their elbows together gently. “You’ll have more friends and allies than you think if you trust them like you do Roxas and Xion. It won’t be easy, but come on, when have you ever done anything easy?”

The corner of Vanitas’s mouth curls up, half a smile. “You’re the lazy, easy path one.”

“Ass.”

“Yes, that’s me. Good ID, Ventus.” It’s a joke, but when Vanitas looks at Ventus again, he can see that Ventus understands the weight there.  _ You know me, more than anyone. _

Ventus presses their arms together, leeching away the soreness that comes from a cracked heart. Vanitas sighs and turns to press his face to Ventus’s hair.

“I want this,” he whispers.

The overwhelming feeling that Ventus sends his way in reply is enough to make his face burn. It’s the first one that doesn’t make him feel ill.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a breather chapter this time with a trio I haven't touched much since the start of this story! (How did I get to chapter 15? I truly don't know)

The sky above Yen Sid’s tower really is beautiful. The stars swirl with colors and shine so bright that it’s hard to even remember the sun or miss it for a couple days. Even after all the time they’ve spent there, Sora always finds himself fascinated. 

Flat on his back with the blankets pulled from their bed, he watches the stars from one of the balconies up near the roof. It’s very quiet, markedly different from how it’s been inside the tower all day. It’s relaxing; he closes his eyes and enjoys the sound of the wind. He could fall asleep out here, but he’s certain that won’t be happening. He took the blankets after all.

The door creaks open and Sora grins. He tilts his head back, ignoring the pull on his neck, and directs his upside down grin at Riku. Riku sighs at him and steps out of the way so Kairi can come through. She crosses her arms immediately. “Sora, those are our blankets.”

“Yep!”

“What are they doing out here?”

Sora sits up and half-turns, patting the blanket beside him. “Keeping my butt from getting too cold. Yours too, come on.”

Riku’s already taking a seat on his other side, stretching his legs out and leaning back on his hands with a sigh. “It’s warmer inside.”

“Yeah, but the sky’s not inside. I can’t stargaze out a window.”

Kairi takes his hand and interlaces their fingers before looking up. Sora can practically see the stars in her eyes and takes a breath, face gone warm. Kairi takes no notice, or at least doesn’t comment, and leans in to put her head against his shoulder. “It’s a lot different from home. I’m glad we get to see it.”

Sora puts his head against hers, fingers reaching to take Riku’s hand. Riku’s wraps their fingers together when they connect, warm and solid. It feels better when they’re connected; nothing can take them apart if they’re holding on. “Yeah, I always look up when we go to a new world. It’s funny how different it is. You’d think there’d be some of the same stuff. We fly through all the same space, right?”

Riku hums, eyes fixed on the sky as well. “Maybe the pathways we make aren’t the same thing as the skies we see on the worlds. Maybe it’s like...a different layer.”

“No way. The King said if you see a star going out then that’s a world falling. They  _ have _ to be connected.” Sora frowns at him.

A shrug is Riku’s answer. “He knows better than me, but I don’t think either of us are experts on space.”

Kairi laughs. “You guys barely made it into high school.”

“Exactly.” Riku shrugs again. “Does it matter, Sora?”

“Yes.” Sora squeezes their hands. “If the sky is the same, then we’re always looking at the same stars, no matter where we are.”

“You’re not planning on another adventure, are you?” Kairi asks softly. “I thought you wanted a break at home.”

“No, I’m ready to go back home and not leave for months. Just in case something does happen…”

Riku keeps his voice flat. “I can bury you up to your neck on the island so nothing can get you for a while.”

Sora and Kairi both burst into giggles. “The perfect camouflage! We can put a coconut shell over his head too.” Kairi mimes planting one directly over her face.

“I need to  _ breathe _ !”

“Do you? Don’t you have gills?” Kairi pokes his side, tickling him and Sora squawks. He tries to slap her hand away, but both of his are occupied.

“They don’t work on sand, ugh!” Sora sticks his tongue out at them and then flops down to lie on his back again. Kairi follows, pressing their arms together as they watch the sky subtly change colors above them. Deep purple shifts to navy and the stars shine on, safe finally from any threats.

It’s peaceful, just the three of them, and Sora could almost fall asleep. Almost, if it wasn’t for the path his thoughts keep treading. He can’t stop thinking about what he’s learned; the feelings tangling in his chest make it hard to think of anything else. He can’t bury them; he can only trust that others can help him shoulder them.

_ My friends are my power. _

_ They’re my light. _

“Apparently, my heart looks just like our island at home,” Sora says, breaking the quiet that’s draped over them like a familiar blanket. “Roxas and Xion were telling me. It was the play island, coconuts and our treehouse and everything.”

Kairi shifts to look at him and Riku’s head has turned, but Sora keeps his gaze on the stars.

“That’s not really surprising, I guess. But, it’s weird to think about. There were...people running around in my heart and I never knew. I didn’t have a clue about any of them. Well, not until Riku…”

Riku shrugs. “I only knew...remembered about Roxas.” He nudges their hands against Sora’s leg. “I couldn’t have guessed you were renting rooms at age  _ four _ .”

Sora smiles a little, more self-deprecating than it used to be. “I sure don’t remember it as more than a feeling. It feels like a dream, someone crying for help…”

“It’s too bad I didn’t get to meet Ven back when I was squatting. I really like him.” Kairi muffles a yawn into her hand. “We’re definitely doing that slumber party, maybe back at Ven’s place. He’s got a whole castle.”

“It’s kind of Aqua’s castle, isn’t it?” Riku frowns. “Was I told about a slumber party?”

Sora laughs. “You’re not invited. Kairi says heart squatters only.”

“Ouch, Kairi, I’m really feeling the love.”

Kairi blows a raspberry. “Not everything is for you, Riku. Gosh, have your own party with Aqua and Terra.”

Riku makes a face. “And be a real third wheel? No fucking way.”

They all laugh and Sora feels lighter. He’d be able to relax and go to bed, if it wasn’t for…

He sighs. “The only thing I’m nervous about is Vanitas.”

“Yeah, if he passes the flu to the rest of us that’d be a fine way to go back home.” Riku’s nose wrinkles. “All this interstellar travel and it’s at the very last moment that we all get sick.”

Kairi snorts, but Sora frowns. “Not that, being sick is whatever.”

“You would say that, Sora. You always sleep it off.” 

“Not my fault your body hates you, Riku!” Sora nudges him and Riku scoffs. “It’s not him being sick. That sucks, but...I don’t get it.”

Kairi pokes his cheek. “Don’t get what? He’s a total asshole. I don’t think there’s much to get.”

Sora hums, trying to put his feelings into words. “I told you before, when Ven was still with me...he felt so sad looking at Vanitas. It was really weird and confusing, but...it wasn’t the first time I felt something like it. I’m just not sure…” He sighs. “This is hard.”

“Take your time,” Riku says. “We’ve got nowhere to be.”

He takes a breath. “I think...it reminded me of watching Riku walk away.” Sora squeezes his hand tight before he can even try to pull away. “Not just that he was falling to the darkness, but...that I knew he could be better.”

Riku squeezes back. “You think Ven felt the same way about Vanitas.”

Sora nods. “It wasn’t  _ just _ Ven back then. Vanitas came with him.”   


Kairi sighs. “So, Ven knew him that whole time until Vanitas...left?”

“Not left, was taken. Ven said he woke up and Vanitas was gone without a word.” Sora looks between them. “If he was actually lying to Ven that whole time, why leave without taking his heart too? That’s all he wanted when I met him.”

Riku hums. “Taken. I wonder if during our exam, they managed to get Vanitas. We were so close to the dark, it calls to itself.”

“You think?” Sora looks at him.

Riku shrugs. “Maybe? Vanitas is probably the only one who really knows.”

“And who knows when he’ll talk,” Kairi says with a huff. “Asshole.”

“Yen Sid wants me to speak with him tomorrow. Guess you’re not the only one who sees a parallel, Sora.” Riku draws a knee up and leans on it.

Sora blinks. “Huh. Well, if anybody can help him, it’s you, Riku. That’s what I told, Ven.”

Even in the low light, they can both see Riku go red. “Shut up.”

Kairi grins and sits up to lean over Sora. She reaches out and pets at Riku’s arm. “Ohhhh, Master Riku, will you teach me how to win over all the pretty boys?”

“Oh my god.” Riku’s face is bright red, all the way up to his ears. “No, I don’t know how I managed any of this. I’m the master of tripping and landing on my face.”

“I’m the master of sweet flips,” Sora declares with a grin. “Riku tripped and landed right at my feet and I knew I had to teach him everything I know. I swept him off his feet.”

“Oh yeah?” Kairi bends down over Sora, almost nose to nose. “Is that so?”

Sora sucks in a breath, going almost as red as Riku. “Y-yes?”

Her hand rests on his chest and he can see every single one of her freckles. Kairi hums, staring down at him, and then sits back up suddenly. “I’m the master of this whole relationship.”

Sora pulls his hands away from theirs and covers his face, trying to remember how to breathe. Riku is badly hiding his laughter behind his hand. He smiles at Kairi. “That’s a given.”

“As long as you don’t forget it.” Kairi scoots closer, pushing Sora into Riku so their hips are pressed together. “Still alive, Sora?”

“No. Dump me into the abyss, I’m dead.”

Riku reaches down and pats his shoulder. “There, there,” he deadpans. Sora lifts his arms enough to glare at him. Kairi giggles and takes one of Sora’s hands again.

“You’ll recover.”

Sora sighs and sits up to be squished between them. “Only if you guys are there with me.”

“That’s all anybody needs,” Riku says. “Support.”

Sora and Kairi both look at him and then Sora looks up at the stars. “Oh. That’s it.”

“Hm?”

“If Vanitas is like Riku...then he needs people like you guys to tell him that they care about him.”

Kairi frowns. “Sora, I know you empathise with everyone, but...he was really cruel.”

Riku looks away. “I tried to kill Sora, Kairi.”

“True...and Axel kidnapped me, ugh! Why is everyone we know so prone to bad choices? Why are we friends with them?”

Sora makes sure he has both of their hands again, squeezing them tight. “All that matters is making better ones once you learn. If you have people to support you in the right direction, it’s easier to do it, right?”

“Right,” Riku agrees and wraps an arm around as much of both of them that he can. “I’d be a teenage asshole forever without you two.”

“Aww, Riku.” Kairi reaches to pat his arm in return. “Okay, fine. We’re giving Ventus a chance to soften Vanitas back up or whatever. I still better hear an apology and if he calls me a  _ princess _ again, then I’m gonna beat his ass into the dirt just like I would have Riku.”

“Fair,” Riku agrees. “I’ll let you guys know what happens when I see him tomorrow.”

Sora hums, sandwiched between them. If Vanitas really is like Riku...he can see why Ventus cares so much. He’d fight through every world again and again for his friends; Ven is the same. 

Next time he sees Vanitas, they can start over. Yeah, that’ll be perfect. Maybe he'd like looking up at the stars too.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Physical abuse
> 
> Fair warning, this one starts off light and does not end that way. If you're looking to skip the section in question, it's the large italicized bit in the office.

Terra has always liked having a routine. When there was so much to learn and do, much of it left his head spinning and overflowing with concepts and practice drills until he felt ready to burst. But there was always the routine to keep him grounded. Breakfast, exercises and drills in the morning, lunch, lessons inside, free time to relax, dinner, study, rest. Easy, grounding.

Getting it back could help. It’s harder, not being at home. But he and Aqua are both used to their routine and have every reason to embrace it again. Neither of them sleeps well, waking early after a fitful night. They go down to prepare breakfast together, or well, watch as the brooms do all of the work.

The rest of the keybearers drift in and out throughout breakfast, but there’s a good sized group of them that agree to follow when Aqua says they’re going out to do drills. Terra’s glad. It eases the lines on Aqua’s face when she looks at the new wielders, full of light and eager to follow her. She clung to the barest threads of hope for those long years and now there are so many things to hold onto that her hands are overflowing.

Terra takes the back of the group, watching Sora bounce to the front and chatter what can only be a million questions to Aqua. She wasn’t kidding about him; Aqua responds happily enough, hands moving as she explains some concept or other. She’ll be a great teacher. Riku and Kairi are in-step, her arm looped through his as they both muffle yawns. Roxas,  _ not Ventus _ , is equally quiet and tired, his shoulders slumped and one hand still wrapped around a mug of something hot. The frown on his face gives him away since Ven has usually bounded from bed full of energy.

There’s no sign of Lea or Xion or Ven himself. Terra glances back over his shoulder to the tower and wonders how many of them are shut away with Vanitas. The request for his time later today tugs at his heart and he frowns. He can only guess at why Master Yen Sid wants to see him and none of his guesses give him good ideas.

The routine will stabilize his mood and he will be able to confront the storm with a calmer heart. He takes a few steps forward to join the line of keybearers and shoots a smile at Aqua. She smiles back and summons her keyblade. There’s a shimmer of light around many hands and Terra feels a steady calm settle over him as she begins to show them the first of many warm-ups.

They’re on the third, good for stretching your legs before you lunge and dodge in the more intense drills, when the door to the tower slams open. Ven arrives next to Terra in a flurry of wind that spells out just how he rushed over so quickly. Ven, mouth stuffed like a squirrel, smiles at him and then makes to swallow.

Aqua pauses and taps a foot. “Ven…”   
  
“I know, I’m sorry!” Ven shakes his arms out. “You guys didn’t exactly post a schedule. Had to see you out the window...”

“You could have arrived without being a distraction.” But Aqua is smiling. “You know the warm-ups. Catch up and maybe I won’t have you run a mile for being disruptive.”

“Yes, Master Aqua,” Ven sighs and then starts stretching his arms out.

Terra hides a laugh as Aqua resumes. He keeps an eye on Ven, but he’s fine. He knows their drills as well as he and Aqua do and isn’t slowed down by having to wait for Aqua to walk the new wielders through them. He’s caught up by the time they finish warming up, bouncing in place with his keyblade in his hand.

It’s a great morning. Since they’re all still getting used to each other, Aqua spends a lot of time just watching them demonstrate their skills. Riku and Sora go head to head in a spectacular display of magic and raw energy that leaves Terra applauding when Riku manages to pin Sora facedown to the ground. Roxas and Ven practice light magic and Terra pretends it doesn’t make his eyes sting to look at. Kairi matches off with Sora a bit later, trading blows and blocks under Aqua’s eye.

Somehow, Terra ends up relaxing in a seat on the ground, muscles pleasantly warm from running through the katas he knows better than anything else. Riku joins him, dropping onto the ground with a groan. It makes Terra chuckle and he lifts a hand to let a light cure spell drop over the boy.

Riku blows out a breath that lifts his bangs from his forehead. “Thanks. I think Sora was trying to break my ribs.”

“He hits like a mallet, huh?” Terra leans on his knees, watching Aqua step in and correct Sora’s block so it won’t jar his arms as much.  _ And the boy is coming at them again, face tight with focus and frustration, but he refuses to back down or let them past to get at the other two figures. They fall so easily, but the boy darts in close and slams them back, the keyblade sending a dull ring through dusty plates. _

Terra exhales and focuses on the greenery around them instead of the dusty rock columns of the past. He remembers the armor best of all.

“He hits like a kid who takes too much pleasure in getting me back for the bruises I gave him when we were eight.” Riku pushes his hair off his face and then sits up. “It’s way better to fight with him than against him.”

“You two know each other well,” Terra agrees. “I worry that the only thing that will stop the three of you, once Kairi has a bit more training, is something too awful to imagine.”

Riku laughs. “We’re going on a trip or two once we’ve had some downtime at home. Clean-up the powers of darkness that are spilling over the boundaries, cause some chaos, and finally get to do what we all promised.”

Terra digs a hand into the grass. “I’m going to enjoy being home. We’ll have a lot to do to prepare for any students that might come our way.”

“Mmm,” Riku hums, softer than he was a minute ago. “Yeah, you guys have your hands full. Did...did Master Yen Sid speak to you?”

“Yes. Did he ask you for something?” Terra looks over. He knows Riku has been named a master just like Aqua and hopes that Master Yen Sid isn’t immediately sending him off to deal with something else. They deserve some peace; Riku’s only a teenager still.

Riku lifts a hand and Terra’s chest goes tight as darkness wraps itself around Riku’s arm. Riku watches it and then pushes it out into a shield that flashes bright and then vanishes. “He wants me to talk to Vanitas. It’s pretty easy to guess why.”

His heart is pounding and Terra forces himself to breathe in. Riku makes it look  _ easy _ and he hates himself for panicking. He exhales and both of his hands have dug into the grass, dirt pressing into his nails. “I...suppose so. You might be able to help him. Master Yen Sid is very wise.”

“You could help him too.” Riku is quick to fluster, averting his gaze and waving a hand. “Everyone likes to praise me, but it’s really not that impressive.”

“It is though,” Terra says, quietly. “To find balance, to control the darkness in you without it breaking away and hurting people...it is impressive, Riku. It is more than I accomplished.” He should have been able to hold it back, shouldn’t have given Xehanort the step into his heart, but he failed so  _ quickly _ .

“Terra, I hope you’re not offended by this, but…” Riku scratches at his head, debating his words as Terra glances at him. “Your master, I don’t know him and I’m sure he was great for you guys, but...he definitely didn’t do everything he could have for you. My teachers in handling my darkness weren’t  _ great _ , but they gave me options.”

“I tried pushing it all away, tried locking it out, but that only weakened me and made me easy to manipulate. I wouldn’t have been able to help my friends without the darkness inside me. I have to be careful, but...it’s a part of me too. None of us are  _ just _ light.” 

Riku pauses. “Except like Kairi, but she’s a weird exception and I’m pretty sure that whole idea is kind of bullshit anyway. People being all one thing is stupid. Sora’s one of the warmest, kindest,  _ lightest _ people I know and he still has darkness in him.” He looks over at his friends, frowning. “If you’re not taught to control it instead of trying to smash it down, you’ll never be balanced. The only difference between us is I fucked up, hurt my friends, and then got it smacked into my head that there was the option to be balanced.”

“Maybe if you guys had had more time…” Riku trails off and shakes his head. “Things can be different now. If that’s what I can do to help people, I’m going to do it.”

_ A Keyblade Master of balance. _ That light from so long ago still shines from the boy’s heart and Terra can feel his respond.

He puts a hand to Riku’s shoulder. “You’ll help a lot of people.” Riku flushes, but dips his chin in acceptance of the praise.

Riku pulls his phone out, an obvious redirection, and frowns. “We should probably go in. Master Yen Sid wanted me before lunch.” He stands.

Terra frowns and looks for Ven and Aqua. Aqua is going over a disarming maneuver with Kairi and Sora; Ventus and Roxas are taking turns shooting beams of light into the air, trying to see who can go the highest. Everything is normal, fine. He takes a breath and stands as well. “Yes, let’s go.”

Nobody notices their departure and Terra tries to keep that warm feeling of peace close. All of their friends are nearby. Even if something happens, if they can’t help with this, it will be fine.

Master Yen Sid is waiting in his office. They both bow and he waves a hand for them to take a seat. “No doubt you have already guessed that I have asked you two here for your assistance with the darkness. Riku, you are a master of your darkness as well as your light. Terra, you shed the yoke of Xehanort, pushing his darkness back out of your heart after fighting against it for a decade. You are both wielders of great strength and ones that understand that darkness is not something that can simply be eradicated.”   


“This is why I have asked you to come. Our new resident is suffering greatly from the darkness, both that which he was born of and that that was thrust upon him. He is in turmoil and his situation cannot be resolved by traditional means. To expose him to the light without care would kill him. But, if he does not manage to find balance within himself and bring his darkness and light back together, then he will perish.”

Terra swallows past a dry throat and stares down at his hands. He’s aware of Riku asking a question, something about Vanitas’s form, but it buzzes in his ears. Him, fighting off Xehanort? Not quite. His hands have scars he doesn’t remember getting, not in full, the same snatches of things that haunt his nightmares.

_ Young and rebellious and rude. He should have triumphed and instead he must rebuild the boy and bring him properly in line again. He stares down at Vanitas, crumpled and retching in the dirt and feels nothing but disgust. _

_ “If you cannot master yourself, then you are useless,” he says. _

_ Vanitas shudders and keeps his head bowed. His voice is hoarse when he speaks. “I will, Master. I’ll do whatever you wish.” _

_ The silver key in his hand is heavy and he swings it into the boy’s side. Vanitas scrapes over the ground, scrambling to stop his momentum, and clasps a hand to his side.  _

_ “Get up,” he orders. “Get up and show me that you’re no longer the pathetic shard that was destroyed by the light.” _

_ Vanitas staggers to his feet, calling his keyblade to hand. His face when he looks up is blank, emotion locked behind his eyes. “Yes, Master,” he says and charges at him. _

_ The engagement ends the same, Vanitas crumpled on the ground.  _ **_Weak_ ** _. He shakes his head. “Again, Vanitas. Or do you want to be nothing again, destroyed by the light so not even a scrap of you remains?” _

_ The boy stands up and now there is nothing in his face, his eyes as flat and empty as the rest of him. “No, Master.” But the flat tone is not obedience, it is weakness, it is an embracing of defeat. _

_ Rage fills him and he swings at Vanitas again. _

“Terra?” Someone has a hand to his shoulder and he jumps. Riku is looking at him in concern. “You started sweating bullets. You don’t have to come with me. I doubt Vanitas will attack me.”

His mouth tastes like paper and he swallows twice, trying to make the words come. A broom shoves its way between him and Riku and offers a tea cup. Terra takes it and notes how he’s shaking. He takes a sip and the muscles in his neck relax, whatever is in the tea soothing his body if not his mind.

Riku stays at his side and Terra wonders how often he’ll lean on those younger than him now. He wraps both hands around the cup. “My apologies, Master Yen Sid, Riku. I...remembered something.”

“Something that troubles you,” Master Yen Sid replies, stroking his beard. “Riku is right, Terra. You do not need to push yourself while still recovering. You have been through much.”

“No, it’s okay. I think...it’ll help.” Terra takes another sip and nods at Riku. Riku squeezes his shoulder and then retakes his seat. “M-Xehanort was Vanitas’s master as well as the one who was possessing the vessels.”

Master Yen Sid nods. “Indeed. His is the darkness that has thrown Vanitas into turmoil. I cannot see the shape of what Xehanort did, but we know enough to make educated guesses. You remembered something about this? That could be invaluable.”

Terra nods slowly. “He...Xehanort trained Vanitas.”  **_Hurt_ ** _ him _ ,  _ but it wasn’t really him. His keyblade is brown not silver _ . “He was dissatisfied with Vanitas when he brought him back. He wasn’t strong enough for what Xehanort wanted. He was getting tired of simply training him without making any progress.”

Riku frowns and drums his fingers on the arms of his chair. “So, Vanitas wasn’t immediately possessed?”

“It doesn’t seem like it. Vanitas was doing what Xehanort wanted when we met him the first time. He didn’t need to be possessed, I don’t think. He was a creature of darkness and Xehanort taught him everything he knew. Vanitas worked with him willingly, I think. But this time, Vanitas seemed...not as driven in the way Xehanort wanted. Xehanort was furious with him. I don’t think Vanitas will want to see me help with his darkness.” Terra squeezes the cup as his voice trails off.

It might not have been  _ him _ , but his arm brought the keyblade down again and again.

The room is very quiet and then Master Yen Sid sets his cup down on his desk. “I believe we shall have to ask the boy in question. Enjoy your tea and then I would ask you to go see him. Vanitas will need to be receptive to our measures, so it is best to involve him in the discussion immediately. It may very well be that he knows exactly what’s needed.”

“Yes, sir.”

Terra has no idea what Vanitas needs. All he can offer is an apology for being the vessel for Xehanort’s cruelty. ‘ _ All he had for four years was Xehanort _ ,’ Ven had said. _ And then Xehanort again once he was back _ .

To have lived that scene over and over again in the name of training...Terra wonders how often Vanitas wished for nothingness over one more minute of his life. To give up, to give in, the only thing that stopped Terra from doing so was the thought of his friends getting hurt. What motivated Vanitas?

_ Vanitas puts a hand to the girl’s shoulder and squeezes. She smiles, she laughs. Ven pulls Vanitas close and Roxas makes a face at the two of them.  _

Maybe they have more in common than he thought.

Terra sets his cup down and stands up. He bows to Master Yen Sid. “Thank you, sir, for believing in me.”

Master Yen Sid’s smile is kind. “You are a strong and brilliant man, Terra. I know that you will do all that you can.”

Terra bows again, Riku doing the same at his side.  _ I just hope it’s enough to help. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, chapter 15 was a breather. We're getting into more of the nitty-gritty of what's wrong with Vanitas now and especially in the next chapter.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A direct continuation of the last chapter, but with more Riku! Let's actually get into some meat about the star of this fic, shall we?

It’s strange how much the Tower seems to reflect his own mood. Riku would swear it’s gotten gloomier since they left Yen Sid’s office, despite the time of day. The Tower usually feels peaceful, cheerful even with everyone around and enjoying the end of the war. Sunshine should be coming in through the windows, even the dusky version that shines around the tower. Instead, it feels like the shadows have lengthened, covering the floor.

He should be more confident; he’s a Keyblade Master with all the capitalization that entails. Sora and Kairi, Yen Sid and Mickey, and even Terra have faith in him and what he can do. Too bad he has no idea how to take what he did for himself and teach it to someone else.

Riku glances at Terra; the man is staring straight down the hall, face and shoulders set as they make their way toward the room. He seems prepared for this, setting his doubts aside to help his friend’s dark half despite everything he’s been through. Riku feels about as ready to help someone with their darkness as he was when he tried to ride a surfboard for the first time.

This could turn out much worse than swallowing some salt water and being laughed at by his friends.

He swallows and forces his hands to relax. They’re just talking; he can manage talking.

Terra stops in front of the right door and looks to Riku. “Ready?”

“As much as I can be. You want me to go first?”

Some kind of upset flickers over Terra’s face and he nods. “Yeah, I don’t want him to think I’m coming to...do anything.”

“I’m sure Ven talked to him.” Riku lifts his hand and knocks. There’s no answer and he glances at Terra.

Terra shrugs. “Maybe he’s asleep?”

“We shouldn’t bother him, but one more time to check can’t hurt.” Riku lifts his hand and knocks again, a bit louder. It’d be rude to employ the same force he uses against Sora’s bedroom door, but he wonders if it’ll be necessary in the future. Maybe sleeping like a log is heart-genetic. Shit, maybe it was Ven’s fault all along.

There’s still no answer and Riku sighs. “Okay, let me just...stick my head in. Let’s hope he doesn’t have the energy for an ambush.” 

Terra snorts and quickly covers it with a cough. Riku turns the handle and pushes the door open wide enough for him to lean in. There’s a lump under the covers of the bed and Riku bites his lip. He’s already here, so… “Vanitas,” he calls softly. “You awake?”

There’s no answer, but the creeping feeling of darkness at the edge of his senses spikes. He’s definitely awake. Riku pushes the door open a bit further. “Hey, we’re here to talk to you about what we can do to help. We can’t do anything without your input, might as well stop pretending you’re asleep and help us help you.”

Vanitas sits up, glaring. “They think  _ you _ can help  _ me _ . Cute.”

It really is unnerving seeing Sora’s face with bright gold eyes and a cold expression. He told Ven a couple days ago that he couldn’t imagine Sora glaring at him like that, and it’s true, he can’t. There’s a thinness to Vanitas’s face as well, cheeks not quite as round, pulled down into a scowl instead of upward into a smile. Wariness keeps Vanitas tense, something Sora almost never displays outside of battle. Riku’s fingers itch to ease the tension from Vanitas’s shoulders, certain that they’d feel much the same as Sora’s.

And that will absolutely get him into trouble and probably down a hand.

Riku shrugs and pushes the door open all the way. “They think it’s worth discussing, so why not. You can’t get much worse off.” Riku had felt the way every muscle in Vanitas’s body had gone tight, his body curling in on itself out of some kind of unimaginable pain. He can’t guess at what would have happened had Ven not settled things down.

Vanitas stares at him appraisingly, hands hidden beneath the blankets. Riku can see the muscles of his dominant arm flex and then relax. Vanitas inhales and nods. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.” He looks out the window by the bed, face held unnaturally still.

Riku watches him as he comes in and pulls two chairs up. Vanitas is definitely waiting for him, refusing to admit that he’s keeping a careful eye on all his movements. Riku is reminded very much of a wild animal trapped and waiting for an opening. He sits down, hands in his lap, and looks at Terra in the doorway.

“Vanitas,” Terra says, voice carefully calm. “Is it alright if I join you?”

Darkness flares around Vanitas, behind him and around the edges of his face. Riku brings an arm up to guard his chest, watching carefully, but the feeling condenses and than fades back to a subtle simmer. Vanitas’s face is even flatter than before. “Whatever.”

Riku can feel whatever Vanitas made as it hides under the bed. Well, so long as it doesn’t try to attack them, it’s fine. He relaxes his arm, rubbing his wrist as Terra takes a seat. The air is so thick, he wishes  _ any _ of their friends were here to help break it.

It’s his responsibility this time. Riku takes a breath and rests his hands in his lap. Vanitas is staring out the window still, resolute on not showing them anything. Terra is sitting ridiculously straight in his chair, hands clenched on the arms. Riku can’t believe he’s the most functional person in the room.

“Vanitas, Master Yen Sid asked the two of us to come speak with you because we’re more familiar with darkness. He wants us to help you since you’re...in trouble.” That’s really not a good way to put it, but Riku struggles to find a better one.

“So, the old bastard  _ is _ smart enough to realize that purging me with light is a bad idea. I’m impressed.” Vanitas’s voice is flat, uncaring. “The next step is throwing my not-yet-lifeless body at you two. Fantastic, this will be effective.”

Riku shrugs. “It might be. You have to work with us and see what happens. What other choice do you have?”

Vanitas’s gaze slides to him, face still pointed at the window. The yellow is sharp, uncomfortably familiar, but Riku stares back. If Vanitas wants to be difficult, Riku will match him. He knows what it’s like to feel lost and hurt, where all you want to do is lash out at everyone who, it feels like, left you behind. Sometimes, you have to be smacked in the face with the truth: you’re the one causing the distance and being the problem.

He’s almost entirely sure that Vanitas knows he’s being a pain in the ass; the question is if he wants to change that.

The gold disappears for a second as Vanitas blinks. He turns more and faces Riku. “Fair point. Ventus will kick my ass if I start throwing you assholes out of our room without trying something.” His eyes jump to Terra and then back to Riku. “What did the old wizard tell you about me?”

Alright, apparently Terra was right and Vanitas doesn’t trust him. Riku can, hopefully, work around that. “He didn’t tell us a lot. All he’s been able to discern is that your natural state of being is fighting against darkness that was forced on you. It has you out of balance or something.”

Terra nods, but stays silent and Vanitas doesn’t spare him a glance. “That’s  _ a _ way to describe it, I guess. Thought he would have been more invasive about it.” Vanitas puts a hand over his chest, almost unconsciously. “Good job, you’re right that I’m darkness. But, I’m not  _ out of balance _ . I’m not like you people; I can take in more darkness and deal with it. This isn’t that.”

“What is it?”

“Deterioration,” Vanitas says flatly. “I was always slightly unstable in form, we both were until your friend intervened. I thought that was obvious. I can literally  _ manifest _ my emotions. That’s not a sign of a healthy body.”

Terra frowns. “But emotions come from the heart.”

Vanitas rolls his eyes. “It’s often one and the same, especially for me. Do I have a physical form? Yes. But it’s not a body, not in the same way yours is.”

“So, your form is deteriorating which hasn’t happened before.” Riku crosses his arms loosely over his chest and leans back. “Why?”

Vanitas’s glare sharpens. “I’ve been broken before, stupid. What do you think Ventus did the first time? He shattered us both and  _ almost _ killed us. Obviously, this is different. That was a literal shattering of our hearts, but this is...slower. It’s like a breakdown of a part that’s been used too much...from what I can tell.”

“How do you know?”

“I checked. Ventus can see a bit of it too thanks to our connection.” Vanitas flattens the hand still resting on his chest. “I was never meant to exist for long like this after following orders. After our little confrontation, my form’s giving out. Same thing happened with Ventus, but I forced him to forge the x-blade with me instead of disappearing.”

He sounds so certain, but there’s a hesitance in his eyes. Riku frowns. “But Master Yen Sid said there was more than just  _ you _ causing the problem.”

Vanitas’s eyes land on Terra and then jerk away. “Well if he’s so smart, then maybe he should try giving you real answers instead of vague bullshit. I’m falling apart, not getting taken over by some other darkness. Stupid.”

Lost, Riku looks over at Terra. Does he have any idea what the hell is going on? Vanitas keeps glancing at him, maybe he should know something.

Terra has a hand to his chin and is frowning hard. Like he can feel Riku’s gaze, he looks up, but looks at Vanitas instead.

“But you were. Xehanort had control of you twice.” It’s short, firm, and Vanitas clearly doesn’t like it. 

Vanitas bares his teeth and hisses through them. With the bedhead, it really makes him look like a pissed off cat. There’s nothing funny about the cold rage in Vanitas’s gold eyes. “Don’t act like you’re better than me. I know you both were too.”

Terra holds his hands up. “No, Vanitas, it’s not that. I’m not saying it’s your fault or anything. It’s...well, the whole point of vessels was for him to put his heart into them, right?”

Still tense, Vanitas nods slowly.

“Right, so he did that. And then Sora and his friends stopped Xehanort and then that...stopped being a thing.”

“Vague,” Vanitas interrupts. “What stopped being a thing?”

“His heart shards aren’t in the former vessels any longer,” Riku answers. “Ienzo and the others arrived yesterday to examine them. Their hearts are their own again.”

Vanitas frowns and looks down at the covers. “Okay, that’s...great, I guess. I’m different.”

“Right,” Terra agrees, picking up his argument again. “You are. Xehanort used you twice and besides that...you’re made of more darkness than anyone.” He frowns. “You were...frustrating to m-him on top of it. He knew there was the chance you’d act out and not follow the plan. You did it before.”

A small smirk grows on Vanitas’s face. “He’s not  _ entirely _ an idiot. Of course I was going to, but then he-.” He stops dead, face going paler. The hand on his chest squeezes, pulling the suit tighter.

Terra swallows. “I don’t...remember it all, but there was the idea of…” He glances at Riku who nods. They need to know. He inhales and exhales slowly. “There was the idea that if you were more Xehanort, there’d be less of you to act out. If he put more of himself into you to try and control you then...when it was taken out.”

Riku’s eyes widen. “It would take out more than it did the others.”

“I think.” Terra twists his hands together in his lap. “And if Vanitas is made of darkness and that’s what was mostly getting it removed, then it would...cause problems, right?” He looks at the boy in question.

Vanitas is still pale, eyes wide, and making some strange movements with his jaw, but he looks up. “It...could be. I don’t know what he did. It...smothered me.” It sounds like the words are hard for him to force out. Riku’s sure he’s never had to be this vulnerable with near strangers before.

“If that was it...I have no idea what to do. I don’t know how to stabilize hearts. Didn’t Sora’s only work because he was young?”

“Yes,” Vanitas answers and leans back against the headboard. The shadows behind him coalesce into a rabbit shape with sad eyes. He doesn’t notice and it hides under the blankets before Riku can give it a better look. “Hearts are  _ usually _ supposed to protect themselves from outside forces. Sora’s an exception, not the norm. The only thing that I know to stabilize my heart is off the table.”

Terra frowns. “We’ll need to see what we can find out. There must be something that can be done. Heart injuries can’t be...entirely unheard of.”

Vanitas scoffs at that, but doesn’t argue. He looks back out the window, thinking or observing.

Playing with the end of his sleeve, Riku tries to think as well. But he has no formal training in this. What the heck would he know? Not much. He sighs. “Alright. We’ll need to speak with Master Yen Sid and see what we can find out. He’ll probably recommend a closer look at your heart, Vanitas. Are you alright with that?”

“Depends,” Vanitas answers sharply. “I’m not letting anyone stomp around in my heart.”

It’s not a ‘no’ and Riku will take it. “Right, of course.” He pushes himself to his feet. “I’ll report to Master Yen Sid. Get some rest.”

Vanitas blows a raspberry at him and throws in a middle finger for good measure. Riku laughs as he goes to leave. “Take your medicine.”

“I’ll stab you, see if I won’t.”

Terra smiles and stands as well, but the expression drops off quickly. He crosses the room, but pauses in the doorway; Riku glances back at him from the hall.

Terra meets Vanitas’s gaze which narrows. His mouth opens, but Terra interrupts him quickly. He has to say this,  _ he has to _ .

“I’m sorry for what Xehanort did to you through me. It never should have happened and I’ll make sure it never happens again.”

Vanitas’s mouth hangs open for a second, shock written all over his face. He snaps his mouth shut and turns away, the flush over his cheeks very obvious. “Whatever,” he mutters. “It happened and there’s no changing it.”

“No, but I’m sorry.” Terra bows to him and then leaves, shutting the door behind him.

They stand in silence in the hall for a minute. Riku reaches and squeezes Terra’s shoulder. “Wanna spar after we report to Yen Sid? I saw those moves you were doing.”

Terra smiles at him. “Katas. I could teach you a few of them. They take patience.”

“Better count Sora out then.”

Chuckling, Terra pats the hand on his shoulder and then takes the lead back to the office. The hallway seems lighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very interested to see if anyone has ideas on what they're going to try to help Vanitas. I'm actually caught between two very similar ideas at the moment, because I want to see how a couple upcoming chapters shape things.
> 
> Thank you all for continuing to read this fic!!


	18. Chapter 18

He’s sorry. _Terra’s_ sorry.

Terra apologized to _him_.

This is completely backwards. He and Ventus had talked about the various apologies he owed to those he had hurt and here Terra comes to flip it all around.

Vanitas can’t understand it. Terra had been used by the old man; none of it was actually his fault. Vanitas knowingly attacked, tricked, and manipulated the three of them along with the old man. He _actually_ owes apologies to Ventus’s friends. Why would Terra feel guilty about it? Did he remember something?

His stomach turns over. He doesn’t want any of them to know; he doesn’t want Terra to remember. If the others know, there will be pity. If Terra remembers, he’ll know Vanitas’s weakness. _And if they know weakness, they will use it against him_.

He flips onto his other side, staring at the window. He can’t get comfortable, anxiety and frustration and confusion sending his thoughts in endless circles. It prickles over his skin, his emotions, the sickness inside him, the _lack_.

He thought he couldn’t be lacking any more than he was born without.

Vanitas sits up quickly, ignoring how it makes his head spin. He needs air, space, anything other than this room and more people asking him questions. He needs to not think so much for a bit. The latch on the windows is easy to open and he shoves them wide. The breeze cools his skin and he breathes deeply. It’s different from the dry wind of the wasteland and different from a warm sea breeze he half-recalls. It’s not bad even if the magic all around this place makes him want to sneeze.

He looks down several floors to where he can see a whole group of them training. He knew Ventus bolted out of bed to go join them, quickly saying something about Vanitas getting some more rest, but it’s nice to see that they didn’t go far. Vanitas puts his chin on his hand and observes them.

Ventus is trading blows with Aqua, frowning as he tries to get past her constant blocks and quick dodges. Vanitas can’t help but smirk, knowing exactly how frustrating Aqua’s movements are. Roxas and Xion aren’t far away; Xion is stretching her arms out as Roxas slowly moves through some exercise Aqua must have shown them. He looks up with some comment and Xion laughs. Vanitas can’t bite back a small smile of his own. It’s...nice to see them, even if he’ll never join them.

None of them have noticed him watching yet and he doesn’t intend to sit there until they do. Stay in bed? No way, not when he’s this twitchy. Straightening up, he twists around and looks above the window. They’re right under the roof, of course they are thanks to Ventus, and the lip of it sticks out almost a foot past the window.

He eyes it, debating his health and the gap and what he can do. If he wanted to be careful, he could just compress himself into the shadows and then climb up that way. He doesn’t feel like doing that, not when he’s not sure that this...issue won’t become worse by dark power use. He stretches his hands a little and then swings himself to sitting on the windowsill.

A glance down shows that they’re all still busy with their drills and what not, so Vanitas is in the clear. He makes sure his balance is as good as its going to get for now, and then reaches up and out to grab the edge of the roof. It’s not very good for grabbing, but even sick he can do this. He pushes off the windowsill with his feet and flexes his arms until he flips over and up onto the roof.

His back smacks against the roof tiles, driving his breath out in a huff, but he’s able to suck in more air without sliding back off. Vanitas coughs and sits up slowly. He’s slightly dizzy, but not enough to topple over. The view and the air are much better up here. He turns so his feet are pointed toward the edge of the roof and then lies down to stare up at the stars. The tiles are warm against his back like they cooked under the sun for several hours. It’s pleasant, not enough to burn.

The best thing is he doesn’t feel caged up. The bed’s nice, great even that there’s room enough for two, but the walls are too close and he’s never lived _inside_ in his life. He doesn’t do well with walls and closed doors.

Vanitas closes his eyes for a couple slow breaths. The breeze tugs at the spikes of his hair and chases some of the sweat on his forehead away. He wishes he could feel it over his arms; he needs new clothes. He’s sick of the suit. He burned the coat, but this is another thing that feels like _his_ and he wants it all gone. He wants to choose.

He sighs. _Picky, picky. You think they’ll let you? You think you’ll survive that long? They have no answers and who’s to say they’ll think it’s worth the struggle? They’ll be dabbling in dark magic and don’t the lights hate that!_ But even Vanitas knows that’s not entirely true. He’s seen Sora’s silver-haired friend, the one Roxas dislikes, and the way his darkness curls around him. He’s seen how he uses it, not so different from how Vanitas does. He’s seen Riku look at him, honesty in his eyes, and not lying about how he doesn’t have all the answers.

Maybe, these new little wielders know a bit more than the old. They certainly seem smarter than biased old Eraqus.

Vanitas looks up at the sky, a million stars twinkling in the distance. They always seemed so far away, only worth visiting to do as ordered and draw the trio out and into the trap waiting to spring. Then, they were places to fruitlessly search until finally, _finally_ he found the spark wrapped in a boy’s heart; Ventus at last close again.

And then like so many things, it was snatched from his grip. He failed.

Even when he’d reported back and been disciplined for it, he was almost _glad_ . His master was going to lose again and he was _glad_.

Then he’d felt nothing at all, dark power flooding through him until he was almost a puppet on strings. That thought had sparked something, but it was drowned out under the dark smog.

He’s grinding his teeth together, the inside of his cheek caught between them. He forces himself to stop and relax; the iron taste of his blood doesn’t ground him anymore.

It happened, just like he told Terra. There’s no changing the past. But, if he works with them, if they actually want to help him instead of putting him in a new sort of shackles...he might finally get to make the choice he wants.

_I want this_ . And he does. He wants Ventus in a way that makes him feel vulnerable and weak, but it’s _okay_ because Ventus is...Ventus is the better half of them.

Vanitas sits up and hugs a knee. They’re still down there, playing and training and it’s stupid and silly and he remembers the same from Ventus’s training years ago. He remembers the jealousy and hate that ate him up as he felt what Ventus felt, that overwhelming happiness to have friends and love while Vanitas had nothing but bitter hate and disgust.

As he spots Xion and Roxas and Ventus all together, comparing styles and keyblades and magic under Aqua and Terra’s watchful eyes, he wishes he could join them and not be _bothered_. He wishes he could be there and have it be uncommented on, just a thing that is fine and normal. He wishes he’d had it years ago instead of empty canyons, howling winds, and a dull silver keyblade above him.

_I’m sorry for what he did through me_.

It almost sounds like Vanitas didn’t deserve it, even when he was a monster who knowingly helped them into a trap.

He wishes he could believe he deserves the apology.

He aches down to his bones, sharp and stabbing and different from the Unversed.

 

_I want..._

_I want_ **_this_** _._

_I want you._

_I want to be worthy of what you give to me_.

 

Nothing is given easily, not to the likes of him. Vanitas is used to working himself to the bone to get scraps of what might someday be happiness. This might be the closest he ever gets again. Earn it, work for it, or give up and fade into nothing?

Ventus’s smile, the arms wrapped around him tight, both of them clinging because above all else they know each other.

Xion watching him carefully, a wrinkle between her eyebrows as she carefully considers his words as if he might be wise.

Roxas staring at an ice cream stick in his hand and confessing that he wishes, sometimes, that he’d never come back to his other.

Sora eyeing him cautiously, but with a shred of hope in his ocean blue eyes.

The beach that held them all, warm and safe and healing, until he was drug under the waves, sand sliding through his fingers.

_I want to go home_.

It’s no choice at all.

* * *

 

Vanitas stands before the desk of yet another old man who would give him orders and looks him in the eyes. He’s had enough of old masters. He stands there and he says what will be done.

“They say they need a better look, fine, I agree. I’d rather a whole picture than trying half-thought out ideas because you’re fumbling through blindly. But, I’m not letting just anyone in my heart.”

The old man nods, accepting, and Vanitas takes a breath and continues.

“Ventus comes in, he’s a stabilizing influence on me. But, I don’t know if it’ll cause a reaction so we need someone else in there just in case. Sora sheltered us and I think he can help the stabilization. Then there’s only one of you that I think will actually have an idea on what to do.”

“Ventus and Sora will dive into my heart and Riku will come with them to see what he can do.”

There’s quiet for a moment and then the old man nods again. “Very wise, Vanitas. We will prepare the three of them for it. You should rest for one day more and then we will give your heart a thorough look so that our real work can begin.”

Vanitas, hands folded behind his back to hide their slight shake, nods.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments on last chapter! I love seeing people's thoughts on where we might be going and how we'll bandage dear Vanitas up. We're not getting to the dive just yet, because we've got one wonderful character that hasn't gotten her due yet!
> 
> Enjoy!

Radiant Garden is a beautiful place even in the midst of reconstruction. The noise of people going about their lives, the creak of machinery moving and workers shouting back and forth over it, and the rush of the repaired fountains always speak to a city that is returning to its former glory.

Naminé taps her heels against the bricks of the low wall and looks up at the sky. It’s slightly overcast today and she’s thankful. The sun is not nearly so kind to her new skin as it was to Kairi while she dwelled within her heart. Rain would be fine too, but she’d prefer to stay here with the pleasant breeze and not have to duck for cover.

She runs her fingers over the bag resting on her lap. The soft canvas easily fits the few things she’s gathered since she was given a body of her own: a sketchbook, colored pencils, a phone, and a couple seashells carefully zipped into another little bag to protect them. It’s all  _ hers, _ just like this body, and she takes care of all of it. She doesn’t want anything to get soaked.

Someone jogs past her, people are always busy here, and she curls forward a little. It’s...strange to take up space doing nothing and not be in trouble for it. She’s allowed to sit and wait for her friends and try not to worry about not being  _ right _ . Try, mostly, because she does worry. Ienzo and the others said she was fine, that she was free to go wherever and do what she wanted. They hadn’t asked a thing more of her.

It’s unsettling and she doesn’t like to think on it too much now. Where will she go? What will she do? She’s not sure; the future extends so very far in front of her.

The immediate future, today, has been made easy. Kairi called and asked if she wanted to run some errands with her and Xion. It’s going to be fun even if Naminé thinks she’ll be no help at all with whatever errands Kairi has to do.

“There she is! Naminé!” Kairi’s voice carries across the courtyard and Naminé jumps to her feet. She waves back and wipes her hands on her shorts and hopes everything goes right today. Maybe if it does, it’ll start feeling real. Her  _ life _ will start feeling real.

Kairi hugs her once they’re close enough, still a shock, but a pleasant one. Xion just waves, her other hand tucked into the pocket of a jacket that looks too big for her. They look unhurt and well-rested. Naminé spoke over the phone with Kairi, Riku, and Sora after, but it’s not the same as seeing them in person.

She adjusts the straps of her bag tucked carefully under one arm and holds it in place. “What do you need to do?”

“ _ We _ ,” Kairi emphasizes, “are here on the most important of missions.” She pauses for effect and then holds her arms out to her sides like an actor on a stage. “We’re here to get new clothes.”

Xion and Naminé trade a look. Xion subtly shakes her head. No, she doesn’t know why Kairi considers this worth a pronouncement.

Naminé tugs the ends of her hair and tries to think of the words she wants. “We...have clothes already? I mean, you took me right away when I got my body.” She gestures to the white shorts and bright blue blouse she put on this morning.

Kairi’s hands drop to her hips. “Yeah, and it was fun, right? Well now Xion needs clothes that aren’t scrambled together pieces from the rest of us and we’re also grabbing a couple things for somebody else.”

Naminé’s forehead wrinkles. Who else would need clothes? Roxas? He could have come.

“Vanitas,” Xion answers, noticing the look. “He’s only got that old suit and he hates it. He’s not allowed to leave the tower until he stops having a fever, so I told Kairi we should get him something.”

“Is he doing okay?” Naminé falls into step beside Xion as Kairi takes the lead toward Radiant Garden’s shops.

Kairi scoffs in front of them, but doesn’t expand on her thoughts. Xion rolls her eyes and puts both her hands in the jacket’s pockets. “He’s doing alright. He still has the fever and he’s sleeping a good amount. Ven seems to think he’s doing a bit better, but I don’t think any of us will relax until we know for certain what’s wrong.”

She kicks a stone, sending it skittering over the road. “Tomorrow’s the day and I know I won’t be able to focus at all until they’re back. Roxas and I are going to keep watch while they do it. It’ll probably be boring, but it’s better than wandering around and not knowing something might be wrong.”

Xion pauses and a smile tugs at her lips. “He’s doing well enough to climb onto the roof. Ven found him up there yesterday, just taking a nap. They have a  _ bed _ and he got up on the roof instead.” She laughs and Naminé giggles too.

She’s not very familiar with Vanitas. She knows him best as a very dark piece that didn’t belong to Sora’s memories that hurt to touch. He had known very little happiness in his life and it made her hurt to feel, echoes of her own feelings about long white halls and angry black-gloved hands. She wants him to be happy, to get a chance like she is.

Kairi pivots and starts walking backward so she can look at them. “Riku told me that he’s the one who picked the dive team. So, either he wants to do something drastic to escape or he actually wants to do better. If it’s the first one, he really messed up asking for Sora and Riku to come. They could kick his ass.”

“He wants help. Don’t be rude.” Xion frowns at her. “I know he was a huge dirtbag, but that was Xehanort’s fault. He’s actually...really kind.”

“Kind,” Kairi repeats drily. “I’ll cop to him caring about you guys and Ven, but I don’t think he’s kind.”

“You don’t know him like I do, so...you’re wrong about this.” The jacket pulls a bit tighter around Xion’s shoulders as she fists her hands in the pockets. Naminé wants to take her hand, show her support. It’s so hard to stand up to the powerful, the ones that hold your identity in their hands.  _ Kairi doesn’t even know. _ She tightens her hands on her bag straps.

Kairi shrugs. “Probably. But I’m not letting him off easily. Sora’s too kind and empathetic, Riku wants to give everyone the chances he thinks he didn’t deserve. One of us has to be tougher.” Her eyes are steel. “I’m not going to be mean to him, but he’s going to have to prove it to me. He can start with an apology.” She turns back around and her voice is softer. “I trust you, Xion, and Ven.”

The air feels a tiny bit lighter and Xion sighs. “Good. Just give him some time.”

Naminé plays with the ends of her hair. The silence might grow and become uncomfortable so she rushes into the gap. “What do you think he likes?”

“Um, I don’t really know? I haven’t ever bought clothes before. I don’t know what I want either, but Kairi insisted…” Xion hunches a bit, pulling the jacket tighter again. Naminé reaches out and puts a hand to her shoulder.

“That’s okay. We can look at a lot of things. Kairi and I tried on what felt like a million clothes before I could decide.”

Kairi slows down and takes Xion’s other side. “It can be fun! You get to pick and it can be whatever you want. I’m looking for some new sleep pants. The last thing I need is getting a hole somewhere and then Sora picking at it till its the size of my knee. He always fidgets with loose threads. The fact that all his buttons stayed on his new clothes is a miracle born of magic.”

Xion snorts. “Roxas fidgets all the time too. That big thing on his zipper? He plays with it all the time and he chews popsicle sticks.”

“You don’t want to know how often Riku and I tell Sora to stop chewing on his necklace chain.”

“Ew, does he clean it?”

Naminé makes a face. “I really, really hope so.”

“He  _ better _ ,” Kairi says as she slows down even further. “I didn’t buy him polish for it for him to not!”

“You expect a lot out of him.” Xion looks past Kairi to the windows of the shop they’ve reached. “Are those all dresses?”

Naminé steps closer to peer into the window. “I think so. Does Vanitas like skirts?”

Xion blinks. “His suit has like a half one… Does that count?” They both look at Kairi.

She holds both hands up. “I don’t know if that means he likes skirts. Maybe? Maybe he just likes stupid buttcapes. I’ll text Ven while you guys look around.” She swings the door open and bows them in.

Xion looks ready to balk so Naminé gently pushes on her arm. “It’s alright,” she whispers. “She won’t get mad if you don’t like anything in here and want to go somewhere else.” Xion’s eyes are very blue up close. Naminé has seen similar, even in her own face, but Xion’s make her want to be braver. She smiles at her. “I got a couple shirts here last time; it’s not all skirts.”

“Good.” Xion swallows and then pulls her hand from her pocket to take Naminé’s. Her grip is a bit tight. “Show me where?”

Feeling almost light-headed, Naminé nods and leads her past the racks at the front of the store.

They flick through blouses and skirts and a dress or two, Xion awkwardly mumbling about colors she thinks she’d like and Naminé trying to be encouraging without coming across as too cloying. Kairi makes it easier when she catches up, declaring that Xion can wear whatever she wants, but maybe yellows and greens aren’t really her colors.

It’s fun and all three of them go into changing rooms, giggling more than a bit.

Naminé didn’t grab much, but she does pull on a couple of her choices. She tries to smile at herself in the mirror; it’s getting easier every time. It feels very good to feel  _ human _ .

She leaves her stall, pulling a piece of lint from her shorts, and catches Xion’s eye as she peeks from the one next door. “Everything alright?”

Xion bites her lip and then waves Naminé closer. No one else is around and Xion pulls the door open a bit further. “Does this look...good?” She’s exchanged the jacket and the pants she was wearing for a skirt and blouse in black and white respectively.

It looks great and Naminé isn’t sure why she’s distracted by the sight. She nods quickly and smiles at Xion. “It’s nice!”

“I’m not sure about the skirt.” Xion tugs on its end. “I feel like I might get cold and it wouldn’t work for training.”

“Twilight Town is actually pretty warm. I was always surprised at how you guys didn’t get hot in those coats.” Naminé adjusts the items she might get over her arm. “We can look for pants or capris even. Right, Kairi?”

“Right!” comes the call from the still closed door. 

Xion relaxes a little. “Good. I think I want more pants, but the skirt is nice.” She glances at Naminé, flushes, and then ducks back in. “Thank you.”

Naminé feels a little hot herself and moves away to look around. She doesn’t know Vanitas, but it can’t hurt to try and find things he might like. She doesn’t have any luck by the time Kairi comes to get her to pay for their things, but Xion holds the bag of hers tight and can’t stop smiling. Naminé matches it, heart thumping in her chest.

The next store is one with darker colors and warmer looking clothes. Xion dives in gladly while Naminé takes her bag. Kairi leaves them to it, flicking through her phone and leaning against the wall.

“This, for sure, and this, maybe this? Is that the price? Geez, I should get Ven to pay us back some…” Xion is talking quietly to herself as she pulls things off the racks. Naminé tilts her head, trying to decipher the pile. A leather jacket has Xion squinting at the price tag now, but the clothes over her arm are a dark jumble.

It only takes a second for her to get it. “Oh, are these for Vanitas?”

Xion nods and keeps a hold of the jacket. “Yeah. It should be stuff that he’s comfortable in, I think. I’m kinda surprised he hasn’t stolen any of Ven’s clothes actually. Maybe he’s only got the one set at the moment.”

Naminé shrugs. She has no clue about the status of things at the tower. “He likes black?”

Something about the way she says it makes Xion snort. She hangs the jacket over her arm. “Yeah, well, he likes black and white.”

“Like Roxas?”

“Well...that’s more like a square pattern. Vanitas and Ven have this thing with like split sides.” Xion gestures, drawing a line down the middle of her chest. “When we were with Sora, they both wore stuff like that. So, I think it’ll make Vanitas more comfortable. The jacket is just because it’ll look cool. He’s really cool.”

Naminé scuffs a foot. “You like him a lot.”

“He’s...he understands what it’s like to not be...real.” Xion looks at the clothes in front of them blankly, rubbing a shirt between her fingers. “We’re not the same. But, we’ve felt some of the same stuff.” Xion swallows and Naminé wishes she could take her hand again, apologize  _ again _ . “It was awful when he disappeared.”

“W-Well he’s back now and he’ll be okay!” Naminé is glad her voice doesn’t shake. It  _ will  _ be okay. Riku and Kairi and Sora can help and it’ll be okay. She puts her hand to Xion’s arm. “I’m glad you had someone to talk to.”

Xion’s small smile brightens the space around them. “I can’t wait for you to meet him. He was really interested in our stories about you.”

Naminé’s cheeks go red. “Oh no, those aren’t  _ good _ stories.”

“You were kind, Naminé. They were good stories even with the hard parts.” Xion covers her hand and squeezes it. “I like this part a lot.”

“Me too,” Naminé says. “I hope we see each other a lot.”

Xion’s eyes widen slightly. “Well, I thought-.”

“Naminé!” Kairi has appeared, phone in hand. “Riku wants to talk to you. They need your help with something. Xion, what did you find?”

“Me?” Naminé takes the phone and holds it up so they can see each other. “Hello, Riku. You need my help with something?”

Riku smiles at her and then Sora has butted his way into the frame beside him. “Hi, Naminé!”

Laughing, Naminé returns his greeting as Riku takes focus again, shoving Sora out by his head. “We’re trying to prepare. Stop goofing off!” He sighs and turns back to the phone. “Hey, sorry for not calling your phone directly. I actually only had the idea while we were talking to Kairi. I’m sure they told you about what we’re doing for Vanitas.”

Naminé nods and scoots a bit away from the aisle so she’s not blocking it. “Yes, but I’m not sure how that connects to me.”

“Well, you’re able to touch everyone that Sora has, right?” Riku leans over a bit so this time Sora doesn’t have to force his way in. “You found the connections to Roxas and Xion and even Ven and his friends. At least that was in the data.”

“Yes,” Naminé says slowly. “That was in the data, because that is what I found while working on Sora’s memories. All those memories I was reconnecting had to be found, so I found links from other people.”

Riku nods while Sora just shrugs. That’s how he’s taken much of the information about his missing memories. She wishes she had his ease. “That got me thinking as we talked about it,” Riku says. “We’re going to be diving into his heart. It’s supposed to be unstable and I don’t know what we’ll do to fix it. But you’ve touched hearts before and since he’s connected to Sora…”

“I might be able to help,” Naminé concludes. “I’m...not sure, Riku. Yes, I can touch the hearts connected to Sora’s but my power is in memories. Memories aren’t what needs fixing, right?”

“Right, yeah, but you know how to put those things back together. You knew about Roxas and Xion. You’ll know more than us and might have ideas we wouldn’t have.”

Sora leans in further, blocking most of Riku’s face. “They were all in my heart, Naminé, and you made sure things were back in order. We could really use your help on this.”

_ It’s nice to be needed _ . Naminé feels warm down to her toes and nods. “I probably won’t be able to help directly, but...I can help look for answers.”

The smiles she gets in response leave her breathless. They’re so kind, all of her friends.

She returns to Kairi and Xion, smiling. “Do you have room for one more on the flight back?”

“Of course we do!” Kairi hugs her and Xion’s eyes are so lit up, Naminé doesn’t even think to ask her about her interrupted thought.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been so excited for this chapter for such a long time. I hope everyone enjoys it!
> 
> It's time for a Conversation(tm).

How do you prepare for diving into someone’s heart? 

Sora has no idea. Every time he’s done it, it’s been an accident or because he was desperate. And it was always  _ his _ heart. He’s not sure how to prepare for someone else’s. Sitting upside down on the couch so the spikes of his hair are brushing the floor seems as good as any other way.

“Your face is going red,” Kairi informs him without looking up. “You’re going to give yourself a headache.”

“That really doesn’t seem healthy, Sora…” Naminé tilts her head to the side, almost to her shoulder. She makes a face and rubs at her neck.

“It’s fine!” Sora crosses his arms, careful not to overbalance and fall forward. “Blood flow is good for thinking, right?”

Riku coughs and mutters, “Among other things.” 

Naminé looks at him, mouth opening, but Kairi is already kicking him in the leg. “Bad. Don’t say that.”

“But I didn’t say it. That’s the whole point.”

“Riku, I will acquaint you with manners if it kills me. King Mickey did a very bad job at raising you.”

Sora laughs as Riku sputters. “You swear the most, Kairi! And you taught me and Riku the lyrics to that one shanty…”

Kairi sniffs and hands her phone to Naminé. “Yes, but Naminé is a lady, unlike me, so we have to be polite.”

“I’m a lady,” Naminé repeats quietly. “A lady who lived with you for a while, Kairi. I know things.”

Now Kairi’s going red and it makes Sora laugh so hard that he falls forward, crashing to the ground.

Now they’re all laughing and Sora sits up so he can breathe. 

“Talk about crappy timing. I missed the joke.” Ven is smiling at them from the doorway, arms crossed loosely over his chest. “Sora’s on the floor...should I ask?”

Sora grins at him. “Just practicing my gymnastics, preparing, all that good stuff. It’s always good to be prepared.”

“By being on the floor...okay.” Ven shakes his head. “Sorry to interrupt your preparations, but Vanitas wants to talk to you.”

The room suddenly goes quiet, laughter drying up as people exchange looks. Sora can’t see them, but he knows Riku and Kairi. He swallows and stands up, not his usual bounce. “Sure. No problem.” His heart is beating quicker, but it’s fine. It’s just a talk and Ven wouldn’t let it happen if Vanitas was going to do something. Right?

Ven just nods. “Great, he’s up in our room. Riku, I actually have a question for you.” He moves into the room, patting Sora’s shoulder as he passes. It feels more like encouragement than reassurance and Sora really wishes he could demand Ven come with him. Ven’s like a pillow, a cushion between Vanitas and the rest of them so nobody gets hurt.

Sora looks at Riku and Kairi. Riku nods to him, but is already turning his attention to Ven. Kairi holds up a fist and squeezes it tight over her chest. Her message is clear:  _ I’ll be right there if he needs an ass-whooping _ . He sighs in relief and smiles at her.  _ Love you _ .

He’s got this. He tells himself that all the way up to their bedroom.  _ You’ve got this. It’s fine and you’ve wanted to talk to Vanitas and you’ve got this. _ Too bad he’s still a little scared as he stands outside the door. It’s not that Vanitas is strong or fast or tireless in his assault. It’s not that Aqua told them about how she fought him multiple times, each time with a Vanitas more unhinged and out for blood. It’s about something so small and kind of stupid.

_ “Don’t worry, you’re all still you.” _

But is he?

Memories that don’t belong to him and names he doesn’t know spring from his lips. Who is  _ Sora? _ He looks at Vanitas and he really doesn’t know anymore.

Sora wraps his hand around the knob and pushes the door open. There’s no time to worry about that now. He’ll deal with it later.  _ It’s how he managed to get this far even as friends turned away and disappeared, as Donald and Goofy poked fun at him, just trying to get him to keep smiling. _

“No fucking wonder they never learned to goddamn knock.” The voice is practically a growl and Sora jerks his head up. Vanitas is standing by the wardrobe, back to him, as he adjusts the sleeves of his shirt. He looks over his shoulder, glaring at Sora who just stares back.

Vanitas seems...smaller in regular clothes. He’s dressed more simply than any of them, except maybe Namine, in a plain black long-sleeved shirt and dark pants. The flashiest thing is the chains that dangle on his pants, one on each side and bright silver. Sora blinks and looks back up at Vanitas’s face. The glare is still the same. “What?”

“Xion picked that out? You look like a vampire.” Vanitas’s pale skin, eerie eyes,  _ and _ pointy teeth do him no favors in all dark colors.

“This is already a mistake.” Vanitas pinches the bridge of his nose and mutters under his breath. He waves at two chairs sitting in the middle of the room. “Sit the fuck down before I decide to leave and never come back.”

Sora does as demanded, plopping down on the chair and rocking it back.

Vanitas leans against the wall. “First of all, I’m not a fucking vampire. Not all of us can parade around in bright red and gold.”

“But red and black is fine.” Sora gives him his most innocent smile and knows for a fact that Vanitas sees right through it.

A finger gets jabbed at him and honestly, he’s surprised Vanitas has normal nails. He half-expected claws. “You are literally in red and black right now, shut the fuck up. It’s like you want me to snap and kill you.”

Sora shrugs. “I mean, you could _ try _ again.”

“No monster here to save your ass this time.” Vanitas’s eyes are cold, distant.

Sora refuses to be cowed. “I don’t need one.” He stares back, dropping the smile to show that this, really, is not a joke to him.

Vanitas meets it for a long moment and then shoves his hand through his hair. He looks away at the same time and some of the tension drops from his body. “I know you don’t. Fuck, I’m not actually going to fight you. Ventus would be the first to find me and kill me.”

He moves away from the wall and over to the other chair. Vanitas sits like someone not used to being relaxed. Sora deliberately slumps a bit more in his chair as Vanitas folds his arms over his chest. “You wanted to talk to me.”

“Yes, I did. Do.” Vanitas digs his nails into his arm. “Fuck, let me just...get my thoughts in order. I have things I need to say.” They both sit silently for a moment and then Vanitas shifts forward. “First, I want you to know that I’m going to be talking about shit because I expect pity. I don’t want that and I don’t fucking need it. Life isn’t fair, things happened, and that won’t be changed by feeling  _ sorry _ for me. And I don’t expect you to think that anything I tell you makes my actions any less monstrous. I chose to do what I did and again, there’s no changing it.”

Vanitas looks at him, expression serious. Sora nods slowly. He can’t say that he won’t feel sorry for what happened to Vanitas. He can’t not feel things. But, he’ll do his best.

“Good. So, to start.” Vanitas looks toward the window and the shadows around his feet darken. “Ventus and I were one person. I remember bits of life before I was ripped out of him, but not much. We were very much broken by it, even if it seemed like I wasn’t.”

Sora heard this story from Ven before they went to confront Xehanort. He’d felt so awful just imagining it that all he could do was hold Ven tight and tell him that he was sorry. Ven had returned the hug, silently. 

Vanitas continues as the shadows around him waver like sentient creatures. “I seemed strong, but I was empty. I was like a doll; I didn’t even have my own face. Ventus was even worse. He was dying, his heart giving out from the assault on it. He was taken away to die. I was left in the Graveyard to wait for my master to come back.”

Slowly, Vanitas uncrosses his arms, resting his hands in his lap instead. He pauses to take a breath and it shakes slightly. Sora keeps quiet, keeps his seat, but he longs to reach out and do...something. Xehanort hurt so many people.

“I was by myself when it happened.  _ Something _ burned through my chest, everything felt so bright and awful and I collapsed. When I woke up, I had a face. But it wasn’t the right face, it wasn’t  _ our _ face. I didn’t know what had happened, but I  _ hated _ whatever had caused it.”

Vanitas’s gaze is surprisingly calm as he meets Sora’s eyes. “My master came back. Ventus would live. Things had changed and he had new plans. When he looked at my new face, he  _ smiled _ .”

Sora shudders and wraps his arms around himself. He can imagine the malicious smile on the old man’s face, smiling at  _ him _ . “My heart touched Ventus’s.”

“Exactly right. You, a newborn heart, had felt him falling apart and reached out to save him. You changed him and you changed me. I told myself I would never forgive the people who had broken us. I would never forgive you...or my master.” Vanitas’s eyes close and he breathes in. “But I was wrong about you.”

“Xehanort ruined my life when he started it, but you...you saved Ventus. You left your mark on us. You made it so we could never  _ truly _ be fixed. Not in the way I wanted. But you saved us too, even when you didn’t know it.” Vanitas stares down at his hands, finally ungloved and he can see all the callouses and scars. “Even when  _ I _ didn’t know it.”

Sora is quiet, watching him. They look the same age even with the minute differences between their faces, but Vanitas seems so much older in that moment. It’s that same yawning gulf that opens up sometimes, when Riku presses his lips together rather than talk about the Realm of Darkness or Castle Oblivion. It’s the feeling of Kairi withdrawing, wrapping her arms around herself after someone asks about Radiant Garden, shadows in her eyes. Sora feels it too, when he looks at his friends and wonders if they know he can’t sleep sometimes for all the roiling nightmares and memories that still aren’t his, but leave him shaking and sobbing. If they know that he’s scared of the power he held briefly and how empty he feels sometimes.

They’ve lived a lifetime in a little under three years.

Vanitas’s hands are fists again, but loose ones, and he looks at Sora. “I hated you, because I thought you had taken everything away. You and Xehanort, but  _ you _ were to blame for changing me. And then you imprisoned us.”

Sora holds his hands up. “Okay, I didn’t  _ know _ that and-.”   


“I know,” Vanitas interrupts. “I know you don’t even remember doing it. And, to be entirely fair, Ventus imprisoned me first. Idiot.” He shakes his head. “I’m explaining how I saw it. Let me talk.”

“Yes, sir,” Sora says and sticks out his tongue.

Vanitas’s lips twitch, but the frown stays for now. “Look, the important thing is, I was really fucking angry with you for a long time. Roxas can’t even compare and Light knows the kid has tried.” Sora grins at that, but doesn’t interrupt. “And that’s what he used to make me fall in line. You know what it’s like to have it cloud your judgment, to only think of attacking the next thing in front of you.” Vanitas holds up both hands. “I either felt angry or I felt nothing.”

Sora slumps a little in his chair. He knows very well what it’s like to lose himself in a rage, to let it drive him forward heedlessly until every threat is gone. It burns, it consumes, and always left him shaking. Goofy or Donald would force him to sit down and take a break, keeping watch while he recovered. Yes, Sora knows how easy it is to be lost to anger.

“So, when we met…” Sora looks at him and can see Vanitas’s mouth twist.

“That’s...complicated.” Vanitas sighs and rubs his face.”Everything was foggy after he drug me back. Probably because those were all memories in my heart alone and he was pressing his heart over mine. I only remembered Ventus very strongly. I needed him. That was the same as last time.”

_ “I need the half of me that sleeps on inside your heart.” _

_ “Vanitas!” _

_ “Ventus. What a strange place to slither off to…” _

Sora remembers how his chest had ached, how the name jumped to his lips as something inside him screamed. He touches a hand there now. “It hurt,” he says very softly.

Vanitas clenches his hands and squeezes his eyes close. Darkness swirls around him, blue pots and a plant with sharp leaves growing from its head appearing. Sora watches, waiting to see what he’ll do. There had been so many before...all of Vanitas’s emotions strewn through the factory and attacking them endlessly.

_ The smog and oil clung to metal that had been so lifeless before. It lifted wings made of the same dripping material and screamed. Its face was one of misery. _

The Unversed don’t attack now. The pots swirl around Vanitas, chilling the air, and the plant ducks under the bed, only its eyes glowing from the dark. They all have red eyes, he’s noticed. Vanitas exhales, hands still held tight, but his face doesn’t look so twisted. 

“After,” he says, jumping away from the moment, “I failed, Master Xehanort found my...fixation on Ventus to be a distraction. I was supposed to be building my strength back up and instead, I confronted you and made my presence known. Removed from an easy source of power, I was...less than useful. So, he took control to make sure I would do what I was  _ supposed to _ during the war.” His voice is almost emotionless, as much a flat delivery of fact as he can make it.

Sora knows what it feels like to be so close to someone who means so much, but still find them out of reach. He leans forward. “Vanitas…”

“The point is,” Vanitas says over him. “The point is that I’m the one who was tormenting you. That wasn’t my master and I won’t play this game of shoving it off on him. It was my anger and it was me. And I’m...sorry, Sora.”

Quiet reigns for a moment and then Sora shifts forward, extending a hand. “Apology accepted.” He smiles at Vanitas, at the use of his name, and it only grows when a pale hand takes his and shakes it. Sora squeezes it and then lets go. “Thanks, Vanitas.”

“You make it too easy. No way it’ll be that simple with the others,” Vanitas mumbles and messes up his hair with both hands. It makes him look wilder, but without the suit he looks more like a regular teenager. He sees now what Roxas and Xion told him about Vanitas being  _ cool _ . Riku always told him he could never have a goth phase, but Vanitas seems like good proof that he totally could have pulled it off if he learned to frown more.

Sora laughs at himself and Vanitas arches an eyebrow. “Aqua’s going to punch my lights out and you’re laughing.”

“Not at that! Aqua’s got a temper, huh?” Sora leans back again, rocking the chair back onto two legs. “I was just thinking about...goth stuff.”

Vanitas looks at him in confusion, sparking more laughter. He can see Vanitas elect to ignore it and focus on what he knows. It’s all spelled out in the eye roll. “Yes, Aqua has a temper. Especially when you deliberately antagonize her. You got off easy compared to what I did to them.” His voice is a bit sharper, but he lifts a hand.

The pots still swirling around him break apart, the smoke flowing back to his hand. Sora watches in interest. “What’s it feel like?”

“What does  _ what _ feel like?”

“Taking them back like that.”

“Like the emotions they’re made of.” Vanitas glances at the door. “Which, I’m sure brings up a million more questions, but I’d rather not discuss it now.”

Sora tips his head slightly. “Why’s that?”

“Because it’s complicated, because it involves me feeling a lot of things that aren’t great, and because we’re doing something kind of fucking delicate and I’d rather not get into something messy before we start.”

“Oh damn, right.” Sora sits up straight. “Okay, another time.”

Vanitas looks at him and for the first time, lets a small smile onto his face. “Wow, language.”

Sora pouts. “Fuck off.”

That gets him a full smirk. “If you really want to know and I’m wiped out after this, go ask Roxas and Xion. They got most of it explained to them already and I know they’ll do fine if you ask. I hate repeat explanations anyway.”

Sora stands up and stretches his arms over his head. “Sounds great!” He extends his arms in front of him and wiggles his fingers in another stretch. “I’m ready!”

“Then go get your boyfriend and let’s get this over with.” Vanitas flicks his fingers at the door.

The urge to tease him back about Ventus is there, but Sora doesn’t take the opportunity. Instead, he offers Vanitas a hand again. Vanitas frowns at him and Sora answers the unspoken question. “It’s nice to meet you, Vanitas.”

Vanitas exhales through his nose, the closest thing to a laugh Sora’s heard from him, and takes the hand. “Yeah, great to finally meet you, Sora.”

Flashing him another smile, Sora gives it a squeeze and then goes to get Riku. They’ve got to help Vanitas. He wants to be friends with him, Roxas, and Xion and now, they’ve finally got time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 21 is in edits and it's another one I was very excited to write. Look forward to that next week!


	21. Chapter 21

Seeing the cots laid out in a line in an uncluttered room in the tower makes the whole thing feel that much more serious. It’s not a lab, not like the one in Radiant Garden, but it certainly feels clinical. Ven makes a face at the cots, arms folded over his chest. “I feel like we’re going to get experimented on.” He tries to keep his voice just loud enough for Vanitas and Sora to hear.

Sora snorts and Vanitas rolls his eyes. Luckily, Ienzo and Riku don’t turn from where they talking about some kind of device in Ienzo’s hand.  _ Safe. _

Ven muffles a yawn and then leans into Vanitas’s shoulder. He’s tense, but his shadow isn’t writhing into Unversed and he’s not nearly as pale as he’s been before. It’s the best he could hope for. Vanitas leaning back makes him feel that much more ready.

“How does it feel knowing you’re about to play host?” Ven can’t help but ask, trying to make it closer to a joke. At least Sora sticks his tongue out slightly at him and moves over to inspect the cots.

Vanitas waits until he’s gone and then shakes his head. “It’s not the same. This will be an inspection of the surface of my heart, not the depths of it.” His forehead wrinkles as he frowns. “And it’s not going to be in good condition. You need to be prepared for that and not  _ panic _ . I don’t want you doing something stupid or making me explode into a bunch of Unversed that attack the people observing.”

Ven rolls his eyes. “I  _ know _ your heart isn’t doing great. I know it’ll be damaged. I won’t do anything drastic. This is to figure out how badly you’re hurt and what we can do to fix it. I won’t be trying to smash us together desperately.”

“Good. I only wanted to warn you.” Vanitas goes back to watching the room.

_ I know it’s damaged. I know what it looks like when hearts shatter. I’m prepared. _ He’ll keep telling himself that. He’s prepared, he’s ready for this. Ven takes Vanitas’s hand.  _ Whatever we see, we’ll fix it. _

Sora swings himself onto a cot, folding his arms behind his head. He looks like he’s taking a nap and Riku turns at the noise. He walks over and flicks Sora in the forehead. “I guess you’re ready.” He takes the cot next to him.

Ven looks to Ienzo who nods. “We’ll be monitoring your vitals while you dive. Any concerning changes and we’ll have them wake you.” He motions to Roxas and Xion. “Any questions?”

“Nope,” Ven answers. Vanitas just shakes his head. 

They take the two remaining cots and then they all look at Riku. He summons his keyblade and Ven does as well. “You want me to go first?”

Riku nods and Ven closes his eyes. He murmurs a quiet spell and the feeling of everything disappears in the rush of the dark. He feels like he’s falling and quickly forces his eyes open.

Everything around him is dark except for a lighted platform below him.

Nothing could have prepared Ventus for the sight of the platform representing Vanitas’s heart. No words of warning from Vanitas, none of his own concerns and worst imaginings, none of it compares to the real thing.

He remembers the platform of their hearts when Vanitas had forced them together. The two of them on opposite sides with their keyblades, and the graveyard between them, had hurt to look at. It had been wrong, but also strangely right.

There is nothing  _ right _ about Vanitas’s. A third of the platform has been shattered, the pieces hang frozen in the air from the moment of impact. He remembers their platform shattering under his feet, the pieces suspended all around them as they fought with the last of their strength to the bitter end. That Vanitas is still partially shattered, a trail of shards suspended in the dark, is wrong.

Creeping shadows extend from the broken part, covering Vanitas’s face and creeping down his shoulders. They’ve covered the center of the platform as well, stopped only by a core of light that shines from simple images. The brightest one shows his wayfinder, bright green and shining like a true star. A secondary glow comes from the one beneath it, an image of a white ice-cream bar and a pale pink seashell.

Void Gear is uncovered on the platform and glows with its own eerie light. Ventus eyes it as he descends closer. Can he take hope from the weapon of Vanitas’s heart being unharmed? Surely, it means less than the state of the platform itself. 

His feet make contact with the platform and he swear it shifts slightly beneath him, sand trickling away. Ven shudders and looks around for the others.

“I warned you,” Vanitas says, appearing from nothing beside him. “Not a pretty sight.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Ventus says, glaring at him. “We’ll fix it.”

Vanitas touches a finger to Ven’s cheek. “It’s all over your face, idiot.” He pulls the hand back to gesture to the platform. “I know that’s what you’re here for. We have to figure out how.”

Ventus knows they’re both thinking of the only way they know that could work. But they might be too distinct to even try and make a whole now. He reaches and takes Vanitas’s hand, holding it tightly.  _ Join now wi- _ .

“Whoa!” Sora’s yell echoes through the air and he lands with an almost too-hard thump on Vanitas’s other side. He doesn’t seem to notice if the ground shifts beneath him. “Vanitas, you’re a mess.”

“Thanks,” Vanitas says drily. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Riku’s landing is much softer and he pushes his hair back from his face. “Sorry, we have yet to teach him proper manners.”

Sora blows a raspberry at him, but is already walking around, inspecting the platform. He walks to the broken edge and eyes the frozen pieces. He reaches out for one and then pauses, looking back at Vanitas. “Does it hurt?”

Vanitas shrugs. “Not particularly. Don’t  _ hit _ anything to test it.”

“I wouldn’t.” Sora touches one of the pieces and it seems to brighten for an instant before fading back to normal. Sora pulls his hand back looking thoughtful. Riku joins him at the edge, but squats to look down at the dark.

Ven stays with Vanitas. He looks strangely fine, comfortable even with his other hand tucked into his pocket. The odd light throws different colors over their faces and when Vanitas glances at him, his eyes look flecked in red. Ven rubs his eyes and tugs Vanitas toward the lighted images.

“I can feel our bond, but I can’t see it here. Can you?” Ven steps carefully across the glass, but the strange shifting feeling is gone. Vanitas walks beside him, gaze calm and almost relaxed. It’s a sharp difference from how he’s been outside.

“Yes,” Vanitas answers. They stop beside the wayfinder and Vanitas points a finger at it. He draws a line through the air until he’s pointing at Ventus. Vanitas arches an eyebrow. “It’s smaller than it usually is, but it’s there.”

Ven puts his free hand over his heart.  _ It’s there. _ “It’s usually bigger?”

“And goes that way.” Vanitas draws a line away from the edge of the platform and up into the darkness above them. “It’s always been there like that.”

“I just see the chains when I go to look. My links are white, yours are black and they go grey in the middle.”

Vanitas shrugs, gaze drifting over to Riku and Sora. The other two are talking, Sora reaching out to gently brush another broken piece. Ven looks that direction as well and his heart twists in his chest. It’s so  _ broken _ . It shouldn’t be like this; Vanitas should be as whole as he is. Beating Xehanort shouldn’t have made things worse.

Ven lets go of Vanitas’s hand and walks over to join them. He doesn’t glance back, but can feel Vanitas’s eyes on him.

“What do you guys think?” Ven stops on Sora’s other side and they both look at him.

Sora holds a hand to his chin. “It’s weird. It feels like I should be able to press these pieces back into place, but then I can’t. They’re glass, but there’s light or something within them, right? When I touch them I can feel it and feel that they want to go back together. But when I try…” He frowns. “It’s like I’m really touching frozen glass. It stays in place.” He stares at the pieces, eyes flecked with a dozen different colors.

“I’ve felt darkness like this before,” Riku says when Sora is quiet for a moment. “I thought it was Xehanort’s or Sora’s trying to protect him.” Sora glances at him, but Riku shakes his head. “I guess it was, in a way.”

“You lost me.” Ven scratches the back of his head, looking at the broken pieces. 

Riku’s shoulders hunch slightly. “Right, sorry. During our Mark of Mastery exam, when I dived into Sora’s heart to wake him up, I had to fight this...weird nightmare.”

Ven expression clears. “Oh, that! You fought Sora in my armor, right?”

“Yeah, but it was all dark and had the Nightmare emblem right here.” He taps the air in front of his face. “This feels like that same darkness.”

“Ventus wasn’t the only one who needed to keep him whole.” Vanitas has snuck up on them. Both of his hands are in his pockets and he frowns at Riku. “We were all fucked if they got Sora.”

_ It didn’t save Vanitas in the end _ . Ven looks away from him and back to the pieces. The other three keep talking, Vanitas pointing down and explaining something or other.

The shards are so sharp; they’re not touching him, but he feels their razor edges. If Sora can feel their light, than he should be able to too. Ven touches one of the shards very carefully. It brightens under his finger and he can feel a slight pulse to it. He gives it a little push and it  _ moves _ . Ven’s eyes widen. He pulls the shard a bit closer to him and it comes almost too easily. 

Ven cups his hands around the shard, feeling it pulse in time with his heartbeat. “Go back together,” he whispers. The shard quivers in his hand and then darts down to the broken edges. It wedges itself into place and then melts into the whole.

_ I can fix it _ .

He reaches for another piece, calling to the light inside it. It comes and with another whisper darts into place. Ven can do this. He can piece Vanitas back together. He calls a third and then a fourth, slowly melding the shards of Vanitas’s heart back into place.

He’s reaching for a sixth, a bigger piece, when the spots appear in his vision. He blinks, trying to chase them away, and they fade. He shakes his head and reaches for the shard again. It comes and he urges it to go back into its proper place. As it does, the spots return, big blooming dark spots that make him dizzy. 

Ven sways a little in place, but shakes his head again. The spots fade enough for him to see that the shard is melding into the rest. He smiles and turns back to the broken pieces. He can feel the last shard seal into place and that’s when his vision goes entirely black. His legs buckle, but before he hits the ground, his vision clears and he catches himself on his hands and knees.

More hands are already on his shoulders, steadying him and he presses his hands to his eyes. “Wha-.”

“Are you an  _ idiot _ ?” Vanitas’s voice is very loud and very sharp. Ven lifts his head and squints at him. Vanitas looks furious, coldly furious in a way that makes Ven remember those first days in Sora’s heart.

“I was fixing-.”

Vanitas shakes him by the shoulders. “You were just using your light to put the pieces back. What do you think will happen to you if you do that to every piece?! You almost collapsed!”

Ven blinks. “I’ll be fi-.”

“Sora isn’t going to be able to take you back for another decade for you to recover! Don’t be fucking stupid, Ven!” Vanitas grabs his chin and stares him dead in the eyes. Ven would swear the flecks of red are back and bigger, but spots are still swimming over his vision. “You are going to do nothing in here unless we know for certain that it won’t hurt  _ you _ .”

“Vanitas,” Riku breaks in. “He didn’t know.”

“He should know! He should know better than anyone what it feels like for him to be breaking himself! It’s happened  _ twice! _ ” Vanitas is breathing hard and lets go of Ventus suddenly. He takes several quick steps away, dragging his hands through his hair. “He leaves, now. Sora take him out.”

Ven quickly scrambles to his feet. “I won’t do anything more. Vanitas, I want to  _ help _ you.”

Vanitas inhales so quickly that Ven expect him to turn and shout at all of them. But it leaves him in a rush. He sits down on the platform, right beside the wayfinder, and presses his fingers against it. “I know you do. But you’re not going to hurt yourself for me.”

Sora glances at Ventus, grabs Riku’s arm, and pulls him further away from Vanitas. Ven ignores them to carefully walk over and take Vanitas’s hand from the wayfinder. He sits on it and the spots still lingering begin to clear. He squeezes that hand tightly. “I won’t,” he says softly. “We’ll get through this together.”

Vanitas looks up at him, the light making the gold of his eyes glow warmly. He squeezes back. “Not like that.” He sighs and closes his eyes. The bags under his eyes look bigger lit from below. “The shards aren’t even the problem,  _ idiot _ .” The softness of the insult is back and Ven almost smiles at him.

“I’m sorry. Not for trying to help, but for doing it the wrong way.” Ven leans closer, pressing their legs together. “I’m sorry for scaring you too.”

“You went transparent for a second,” Vanitas says in a rough whisper. “I thought…” He shakes his head and leans forward to rest their foreheads together. “Don’t do that, Ven.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Ven promises. This close he can see the very subtle spill of freckles over Vanitas’s nose. He has the same ones, but they’re stronger, brightened by time in the sun. Ven counts them,  _ one, two, three, four, five _ .

_ Six _ .

Vanitas kisses him softly and Ven’s eyes close. It’s so soft; Vanitas is always so careful in his motions, so unused to actions that aren’t meant to hurt. He winds his arm around Vanitas’s shoulders and kisses him back. He can feel the warmth and happiness that bubbles between them, spilling out from Vanitas but never leaving him empty.

They pull back, still resting their foreheads together and Ven smiles at him. Vanitas is red, embarrassed by his boldness, but before either of them can say anything, Sora interrupts.

“You guys made  _ everything  _ light up!” He waves his hands at his sides, indicating the platform.

Riku is rubbing at his eyes when Ven turns to look at them. Vanitas mumbles under his breath and flips Sora off not at all discreetly.

There’s no way to talk about kissing Vanitas that wouldn’t be horrifically embarrassing, so Ven decides to not. He looks around at the platform and the light is brighter than before. It’s slowly dimming back to what it was, but maybe the shadows are further back? It’s so hard to tell.

“Darkness is still there,” Riku confirms, looking down again. “None of the missing gaps in the pillar are different. I don’t think the two of you will be able to fix this by regular means.”

“There’s nothing regular about this,” Vanitas grumbles. He climbs to his feet, pulling Ven up with a hand. “If I couldn’t fill them in with  _ my _ darkness, I don’t know what the fuck we’re going to do.”

Riku pulls at his lower lip, thinking. “They were made because of Xehanort inserting himself and then being ripped out. Maybe it’s too much for your heart to make up on its own?”

“Probably.”

Ven frowns now and crosses over to take a look for himself. Cracks and missing chunks look like voids in the pillar and he slowly presses a hand to his own chest.  _ It had been stolen, ripped away, and what was left was all falling away _ ... “I have an idea,” he says suddenly. “But we’ll need to check a couple things before we try anything.”

When he looks up, all three of them are staring at him. Ven makes eye contact with Sora. “If missing pieces are the problem, we have to find the right thing to fill in the gaps. Or, find the right person.”

Sora’s eyes light up and he grins. “Just like I did for you!”

“Exactly.” Ven taps his chest over his heart. “We should do a dive into my heart and see what we can see or what Sora can feel. If we can feel what Sora did, maybe we can figure out how to replicate it.”

“Except with darkness instead of light,” Riku says slowly. “We should check your heart and then have Naminé take a look. She might be able to clarify the connection between you and Sora. Then we’ll be able to know better what we’re doing.”

Ven walks over to Vanitas and retakes his hands. He can’t stop smiling now. “How’s that for a solution?”

The side of Vanitas’s mouth hooks up. “It’s a start.”

It’s a start and for the first time since he noticed the links trickling away like sand, Ventus feels hope. He brings Vanitas’s hand up and kisses his knuckles.

“Okay, I think we’re good to go,” Sora says, thankfully oblivious or ignoring Ven’s display.

“Yeah, get the fuck out.” Vanitas’s voice is sharp and does nothing to cover the blush growing over his face. Sora grins at them.

He and Riku lift their keyblades, disappearing in a flash of light, but Ventus stays a moment longer. 

Vanitas arches an eyebrow. “What?”

“Nothing, I just know they’re all waiting for us.” Ven leans forward quickly, capturing Vanitas’s lips for another kiss. He leans back and Vanitas is blinking rapidly, stunned. Ven grins. “I can’t do that in front of Roxas and Xion.”

“You’ll just make a herd of Unversed for them to deal with instead. Idiot.” Vanitas shakes his head and squeezes Ventus’s hands. “Go. You’re going to need to rest after that stupid stunt.”

He was almost hoping Vanitas had forgotten. Ven sticks his tongue out and then steps back. He summons his keyblade and opens a portal out. As he rises, he looks down and, for a moment, sees a white chain trailing behind him, anchored to the core of Vanitas’s heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 21 chapters, 21 chapters and finally a kiss. I hope everything in this chapter was worth waiting for!


	22. Chapter 22

Naminé brushes a hand over her sketchbook page for what feels like the dozenth time. She’s nervous and is certain that it’s painfully obvious to anyone who might come by. A person’s life is resting on her shoulders or something close to it. That seems like more than enough to be nervous about.

_ What if I can’t see anything? What if I can only touch his memories? I don’t want to be useless _ . Her thoughts are going in painful circles and she quickly grabs a pencil from the box beside her.  _ No, I will do everything I can. And if it’s not enough...that’s okay. I’ll help find something that is. _

The pencil moves under her hand and with every line, Naminé feels better. There’s something freeing about drawing, about being able to hold a piece of the world in her hands. She can create things, change hearts, but just being able to capture a moment and hold it is the real prize.

She’s not thinking too hard about drawing something, only drawing. She switches colors as she works, slowly drawing out a beach, a place to call home. The sunset is the trickiest; she has to get the colors just right. Blending pink with yellow, Naminé doesn’t hear someone walk up beside her.

Her fingers wrap around the orange to add it next and that’s when she notices the legs. She yelps, dropping the pencils so they clatter across the floor, and hugs her sketchbook to her chest. Naminé’s eyes jump up, but the person is already bending down to get her pencils. When they straighten, yellow eyes meet hers.

Naminé swallows past a dry mouth. “I didn’t see you come in.”

Vanitas offers over her dropped pencils. “Most people don’t. I wasn’t trying to scare you. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

She takes her pencils and shrugs. “It’s not anything important. I was distracting myself while I was waiting. Not that you’re late or anything! I’m being rude.” She sets her things aside and offers him a hand. “Hello, I’m Naminé.”

“Vanitas.” He takes her hand and gives it a shake. It might be the roughest hand she’s ever touched and she almost wants to run her fingers over his palm, feelings the scars and calluses. That would be weird, even thinking about it is weird. She lets go. Vanitas slides his hands into his pockets. The jacket Xion was looking at is tied around his waist.

Naminé smiles and motions to one of the other chairs arrayed around the room. It’s a quiet little room near the library; a place to relax with windows that show the twinkling sky outside. “I’m glad to finally meet you. Xion said that she and Roxas told you about me.”

Vanitas hums agreement and takes a seat not too far from her. “They did, with feeling.” The last word curls from his mouth in a way that when his gaze lands on her again, Naminé flushes.

“They’re my friends and much kinder than I could ask for.” She fingers the edges of her sketchbook and then rests in flat on her lap again. Somehow she’s not wearing the colors on her shirt. “I’m not quite sure what I’ll be able to do for you.”

He shrugs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Neither am I. Xion and Roxas didn’t exactly explain what it was you could do. Something about memories? We didn’t really get it.”

“It’s complicated. I’m still learning exactly what I can do.” Naminé folds her hands together. “And I never really explained it well to Roxas. I’m strange for a Nobody, born of a heart instead of a body.” She looks at him and he’s listening, eyes on her face. There’s nothing to his expression that gives away his thoughts, no anger or frustration. It makes it a bit easier to continue.

“For some reason, my unusual birth also came with unusual abilities. I can reach out and touch Sora’s memories. I can rearrange the links and even overwrite them. I did that, but then I  _ undid _ it. That was a lot harder. All the right memories had been scattered and muffled. It took a while to get them back in order.”

“I had to get them just right, each one connected to the rest. Of course, this meant he lost his memories of that place…” Her throat goes tight. It had been so...painful to know that she’d be all alone again. She only had a promise to cling to until Riku arrived.

Vanitas’s voice breaks into her memories. “You linked them together. Memories are...connected like that?”

Naminé nods. “Yes, especially memories of people. Sora’s feelings held his memories together. All of his memories, all his feelings for Kairi, they were connected. As I undid them, everything else fell apart. It’s very powerful, how feelings shape a heart.”

His smile is wry when she looks at him again. “Don’t I know it.”

“Oh, Vanitas, I should have-.”

He shakes his head. “No, it’s fine.” He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “So, you can see and manipulate those connections.”

“I can see them because of their connection to Sora. I don’t know how it’ll work for someone like you.” Naminé scratches her head, trying to think it through. “See, I was able to follow the connections that were in Sora’s heart. That’s how we found out about Roxas and Xion. Then, I found a connection buried the deepest and it led to three more people.”

“Ventus and his friends.” Vanitas nods. “Right.”

“And you, though it was like your heart was hiding from me.” Naminé frowns. “Admittedly, I wasn’t looking too hard in the dark places of Sora’s heart, but I felt yours too.”

Vanitas’s mouth twists, his jaw tenses, but then he sighs. “Alright, so you at least can feel our connection to Sora. How do we check if you can do more?”

Naminé takes a deep breath. “All I need is for you to stay here with me and let me reach out.” She touches the sketchbook in her lap. “If I can see anything, feel anything, I’ll be able to draw a sort of...map, I think.”

“Reach out how?” Now, he’s finally wary. He stares at her, waiting to see what way she’ll move.

She keeps her hands on the book that can bring joy, healing, and pain. “I just look for the connections. It is the easy part.”

Vanitas’s eyebrows go up. “You can simply look and see something like that.”

Naminé nods. “Only with Sora, mostly, and even then I have to focus. But, yes.”

He leans back, rubbing his jaw with one hand. “Hm.” Vanitas looks toward the door and then around the room, empty but for them. “Sora’s busy checking Ventus’s heart. Do you need him here?”

“I don’t believe so. I won’t know until I try.”

Vanitas exhales. “True. Alright, go ahead.”

She blinks. “Oh. You’re alright with that?”

“There’s no one else here to bother us and we need to do it sooner rather than later.” Vanitas wraps his fingers around his wrist. “I’m not interested in falling apart when we could be doing something.”

Right.  _ Right. _ Naminé nods quickly. “Okay, let me...” She flips the sketchbook to a clean page and takes the time to line up her pencils in order again. Everything’s in reach, she won’t have to move far if she’s able to draw her map.

She breathes in, calming herself and clearing her thoughts. She needs to approach this with nothing else weighing on her. The only thing in her mind must be what she’s looking for, what she wishes to touch. Naminé closes her eyes and thinks of nothing but Sora. He’s easy to call to mind, always in her heart with their promise, his smile, and his love. She’s so very glad to be one of his friends, to have met the others that share this boy’s heart, and to be able to reach out and help with those connections that he didn’t even realize he had.

Sora is a star, shining bright, and as Naminé calls him to mind she sees the links of light that tie his heart to others. She brushes her fingers over each link carefully. Memories rise to the surface. This chain is full of childhood joy, a long search, and so much love. The next is fascination, worry, joy, and love sewn together with seashells and cord. Riku and Kairi are the closest to Sora’s heart and Naminé smiles.

She leaves those chains behind to touch those that are a bit heavier under her hands, but warm. The memories here are sadder at first: a fight, tears. The chain grows warmer as sunsets rise to the surface, ending with ice cream and the strong feeling of backs pressed together, all weaknesses covered for. Xion’s chain is newer, memories only just beginning to be made and rebuilt. Naminé feels sadness, confusion, but then determination and mischievous smiles. Sora and Xion have been plotting together.

“I’ll have to remember to check everything before I eat it,” she murmurs. Salt would be much less tasty in tea.

Ven’s chain is the oldest, so many links tied together. Love is strong in the memories, protection and a beach that made a good home. Naminé wants to hug those memories, they make her feel safe and warm. She stays with that chain, following it closer to Sora’s heart, to where the light shines the brightest.

There, she can see the chain that runs directly under Ventus’s. Vanitas’s chain is as dark as the shadows, only bare threads of light shine through. Naminé bends down and carefully sets her hands on it. The memories are sharp, pain and longing strong enough to make her sob. She doesn’t let go. She lets the tears fall and hangs on. Hate burns through her, hate for everyone, hate for the boy who stole his face, hate for himself. Lighter feelings are slow to come, forming on a beach, safety again; protective feelings begin to rise and then everything twists in on itself to leave nothing but rage.

Naminé gasps and would pull away, but she can feel her grip on the chain weaken. She tightens her hands and refuses to let it fade into the shadows. “No, I see you. You’re going to show me what you can.”

She stands, hands still tight on the chain, and starts walking away from the light of Sora’s heart. Ventus’s chain continues the same direction, directly over Vanitas’s and glowing brightly. It makes Vanitas’s chain stand out more from the dark. Naminé walks and her sense of Sora’s heart fades. The chains stay, but she knew Ventus’s would. His lead her to Aqua and Terra before.

Vanitas’s chain is cool between her fingers and she watches it, looking for any breaks or weak links. None appear and the chain doesn’t try to fight her anymore. Ventus’s heart grows closer and she watches Vanitas’s chain wrap around Ventus’s before disappearing behind Ventus’s heart.

“Ahah,” she says softly. “I knew you were hiding somewhere close.” Careful to keep a grip, she moves around the small sun of Ventus’s heart. Behind it, she finally finds Vanitas’s.

His is very dark compared to Ven’s, but only compared to Ven’s. As Naminé’s eyes adjust, she sees a soft glow coming from Vanitas’s heart. It’s like a small star in the distance or the crescent of the moon. Despite the darkness flowing through and around it, there’s light too. His heart is not unsupported either. As she moves closer, Naminé sees more than just a chain to Sora stretching away from Vanitas’s heart.

She reaches for one of these new chains and is unsurprised to feel memories of Xion. Protection, caring, and a love of teasing is so much better than the anger and hurt. Naminé rubs those links gently and brushes her fingers against the next chain. Roxas is more teasing and protection, but with a different sort of twist. Something about fighting, but playfully? She doesn’t entirely understand it, but maybe someone else will.

Naminé looks at the connections and smiles. Vanitas’s heart is different from the others she’s touched, but the bonds that tie them together are just as warm and just as strong as the ones Sora has.

“There must be some way to use this.” Naminé looks around, curious about the chain that should have been the biggest and the most obvious. Ventus and Vanitas are firmly tied together. It should be the chain she saw first. There’s not one and she frowns.

“Strange…” she murmurs and looks back at Ventus’s heart. There’s no chain coming from it either. That can’t be right. Maybe their bond is hidden from her, as different as it is. “I wanted to see it.” Naminé puts her hands on her hips and studies the two hearts closely. If she could just get a peek…

A sun gives off rays and darts of fire, that’s what Naminé has learned. Ventus’s heart is more contained, meant to hold itself together and not light the worlds. Yet, as she looks closer, she sees little darts of light reaching out into the darkness. Stepping closer, she sees they’re not reaching, but already connected. Shadows and light twine together in a million places, the edges of their hearts joined in a way like no one else’s.

Naminé smiles and keeps her hands away from those connections. They’re for Vanitas and Ventus; she doesn’t have to touch them to know what she’d feel between the two of them. She does a full circle of Vanitas’s heart, looking for any damage. She’s more familiar with broken chains, memories that need carefully reconnected, and still she almost trips over the darkest chain she’s ever seen.

Stumbling, Naminé throws her arms out and manages to catch her balance. Stupid to be able to trip while looking at hearts, but she’s stopped questioning how physical certain things are. She turns back and bends down. She has to feel for the chain blindly, not even the pale light of Vanitas’s heart is enough to illuminate what she tripped over.

Her hand brushes against cold metal and she’s swallowed in a whirlwind of anger, hate, and fear. Naminé can’t make sense of the source, she’s lost in the storm of awful emotions. Sobbing, she wrenches herself backward and covers her face with her hands. Her mouth tastes like blood; she bit the inside of her cheek. Shuddering, she forces herself to breathe.

She’s known fear, she’s known hate, and she’s known anger. She’s felt them. Roxas has felt them. Xion has felt them. Even Sora has felt them, but never so intensely. Nothing compares to the strength of Vanitas’s feelings and nothing compares to how much she wants to turn her back on that connection and leave.

_ No. I’m going to help him. _ Naminé wipes her eyes, takes a breath, and finds that chain again. It’s just as awful the second time, but she hangs on.  _ Who is it? Show me who it is! _ She already knows who it must be, but she needs to see it. 

When the old man appears in her mind, a keyblade in one hand, and cold eyes staring down at her, Naminé wants to hurt him. She wants to attack him, she wants to return every awful feeling he’s ever caused her friends. But the chain quivers just slightly in her hands and her heart breaks all over again.

She looks away from Xehanort and brushes the chain with shaking fingers. Tears drip from her eyes. “He doesn’t deserve that,” she whispers to the links. “I’m so sorry that you only had him when you needed someone else the most.”

Vanitas’s heart is worth protecting if even the worst person Naminé has ever heard of makes him feel this way. If she could sever the link, she would. But it’s Vanitas’s heart and Vanitas’s past and the choice is not hers.

Still wiping her tears, Naminé sets that connection down. “You took so much from him, but you won’t be getting any more,” she tells a man that’s already dead. Her voice quivers, but her eyes are sharp. She won’t let Xehanort get even one more victory.

Naminé circles back to the front of Vanitas’s heart. She touches the chains to Xion and Roxas and takes heart in the warm feelings there. Vanitas has so much more than that darkness now. She’ll make sure he keeps it.

When she opens her eyes, she has to wipe away a few tears. She can’t have marks on the drawing spread all over her lap. Naminé takes a deep breath and knows she must have been crying for the last few minutes. When she looks at Vanitas, he’s on the edge of his chair, hands tightly folded together.

“Are you alright?” His voice is awkward, but soft and Naminé smiles back at him.

“I’m fine. You’re very loved, Vanitas.”

He goes red immediately and leans back. He unlocks his hands and rubs them on his pants. “So, you got a look.”

“I did.” Naminé brushes a few pencil shavings off the drawing and then holds it up for him to see.

The map is hardly a map at all. Colors and shapes are blended and crossed, circles overlapping one another with lines drawn between even more of them. It’s something no one’s ever been able to understand, but Vanitas tilts his head and studies it. “Those are our hearts and how they touch,” he guesses.

“Yes!” Naminé turns it back around to look at it herself. “It’s all the hearts that have connected with yours.” She runs a finger from a silver circle, following a bright orange line to another heart. “You and Ventus, Xion, Roxas, and Sora are all connected. But not just through Sora. I could see the bonds  _ you _ have with everyone.” She touches the place where two hearts cross more than any other. “I don’t know what I can do with those connections, but I can see them. I think I’d like to ask Di-Riku about what we did with Sora before I try anything. I won’t hurt anyone, not even trying to help them,” she says it fiercely, clutching the sketchbook that will never be used to injure a heart.

Vanitas’s exhale is so soft she almost misses it. He leans forward again and gently touches her arm. “It’s only a heart that’s already broken. I can take it.”

Naminé shakes her head slowly and covers his fingers with hers. “That is all the more reason to make sure it never happens again. You are  _ loved _ and you  _ love _ , Vanitas. You have to take care of that heart.”

He looks away, but she hears the hitch in his breathing. “You kids,” he grumbles. 

She laughs quietly and squeezes his fingers. “Your friends,” she corrects, knowing the truth of it in her bones.

_ Another chain curls through the dark, adding its light to the moon. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it glaringly obvious that I love describing hearts/connections/other fun concepts yet? Because I really do enjoy it.
> 
> I've been plotting out the end of this fic and we're actually going to be wrapping up before chapter 30. I honestly can't believe this turned out this long and now it feels like the end comes too soon. Well, there will time to be sappy when we actually get there!
> 
> Thank you all for reading, commenting, subscribing, and dropping a kudos on this fic!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was doing so well with those consistent Monday updates and then life got complicated and this chapter got complicated. Oh well, it's here and hopefully worth the extra time. It's a long one!

_ You have two opponents, one charging from the front, one trying to slip around behind you. Don’t give in to the distraction, but don’t let it be forgotten either. He’ll hit you like a freight train unless you slow him up first. _

Her keyblade is warm in her hand, more familiar than ever despite the years. Aqua spins Stormfall around and fires a blast of magic at Terra. He slows immediately, struggling against her spell to be faster than a slug fighting to cross the ground. She smirks and then pivots on the ball of one foot to meet Ven’s strike at her back.

Their keyblades shriek until she locks Ven’s with hers. He only has time to groan before she uses his momentum against him and throws him away from her. Wayward Wind vanishes from Stormfall’s grip and Ven tucks and rolls back to his feet. Terra is still struggling to overcome the spell on him, so Aqua keeps her attention on Ven.

He shakes his head and spins his keyblade. “Geez, Aqua, fight a little fair!”

“I have yet to try any dirty trick.” She smiles at him, limbs loose and ready for whatever comes at her next. 

_ “Quake!” _

The ground rumbles beneath her feet, but Aqua is ready for that as well. She leaps into the air and lands next to Terra where the ground is steady. She swings at him and Ends of the Earth blocks her with a rattle through her arms. Now Terra is the one grinning. “Don’t you know a trap when you see one?”

“Don’t you know you should spring it before taunting me?” Aqua flips over his next swing and smacks him in the back just as her slow spell ends. Terra falls to the ground, breath knocked out of him.

Ven is right there, springing over Terra with his keyblade coming for her shoulder. Aqua blocks him and that’s when he fires the paralysis spell from his other hand. Frozen in place, she can’t stop him from tapping her on the head with his keyblade. “I win!” Ven declares and throws his hands up. “I told you I could do it, Terra!”

“You used me. You used my body for victory.”

Aqua presses her lips together as Ven pats Terra’s back in what’s more mockery than comfort. Neither notices as she moves very slowly, lifting her keyblade and taking a step closer. Ven straightens up just as she swings, knocking his legs out from under him. On the ground, he scowls up at her. “ _ That _ was a dirty trick.”

She offers him a hand back up and a smile. “It was, but gloating is bad for your character.”

Ven blows a raspberry at her and then groans when Terra ruffles his hair. “Guys!”

“We’re just looking out for you,” Terra teases. Ven ducks away from the hand and Terra rubs his lower back. “Ouch. My old bones need a break.”

“You both wanted a spar,” Aqua says, fingers already lifting. “Do you need a-.” 

“I’m fine,” he interrupts gently. “I think I need a hot pack more than anything.”

Aqua lowers the hand. “If you’re sure…”

His fingers take hers and give a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure.” They smile at each other and ignore Ven’s mutters about slipping in sap.

Aqua pulls her hand free and pats Terra’s shoulder. “Go sit down and rest your bones. I can keep practicing with Ven.”

“Yeah! I love eating dirt over and over.” Ven sticks his tongue out and Aqua does it right back.

“I could go find one of the others if I’m too tough for you.”

Ven holds both hands up. “No way. I’m not giving them a chance to think I’m some wimp. They already think you’re the toughest keyblade wielder ever.” His gaze darts toward the tower and then back. He says quickly, “Let’s test your reflect spell. I bet I can break it open with some work.”

Aqua frowns. Does he...not want the others around them? The morning training sessions with everyone have continued even with plans to head home slowly being made. It’s been wonderful to feel the light of all those keyblades and hearts, to see them strong and ready to protect their friends and families. It’s nice to not be alone anymore. That Ventus asked for a session with just the three of them this evening didn’t seem odd. They had trained together for years; it was normal.

Isn’t it?

“Aqua?” Ven is looking at her now and she smiles at him quickly. 

“My barrier spell is quite strong. You’ll have to really be trying.” She takes a couple steps away and glances toward the tower entrance. The door is shut and there’s no one coming down the steps.  _ Ridiculous _ . _ There’s nothing for Ven to hide. _

Ven laughs, a sound that reminds her of easy, happy days. “Master Eraqus said I was always trying.”

Terra snorts. “You and me both, but he was nicer about it to you.”

“Rest your old man bones,” Ven shoots back at him. “I’ll try Aqua.”

“Try, try, try, it hardly sounds like a word now.” Aqua shakes her head. Stormfall shimmers as she lifts a hand and summons a barrier around her. It sparkles like ice and she beckons Ven forward to give it his best shot.

He walks a circle around her first, looking for weak points. “It’s magic,” she calls to him. “It’s not going to have a crack!”

“It will if you’re not concentrating!” Ven stops directly in front of her. He fires a fire ball at her, but it does nothing. Even a handful more don’t make it shiver. Ven grumbles and uses an aero spell to get some height and then comes at with her barrier with a freeze raid. There’s not even a quiver and Aqua grins at him.

Ven’s feet hit the ground and he rushes it with a combination of attacks, ending with a leap back and a hard blast of wind. The bushes rustle in the heavy winds, but Aqua is left untouched. She whistles a little and he makes a face at her, breathing hard.

Aqua laughs and leans forward. “Giving up?”

“No, I wanna try...one more thing,” Ven pants. He straightens up, glances behind him, and then faces her again. “Okay, ready?”

“I’m waiting to be cracked like an egg.”

Terra calls from the sidelines, “Ven will make less of a mess than you!”

Aqua sticks her tongue out at him and sees a flicker of movement from the corner of her eye. Ven is charging her again, but as she turns to look at him, his image flickers and disappears. Her heart is immediately pounding and she grips Stormfall tightly. She wants to dodge away, but her barrier spell is strong. It will be fine.  _ It will be fine. He doesn’t have the x-blade. It’s not  _ **_him_ ** _. _

She looks up, knowing exactly what she’ll see and braced for much more than a training blow.

The only thing above her is her barrier and the twilight sky beyond it. She blinks and then her barrier shatters as something hits it from behind. Aqua whirls around, keyblade up, ready to strike, to move, to  _ live _ .

Ven is grinning at her, a blade of shining white light in his hands. Five more surround him and she knows that command style, knows that it’s just him. Her legs shake anyway and so does her returning smile. He notices, of course he does, and the blades vanish as he steps closer. “Aqua?”

“I’m okay,” she says quickly. “You surprised me.”

“Oh. Sorry?” Ven scratches the back of his head sheepishly and she puts a hand to his shoulder. 

“Don’t apologize. That was the goal. Good job.”

Ven looks up at her and wraps her wrist in one of his hands. “Let’s go sit down with Terra. You look like you could use a break.”

Aqua’s smile already feels more natural as she messes up his hair. “Yes, Master Ven.” 

He blows a raspberry at her. “Please, Master Aqua. You just look…”

“You teleported around her and didn’t think it would bother her. You are such an idiot, Ventus.” 

The voice comes from nearby, too close, and despite its calm tone, Aqua’s heart races. She turns, sweeping Ven behind her with an arm. He grabs it, but doesn’t squawk at her surprisingly. Aqua keeps him there as she meets Vanitas’s gaze.

He’s standing a couple feet away, arms crossed over his chest. There’s something off about his appearance, but Aqua keeps her eyes on his face, searching for any sign of the monster she’s fought so many times. Vanitas doesn’t move, watching her back.

Ven’s touch is slow and careful. Aqua doesn’t twitch as he puts a hand to her arm. “You okay?” he asks her. “He’s the worst about sneaking around.”

“Yes, he is.” Her voice is much colder than Ven’s and Vanitas shifts his weight to one foot. Something scuttles around his feet and she glances down. It’s one of the little Scrappers, clinging to his pants. 

His gaze moves behind her and she watches it sharpen into a real glare. “I thought you were going to tell them.”

“I was!” Ven protests. “But you were taking forever and we were training and then you were here.”

Aqua looks over her shoulder. “You knew he was coming.”

Ven winces. “Yeah. I was going to tell you after we did the barrier thing, I promise. But um…” He bites his lip.

Terra clears his throat. “Well, we’re all here now. What’s going on? Everything alright?” He looks at Aqua and then at Vanitas, still sitting on the ground. She doesn’t like that, that Terra is open for anything that might come at him. Aqua takes a couple steps over to stand beside him.

Vanitas watches, not moving. His shadow ripples and a Hareraiser hops free. It joins the Scrapper in clinging to Vanitas and trying to hide from them. Good. She will take them out if they try something. 

Ven looks between them and then sighs. He takes a seat on the ground, a third point in their triangle. “Everything’s...fine. We wanted-.”

“I wanted to speak with you,” Vanitas interrupts. “Both of you, but especially Aqua.”

She jumps slightly. Has he ever said her name before? Never in that way, where it’s practically conversational.  Aqua slowly folds her arms across her chest, mirroring Vanitas. “What about?”  _ Try, for Ven’s sake. Let him speak and then maybe I’ll understand. _

Vanitas looks at Ven who nods. He looks away from them, at the sky, and shifts in place again. “I want to...say a couple things.” He sounds very awkward, but this whole thing is awkward at best. She won’t do anything to fill the gaps. Surprisingly, neither does Ven. He’s watching Vanitas, waiting just like they are.

Vanitas digs his fingers into his arms and she watches another Hareraiser appear and then a Shoegazer. He takes a breath and mumbles something quietly. Aqua realizes quite suddenly that he looks exactly like a teenager, struggling to talk about something. It makes her tone a bit softer when she says, “I didn’t catch that. Could you say it again?”

“I said,” Vanitas says without looking up at them, “that I wish Terra hadn’t apologized to me.”

“What?” Aqua looks down at where Terra’s still sitting on the ground. He glances up at her and shrugs a little.

“He deserved it.”

“You didn’t tell her.” Now Vanitas is looking at them, at Terra, eyebrows drawn together and frowning. Confusion is obvious and Aqua relates.

Terra shakes his head. “That’s not something I’d tell anyone without your permission.”

Vanitas’s inhale is sharp and he turns away, putting his back to them. Aqua trades a look with Terra and then they both look at Ven. Ven is still sitting there, watching Vanitas with an unreadable expression. Apparently, for once since this whole madness started, Ven is leaving Vanitas on his own. Aqua folds her legs and takes a seat beside Terra. She wants to ask, she really wants to ask, but Terra’s already made his stance clear. Still, once she’s sitting, he takes her hand and squeezes.

“I don’t get you,” Vanitas says, voice rougher than before. He coughs, covering it with a hand, and drops the fist to his side again. “You’re all so fucking weird.” Both of his hands tighten into fists and he turns around to stare at them. Aqua meets his gaze with her’s, keeping her expression as emotionless as she can. She won’t give him anything to use against her, not again.

It’s harder than it used to be, now that she knows Sora. She can see his features repeated over Vanitas’s face, slightly changed. His cheeks aren’t as round, his nose a bit sharper and more like Ven’s. He’s paler, of course, and his eyes are never wide with excitement or happiness. Vanitas is always glaring or squinting. He never smiles, but having met Sora Aqua wonders how it’d look on Vanitas’s face.

It’s this consideration that lets her put a finger on what’s bothering her about his appearance. Vanitas looks smaller and thinner in real clothes. The grey shell of his mask is gone. There’s no darkness waiting to sweep over his features and hide them. He’s completely exposed.

Ven clears his throat and Aqua jumps slightly. Vanitas breaks eye contact, looking down at one of the Unversed still clinging to his legs. Aqua glances at Terra and he squeezes her hand.  _ It’s okay. Whatever this is...it’s okay. _

She smiles back at Terra, a small one that no one else can see, and he squeezes her hand again.  _ I never stopped lighting your way back? You and Ven saved me in the dark too. _

“I’m sorry,” says a voice both rough and awkward. “I’m sorry for...attacking you, manipulating you, and generally being a piece of shit. I took pleasure in treating you like scum and assaulting you and there’s no damn excuse for that.” Vanitas spits the last part out and then sucks in a breath. He doesn’t exhale, doesn’t look at them, and continues his staring contest with the ground.

Aqua can only blink in shock. Of all things she thought Vanitas would say to them, to her, an apology never crossed her mind.  _ A back up, useless, the worthless new master unable to stop the enemies dragging her friends into danger and darkness. _ Aqua takes a breath and lets it out, her head spinning. An apology for her, one with no excuses, no mention of the one who must have given Vanitas orders.

_ He laughed at you. He almost killed Ven, almost took his heart and his body and destroyed the world! _ That voice is so very loud. It’s the same one that keeps her pacing the halls in the night, looking for any shadows that move unnaturally or have glowing eyes. It’s protective, strong, and will keep her from being hurt again. It’s paranoid, she’s paranoid, refusing sleep to walk through a place that is safe because the voice tells her that anything she doesn’t love could be an enemy.

She pulls her hand gently from Terra’s and sets both in her lap instead. She’s reminded of a moment from a few nights ago.

* * *

 

Another sleepless night and Aqua finds herself climbing down to the kitchen. A warm drink was better at banishing the awful nightmares and insomnia than the pacing usually. A light is already on when she reaches the room. Peeking in, Aqua spots Xion and Lea sitting at the table, mugs in their hands.

“Cocoa?” she asks, crossing over to start making herself some tea.

Lea snorts. “I don’t hate either of us enough to drink coffee this late.”

“I asked for it,” Xion says, kicking Lea underneath the table. He hisses and leans down to rub at his leg. “It always seemed...comforting in Sora’s memories.”

“It has a bit too much sugar to really be good for you...but it is nice.” Aqua’s hands still and she moves to grab the cocoa instead of her favorite tea. “Is there any milk left?”

Xion nods and Lea is the only source of noise as he grumbles about rude siblings. It feels like she walked in on something, but neither asks her to leave. Still, Aqua stands by the counter as she holds her mug between her hands. Xion stares down into hers while Lea watches her with concern written all over his face.

It quickly becomes unbearable. “Is everything okay?” Aqua asks, looking between the two of them.

“We’re-,” Lea starts, but Xion interrupts.

“I couldn’t sleep. Axel just doesn’t.”

Aqua looks at the redhead who shrugs. “Insomnia’s a bitch. I deal with it.”

Xion twists the mug in her hands. “I just had...nightmares.”

Carefully, Aqua pulls a chair out and joins them. “Ones you want to talk about? Some are...better left moved on from, but some it helps to talk through them.”

“It does?” Xion looks at her in surprise. “But why?”

“If you talk through them, you can see more how they’re nightmares instead of what’s real. And it can help you handle the parts that  _ are _ real. I talk about mine with Terra sometimes.”

Xion glances at Lea and then down into her mug. “I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about mine. They’re the real kind.” A tear slips down her cheek and she wipes it on her shoulder.

“Xion,” Lea sighs softly. “It’s okay.”

“I don’t want to have nightmares anymore. It’s over. Why do I have to remember it?”

Aqua sets a hand very gently on Xion’s arm. “I know. It would be easier if we could forget and move on. But, sometimes, we need to remember, that’s how we grow beyond that pain.” Aqua swallows. “Not always, but sometimes. Some things are just painful, but they’re still a part of our past and how we came to be in the present.”

Xion sniffs and lets go of her mug to rub at her face. “It sucks,” she says plainly. “Fuck Xehanort.”

“I’ll fucking drink to that,” Lea mutters and takes a big gulp from his cup.

“You shouldn’t swear,” Aqua tells him and he makes a face at her. “It’s rude and in this case, might convey something different than you intended.”

Lea points a finger at her. “That is a word with nuance and you both know exactly what I meant.”

Xion giggles a little and picks her cup up again. “Is this the way to not talk about it?”

“Yes,” Aqua says and smiles at her. “Sometimes, you just need reminded that your friends are here.”

“Right here no matter the hour,” Lea agrees. “Always.”

Xion grins at him. “I remember.” She looks at Aqua again. “You remind me of another friend. He was always good at talking about the bad stuff even when it hurt.”

“Oh?”   


“Yeah, Vanitas really helped me with some stuff, even in the little time we were together.” Xion’s expression makes it obvious that she knows just what kind of bomb that is.

Aqua presses her lips together. “Well. If you’ll excuse me.”

Xion sighs. “Okay, good night.”

Lea simply waves, eyes back on Xion.

At the time, Aqua had been offended. Her? Like Vanitas? Maybe she’s fallen further than she thought. She should never pressure a child to talk about the things from her past that haunt her.

* * *

 

Vanitas is standing there, hands fists at his sides, and the silence is one she’ll have to break.  _ He helped her. He touches Ven so gently the few times Ven doesn’t reach first. He might actually be...sorry. _

Aqua pushes herself to her feet and steps closer. Vanitas stays in place, braced, waiting for her response. She’s decently sure he still hasn’t resumed breathing. Aqua stops a foot away and looks at him. She lifts a hand to rub at her forehead, still searching for words, and that’s when he flinches.

She freezes in place and Vanitas watches her from the corner of his eye.  _ He doesn’t actually think that I would hurt him outside of a fight, does he? _ Aqua glances over her shoulder at Terra. The sorrow on his face is obvious, he saw it too. Aqua turns back and moves slowly, folding her hands in front of her where Vanitas can see them.

“It’s not alright. I won’t say that I’m alright with what you did. What you did to me, what you did to Ven, I’m still so...angry about it.” She’s so angry about everything in their past, all her failures and stopping him was such a big one. “You were terrible.”

Vanitas nods, but doesn’t say anything. He’s doing something with his jaw, but no words come from him. Two more Unversed appear, Yellow Mustard pots spinning through the air and sparking. She glances at them, but they don’t shoot at her now. Whatever Vanitas’s emotions, he’s got a hold on them.

Aqua continues, “I can’t say that I accept your apology.” She holds up a hand, still moving slow enough to not startle him. “Not yet,” she says, mostly to hold off her friends. “I haven’t seen anything that shows me that you might actually be different. A lack of assault while you’re injured could mean a lot of different things.” She’s shaking, she notes distantly. Her legs quiver, but she couldn’t begin to explain why. “So, I accept that you have offered an apology, but I don’t accept it, not yet. If I see that you mean it, that you are no longer the...person that Xehanort trained, then we’ll see.”

She’s not sure what she expected, but Vanitas simply nods. Aqua nods back and then backs up a step. “I think...I’m going to head in.”

“Hold on,” Ven says and holds a hand out toward her. “Wait just a minute, please?”

“Alright.” Folding her arms carefully over her chest, she looks between him and Vanitas.

Ven looks to Vanitas as well, but bites his lip instead of saying anything. Vanitas shifts his weight and glances over toward Terra and then away. “Well?” he bites out.

She looks to Terra too and he’s pushing himself back to his feet. “I forgive you,” he says once he’s standing. “It’s not like I didn’t do worse.”

“Terra,” Aqua and Ven protest immediately. “That wasn’t you,” Aqua continues. “It’s different.”

He smiles at her, sadly. “Maybe a bit, but I was older and had things he didn’t. I all but jumped into the trap with both feet.”

She frowns. “Had things...Vanitas didn’t?” It’s a ridiculous question and she flushes slightly. “What specifically is what I’m asking.” Of course they had things Vanitas didn’t. But he was darkness and negativity so it’s not like being around people other than Xehanort would make a difference, right?

Terra shrugs. “If someone encourages the worst of your behavior, you’d embrace it, wouldn’t you? Master Eraqus taught us all better. I had friends to tell me I was going the wrong way. We had each other and Ven had us.”

Ven smiles at them, but it’s gone quickly. 

“Vanitas, you had no one but Xehanort, right?” Terra looks at him.

Vanitas looks even more tense somehow, shoulders held stiffly, arms folded and fingers curled into his arms. He nods once, sharply. Words seem to have abandoned him. It’s odd when he always had more than a mocking few before.

Aqua shifts her weight to her other leg. “That is terrible, but…” She looks down at Vanitas and then frowns. 

Sweat is standing out on his forehead. Vanitas isn’t just tense, he’s trembling and trying to hide it. Sweating and shaking and holding his mouth shut because if he doesn’t-. And suddenly, she sees Ven and Sora all over him; he’s a young boy sick and hurting, and she is not the cruel person the Realm of Darkness tried to make her into. Aqua steps closer, hands out. “Sit down.”

“Vanitas?” Ven jerks to his feet. “Your fever was mostly gone. Crap, crap, crap.”

“Shh, Ven.” Aqua shakes her head slightly. “Stay calm. He just needs to sit down.” She motions to Vanitas who glares at her, but takes a step back and then sits heavily on the grass. 

Aqua squats down in front of him. “Is it the fever or is it the...other thing?” Suddenly, she’s mad at herself. She doesn’t even know what’s really wrong with him. She could have asked Ven; she could have asked Terra. She’s better than shutting out all the information that might change her mind.

Vanitas draws his knees up and wraps his arms around them. He works his jaw and then opens his mouth just barely. “Heart thing,” he mumbles and then snaps his mouth shut. He’s not quick enough; something like oil drips from the corner of his mouth. He rubs it away with his shoulder.

“Fuck,” Ven says from right behind her. Aqua looks over her shoulder, but he’s already squatting beside her. “Too much?”

Another nod from Vanitas and Aqua can see the way his eyes soften as he looks at Ven. It’s almost...pleading. Ven turns and looks at her. “Can you guys help me get him inside? This was a lot and his heart can’t really take it right now. We shouldn’t have pushed it.”

Terra is already nodding and offering Vanitas a hand. Vanitas eyes it and then glances at her. Aqua blinks, but he’s already carefully reaching for the hand as Ventus moves to his other side. They all straighten up, Vanitas with Ven’s arm wrapped around his shoulders and Terra’s hand on his back.

Aqua takes a step back from them. They move toward the tower and the further they get from her, the more Vanitas slumps. He coughs and she sees something black splatter over the ground. Ven murmurs something, Vanitas shakes his head, and Terra looks back at her, concerned.

She shakes her head and flaps her hand toward the tower. They’ll talk after he’s inside. Terra nods and then they’re climbing the stairs. The door hasn’t quite shut behind them when Aqua moves to where Vanitas coughed.

Something like oil is pooled together on the ground and she crouches to study it. It smells terrible, like rot and disease. Aqua presses a hand over her nose and breathes through her mouth. She doesn’t touch it, doesn’t get close enough for it to touch her, but she does hold her other hand out. She wants it gone. If it has the chance to seep into the soil, who knows what it will do as it festers.

Before she can burn it away with a fire spell, the oil bubbles. Something fights to pull itself from the goop. Claws scrabble at the grass and eyes blink away the oil. It almost looks like an Unversed, but one only half-formed. 

Aqua makes some noise, she’s not sure what, and it looks her way. Red eyes, they all have red eyes, stare at her as it slips further back into the oil. Part of its face splits open and it makes a sound that makes the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. It  _ cries _ and its eyes make it look like its weeping. Frozen from that dreadful, mournful sound, Aqua can only watch as it falls apart, back into the mass that birthed it.

It smells like sickness here and her stomach twists. Aqua lifts her hand again and the fire burns any sign of the mess away. The smell is already fading as she straightens up.

She wraps her arms around herself, stomach now twisting with something that feels like sympathy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The BBS light novel got me fucked up, so of course I added more of it here. ;o


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're really building to the end now. Only a couple more chapters and then it'll be done! Hopefully, they're all as good as the previous one.
> 
> Thank you all so much for the kind & heartfelt comments!

Ienzo pulls another book from the shelves and flips to the back to squint at the index. “I’m afraid that many of our more recent files suffered corruption due to various events. Particularly, and we thought thankfully, the ones on the darker parts of the heart. We did some very...terrible things to people, to their hearts. Such things should not be repeated.”

“You can say that again,” Lea calls from the doorway.

Terra glances his way, but looks back in time to see Ienzo shooting Lea a dirty look. 

It disappears as he turns back to the shelf. Ienzo clears his throat. “However, the origins of our research came from these tomes. Some, I believe, might even be from the library in your home.”

“It’s possible…” Terra rubs the back of his neck, a stack of books balanced on his other arm. “We never found anything about the complexities of the darkness of hearts during our studies. I never thought that there might have been anything, but maybe Master Eraqus removed them...or someone else did.”

Ienzo looks down from the ladder he’s standing on, expression difficult to decipher at their current distance. “...Maybe. Regardless, we should have something for you to work with.” He pulls one more volume from the same shelf and then climbs down. “I’m very interested to see the results of this endeavor. Frankly, we all are. The combination of hearts, even temporarily, is quite unexpected.”

Terra shrugs. “I’m really just the delivery boy. Aqua and Riku are doing all the research.”

“Hm. Well, if they don’t mind a few observers, tell them to give us a call.” Ienzo offers two more books over and Terra adds them to the stack in his arms.

“Thank you. I’ll let them know.” Terra adjusts the books and looks around the library again. It’s really quite beautiful. The shelves are stuffed with books and extend above their heads. Yet, it doesn’t feel at all cramped. It’s peaceful, the air full of a sense of calm that reminds him of the same room at home.

If that library is still standing.

Terra’s hands tighten on the books and he forces a smile onto his face. “Really, it’ll be up to Vanitas if he wants more people around and he’s not exactly the friendly sort.”

Lea snorts.

Ienzo shrugs. “I only met him briefly, but I can see why he’d be that way. I only ever saw the worst of Xehanort when he turned us into Nobodies. I can’t imagine seeing it for years.” He glances toward Lea, but this time it seems like a knowing look, a shared past.

His coming here was a bad idea. He needs to leave. “Hopefully, he never has to suffer anything like it again. I know it won’t be from me.” Terra turns. “We should get back. He’s not been doing well.”

Lea is still in the doorway and eyes him as he comes closer, but it’s Ienzo who grabs his arm.

“Wait a moment, Terra.” Ienzo’s grip is firm considering his size.

Terra looks over his shoulder. Ienzo isn’t frowning at him, but his gaze is quite firm. He squeezes Terra’s arm and has him turn slightly. “I simply want you to know that we’ve all done horrible things or been used to do them. If you ever want someone to talk to, we’ve been there in one way or another.”

Ienzo is not an intimidating person. He’s short, his hair covers half his face, and he’s young. Terra has no idea how old he is anymore, but he gets the feeling Ienzo is still a good bit younger than him. Yet, looking down at the young man, he feels like the one who folds, who needs support.

He swallows the lump in his throat. “Thank you, Ienzo.”

“Anytime.” Ienzo smiles at him, understanding in his gaze, and lets him go. “Let us know if there’s anything else we can do.”

“I will.”

Lea pats his shoulder as they leave. “I’m not going to lie, it is pretty weird seeing you all not-monologuing, but you really don’t look that similar.”

Terra sighs. “Thanks, I think. I really need to cut my hair.” It’s still brushing his shoulders and with everything else going on, he’s forgotten to ask.

“You and Isa both,” Lea mutters.

“Is he doing okay?”

Lea waves a hand. “Ehhh, better than I expected honestly.” He glances behind them, but the hall is empty except for the two of them. “We did a lot of shitty things to each other, so it’s not exactly easy to just...be friends again.”

Aqua and Ven forgave him instantly, so Terra really can’t relate. Of course, he has the excuse of his heart barely clinging on instead of being entirely pushed out. His body was his and the memories come back in pieces, but he can still put most of the blame on Xehanort.

Terra adjusts the books again. “Do you...want to be friends again?”

“More than anything. Isa was all I had when we were kids. I knew him better than anyone and would have done anything for him.”

“Didn’t you? Ven said that you charged in to get a keyblade just for him.”

Lea scratches the back of his head. “Aw man, he told you? What a blabbermouth. Yeah, I did. When we got all recompleted and he was one of the only ones missing, I kind of panicked. Having my heart back didn’t exactly help.”

There’s something in the way he says it that makes Terra smile slightly. “You helped guide him back.”

“That’s so cheesy.” Lea kicks at the floor. “But, you’re not wrong. I thought, one more chance, I’ll give him one more chance. Having a heart back could change everything.”

“Has it?”

Lea goes quiet and Terra counts their echoing steps as they keep walking. They’re almost to the door out when Lea speaks. “Yeah. I was always the crybaby, but since he got back…” He shakes his head. “It’s a lot for him to handle, finally being just himself and with his heart again.”

Terra slows and puts a hand on Lea’s shoulder. “If he needs someone else to talk to, I wouldn’t mind. If he wants, anyway. I know I’m kind of the face of everything that was awful for you two.”

“You are and you aren’t. Our problem are still our problems.” Lea shrugs, but a bit of his usual grin is back. “But I’ll pass it along. Maybe he’ll talk to  _ someone _ even if it’s not you.”

“We all need someone,” Terra agrees. “We’re never as alone as we think.”

* * *

 

_ It’s just a check-up. We want to know if it’s getting worse without the strain of a full dive. Keep calm, take a look, and then report back. _ Ven settles into his meditation, hands resting in his lap, and thinks of nothing but the ties between him and Vanitas.

The chains emerge from the darkness behind his eyes. His are still glowing with a warm white light, still a comforting piece of him, but he doesn’t give a  _ damn _ about himself right now. Ven ignores his side and reaches forward, reaches out for the links connected to his.

The grey links in the middle are as far as he can reach, cool to the touch and flickering slightly under his hands. Ven bites his lip and looks into the dark. Vanitas’s links are still as black as ever, harder to see than his own.

Ven forces himself to exhale and looks closer, squinting until he can see the edges of the chain links.  _ Solid, solid, solid...there. _ One of the closer links is thinner and trailing into dust. It’s still holding onto the link on either side, but he can tell that it won’t hold for much longer. And if it snaps…

_ Breathe. _ Ven inhales again and looks for any other weak pieces. He spots another and then a third, all looking thinner. He bites his lip rather than scream like he wants. It won’t help. He needs to keep calm. They’re getting closer to an answer every hour.

He closes his eyes and reopens them. Rubbing at his face, their room comes back into focus. Aqua is next to him, reading a dusty looking book with a fascinated look on her face. Terra is at the desk in the corner, a stack of books at his elbow and two open in front of him. Beside him, Vanitas is curled up under the blankets, one hand out just far enough that his fingers brush Ven’s leg.

Ven sighs and puts his hand over Vanitas’s. Aqua looks up at the noise and nods toward Vanitas. “He hasn’t twitched. Any luck?” She keeps her voice down. Ven’s not sure exactly what convinced her that this is worth doing, but he’s glad for it. There’s no one he trusts with magic like Aqua.

“It’s easy to see and it’s definitely worse than before. Nothing’s snapped apart yet, but I don’t know how much longer until it happens.” Ven moves his hand to Vanitas’s head. His fever has returned and the skin is too warm under his fingers. “Welcome back, Terra.”

Terra lifts a hand and waves, but continues his reading.

Aqua closes the book in her lap, marking her place with a finger. “He brought a good selection. I don’t know if I should be glad the library was preserved in Radiant Garden...but it helps us now. It’ll take us a while to get through all of this unless we get a lucky break.” She sits up a bit straighter and presses her fist to her back.

“Can we get anyone else to help? Mickey or Master Yen Sid?” Time, they don’t have enough time to read an entire library. Ven’s throat feels tight and he forces himself to swallow the lump.  _ It’ll be okay. I’ll hold him here long enough for an answer. No matter what it takes _ .

Aqua looks back at Terra and then down at her lap. “We could ask them. I didn’t think to…”

“Master Yen Sid wants us to save him,” Terra says without looking up. “I’m sure he’d be willing to read a book or two.”

“He’ll probably be performing whatever spell we find anyway,” Aqua agrees with a sigh. “I should have thought of that.”

Ven smiles a little. “Don’t worry about it. Terra and I are happy to do the thinking.”

“For once,” Terra adds.

Aqua laughs and stands up. “How nice of you two to do so. I’ll go see Master Yen Sid.”

Quiet descends again after the door thumps shut. Ven brushes his fingers through Vanitas’s hair, fighting not to think about how this could all fall apart. He knows he’ll have nightmares regardless, but during the day he should be free of the awful images. He sighs.

“You okay?” Terra asks quietly. “We’ll get there, Ven. We’ll make sure of it.”

His chin quivers and Ven bites down on his lip before he can start crying. He always knew they’d get Terra back, but it’s so  _ much _ to have him actually back and making those protective promises again. He really missed his brother. “I know you will. It means a lot to me that you guys would trust us, trust me that it’s worth it.”

“Of course it is. He’s just a kid.” Terra closes one book and turns, putting his arm on the back of the chair. “And you’re our little brother. Of course we trust you.”

Ven almost climbs out of the bed to throw himself at Terra. If Vanitas didn’t have that careful touch on his leg, he would. He settles for smiling at him. “Love you guys.”

Terra smiles back. “Love you too.” His fingers tap the still open book. “Can I ask a question?”

“Come on, you have to ask?”

“It’s polite!” Terra sticks his tongue out. “I’m curious. We’re looking for a magical way to replicate what Sora did for you. So...who’s going to be Sora for Vanitas?”

Ven’s face scrunches up. “We’re not sure yet. Vanitas thinks it’s not worth choosing until we know exactly the process we’re using because it could change who would be the best choice. All we have right now is gut instinct and what Naminé saw.”

“I didn’t see her map. What was her suggestion?”

“She didn’t make a suggestion really. She told us that Vanitas has connections with most of us now. She saw a connection to Sora, me, Xion, and Roxas, all decently strong.” Ven looks down at Vanitas again. His brow is wrinkled slightly; he never relaxes all the way, not even in sleep. “I can’t without something going wrong and Sora couldn’t really do anything when we dove. And he’s supported so many that honestly, I’m kinda worried about  _ his _ heart if he tries it again. So, that leaves Roxas and Xion and they’re still new so it might hurt them in a way they can’t easily recover from. Vanitas would hate to hurt them.”

Terra exhales slowly. “Huh. Kind of complicated. I wonder if we’ll find a way that can kind of...let more than one person help him. It won’t be such a strain if it’s not just one person giving all that away, right?”

“I...I think?” Ven shrugs. “I’m going through this on instinct, Terra, I gotta be honest.”

Terra chuckles. “That’s alright. Instinct is good since you two are so unique.”

“May your heart be your guiding key,” Ven murmurs, remembering Sora’s words of a few days ago. Something in him  _ aches _ , but it feels right. There is nothing so powerful as the heart. He trusts his.

“And your friends. We’ll find something...even if I feel like half of this is going over my head.”

Ven snorts. “Can I plead off as the lesser apprentice? I hate old books. It’s like it’s another language sometimes!”

Terra sighs. “It takes time, but it’s not impossible to get through.”

“But that’s time I could be doing other things!” Ven sighs. “Not in this case, but you know what I mean.”

“Means you’re an idiot,” Vanitas grumbles from beside him. He yawns, exposing his little fangs that Ven has wanted to poke for  _ forever _ and then blinks at him. “You’d think an education would kill you. That could be concrete information for a lot of things we’ve wondered about.”

Ven makes a face at him as he intertwines their fingers. “Meh.”

“I hate you,” Vanitas states flatly and smacks him with a pillow. “All the world at your fingertips and you answer with ‘meh.’”

“Meh,” Ven repeats and shoves the pillow back at him. “You get up and read some of these books then.”

“We’ve certainly got a stack,” Terra says, gesturing to the ones beside him.

Vanitas freezes and then forces the tension from himself. Ven smiles at him as he pushes himself upright and takes in Terra. For a moment, his jaw works as he grinds his teeth together. Ven pokes his cheek and Vanitas stops. He sighs. “If...you don’t mind.” It comes out stilted and a little bit forced, but he’s trying. Ven could hug him.

Terra doesn’t even seem to notice. He grabs the book off the top of the stack and tosses it at them. Ven grabs it from the air and Vanitas snatches it from him.

Realization strikes then. “Oh no,” Ven groans. “Now you’ll just be reading!”

“Were you expecting something else?” Terra grins at him.    
  
Vanitas ignores him, only leaning back against the pillows and already scanning the table of contents. 

Ven sighs. “I guess not, but maybe I’ll go do something I’m good at, like check with Naminé and the others.”

Now, Vanitas glances at him, but he looks quickly back down at the book. Anxiety pulses over their bond and Ven slumps back. “Well, maybe in a bit.”

Terra shrugs and turns back to the books in front of him. If he’s noticed any discomfort, he’s hiding it well. 

They all go quiet, Terra and Vanitas reading while Ven starts to doze. The quiet pulse of Vanitas’s feelings is stronger this way and for now, they’re not tinged with sour hate and anger. Fascination and interest aren’t feelings per se, but he gets the sense for them as Vanitas reads and reads.

Not long after, it’s Ventus that drifts off this time, his hand still gently held by Vanitas.

* * *

 

“Alright, what the fuck are we doing?” Roxas’s hands slap the table and he scowls at the small group around it.

“This is  _ not _ how you start a secret club meeting,” Sora protests. “You have to call it to order and stuff.”

Xion nods. “Yes, we have to be  _ official _ .”

“Are you kid-. Fine. Sora, you do it.”

Sora bounces to his feet. “Alright! I call to order the first all-inclusive Heart Hotel Club meeting. Let’s begin by taking role.”

“Is this because you missed school and remember it way too fondly? Sora, school  _ sucks _ .”

“Kairi’s here,” Sora says and makes a check mark in the air. “I’m here, check. Roxas?”

“Here?”

“Xion?”   
  
“Here!”

“Ven’s here.” Sora nods at Ventus who waves and then covers a yawn. “And so is Vanitas. That leaves Naminé!”

Naminé lifts a hand. “Here?”

“Perfect. Okay, go ahead, Roxas.” Sora drops back into his seat.

Rolling his eyes, Roxas smacks the table twice. “I repeat, what the fuck are we doing? We’ve got a heart in need of patching and a bunch of hearts waiting. So.”

Vanitas rolls his eyes. His arms are crossed over his chest and fever flush brightens his cheeks. “Having a stupid pointless meeting.”

“Shut up, Vanitas.”

Kairi lifts a hand. “I motion for Vanitas to shut up while the adults talk.”

“Seconded,” Sora says with a laugh.

“All in favor?” Kairi asks. Hands go up as everyone laughs except Vanitas. “Motion carried. Shut up, Vanitas.”

Vanitas grumbles and sinks lower in his seat at the round table. Ven pats his head like he would a dog’s. “We do have to figure this out. I don’t know how far we’re going to get without Master Yen Sid, Aqua, and Riku. They’re really doing the work.”

Roxas shakes his head. “Good for them. This is about which one of us is going to help  _ specifically _ . We want to be ready once they’re ready. We don’t know how much time we’re playing with.”

Eyes all shift to Vanitas who glares around the circle. Xion stands next, putting her hands on the table. “Naminé said I and Roxas had the next strongest connections after Ven and Sora. I  _ want _ to help.” Roxas nods agreement, crossing his arms.

“They are the strongest bonds that I found.” Naminé presses her fingers together. “That is not to say that they are the only hearts that could connect to Vanitas’s. Sora connected with Ven without knowing him. It only seems a bit easier to use that connection now because it’s being done by a spell.”

“Instead of pure will and a very empathetic heart.” Ven grins at Sora who goes a little red. “We are forcing this a bit more. Willing hearts would probably be the best thing to have. I can’t obviously, but I also think Sora should be removed from the possibilities list.”

Kairi arches an eyebrow. “What for? He already connected with both of you.”

Ven sighs. “And think about everything that’s happened since then. Think about how many hearts he’s had to bear thanks to Xehanort.”

They all trade glances and Kairi is already nodding. Sora frowns at them. “I’m  _ fine _ , you don’t need to baby me.”

“We’re not,” Roxas says. “We’re taking care of you. Give some of us a chance to do the work, Sora. You’ve already helped bring us all back one way or another.”

A patch, a face, a refuge, an origin, they’ve all been given something from Sora. He looks at them all and then nods. “Okay, okay. Then I think we should let Riku be considered in my place. He’s not connected to Vanitas, but he’s dealt a lot with darkness and his heart is very strong.”

“That’s a good idea.” Kairi hums and glances up at the ceiling. It’s patterned with stars that glow and fade. “He’s not in our super special club, but I bet he’d want to.”

“I’d ask Terra,” Ven admits. “But he just got himself back and I think he’s pretty shaky. As much as he’d probably feel better to give some of that up, he needs time to recover.”

“Anybody else?” Xion asks. “It’s not all of his heart and it didn’t take much from Sora even as a newborn heart, so I think Roxas and I can handle it.”

Vanitas drums his fingers on the table so they all look at him. “If you’re all done discussing things without my input…” He looks at them and sighs through his nose. “While I appreciate you all divvying up this bullshit to try and prepare, we don’t know what will be needed. I’m not taking anything from two kids who just got their hearts and bodies back.”

“Well, this isn’t your decision to make, Vanitas. We’re offering and you can’t stop us,” Xion fires back, eyes bright. “In the end, Yen Sid and Aqua will make the decision of what we’re doing, but you can’t block us from trying to help you. Especially not after everything you did for us.”

“I didn’t do anyt-.”

“Yes, you did,” Roxas argues. “You and Ven both helped us so much when we returned to Sora. You made us  _ feel _ like people and didn’t let us talk ourselves out of it. You argued that people were wrong to treat us that way.  _ You _ helped protect us when shit started to go bad.”

The flush on Vanitas’s cheeks is spreading, but not in embarrassment. Anger grows over his face and the shadows always clinging so close to him billow. “And then I was instrumental in helping start the second war! I was part of the  _ enemy _ . Ask Sora, ask  _ her! _ ” He jabs a finger toward Kairi.

Kairi and Sora both shake their heads, but it’s Kairi who speaks. “Xehanort messed you up and shoved his heart into yours. Yeah, you’re an asshole and you were a mocking jerk to me and Axel, but that doesn’t mean you deserve to be punished for being someone else’s pawn.”

Vanitas looks down at the table, hands clenching on the edge. Ven squeezes his shoulder. Xion covers one of Vanitas’s hands with hers. “We’ve been puppets. Would you blame us for what we did under Xemnas’s orders?”

“You didn’t know,” Vanitas argues, but it’s flat now. 

“You didn’t either. He took it all away from you, Vanitas. Your heart, your memories. The person with us in Sora’s heart is the one here, not Xehanort’s tool.” Xion squeezes his hand and Vanitas lets go of the table. She takes it and holds on tight.

Vanitas slumps. “Fine. But I’m giving my reasons against this to Aqua. She’ll agree.”

Ven rolls his eyes where the others can see. “Sora and Kairi can talk to Riku and then we’ll tell Master Yen Sid who’s offered.”

Sora smacks the table. “Meeting adjourned!” He leads the way out, Kairi pulling the door shut behind the two of them.

The rest of them stay where they are, Naminé shifting in her seat. Xion still has Vanitas’s hand and Roxas is staring at the ceiling, blinking rapidly lest he let a few tears fall. Naminé clears her throat and smiles awkwardly as they all look at her. “I just wanted to say...it is as I told you, Vanitas. You’re loved. People who care about one another, who love one another, will do incredible things for each other. That’s why Sora has done so much.”

Roxas inhales and exhales heavily. “Yeah. We love you. We’re not going to let you slip away, no matter what.”

“You and Ven protected and helped us. So, it’s our turn to help you guys.” Xion shakes Vanitas’s arm a little. “So no arguments, got it?”

Vanitas is stuck between Xion and Ventus, Naminé and Roxas looking on with smiles. He looks at them and then goes red up to the tips of his ears. “Got it,” he mumbles. “When did you become such a force?”

Xion puffs a little with pride. “When my friends told me I was worth fighting for.”

_ You are too _ , say the hands on his and the smiles directed his way. Vanitas closes his eyes and feels the pulse of love and pride from his other half.  _ Always _ .

“I’ve always enjoyed a good fight,” Vanitas says as he opens his eyes. “I’ll give this one my best.”

He gets swallowed in a hug and warmth floods the broken thing in his chest that they’re so desperate to save.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for step 5 in the Villains Tridecagon: Get really into unethical science!

The chairs clatter as people pull them out and take seats. There’s a low buzz of conversation, greetings for friends that haven’t gone far, but even across the tower can feel like it was miles away. It settles as they do, eyes turning expectantly to the woman standing and waiting for them.

Aqua looks around their group all gathered in the dining room.  _ All this for Vanitas, a boy I hated. _ She presses her hands together and begins. “We think we’ve found something that will work. Looking through these texts with Master Yen Sid, we’ve discovered a spell that was intended to allow people using darkness to combine their abilities, their strength. It is...very dark magic in its original incarnation.”

“But, Riku and I worked with the Master to make modifications. It’s...not something we can entirely test, but Master Yen Sid is confident that our modifications and our wills will allow it to work as we intend. At its most basic, the spell was intended to open two hearts using darkness and allow them to combine their darkness. However, we’re adjusting it so we’ll only really be opening one heart: Vanitas’s.”

Glances are thrown Vanitas’s way, but he just nods, arms crossed over his chest.

Aqua traces a meaningless shape on the table’s surface. “Once we have his heart open, Naminé and Sora will be performing another spell on the hearts of those who have offered their assistance. This will open the bonds between their hearts and Vanitas’s to allow for them to give him their power, a bit of their darkness in this case. Naminé and Ven will be monitoring the bonds the entire time to make sure nothing goes wrong or it pulls too much away from those offering themselves.”

“I’ll be keeping Vanitas’s heart open, but also in place. We’ll all have to watch out for one another. Anyone not mentioned is allowed to observe, but I’ll be placing barrier spells before we begin so no outside forces can affect the process.” Aqua bites her lip. “It’s still...a risk, but it’s the best we’ve got considering how unique all of this is. Any questions?”

Vanitas is already standing up. “Yeah, where’s the location for this? Your barrier spells are strong, but you won’t be focused on them. There’s a lot of ambient magic here and I don’t want anything weird interfering while Roxas and Xion are pushing a part of themselves out.”

“An understandable concern,” Yen Sid says. “I believe Aqua’s barriers should be sufficient as there is no place available without its own natural magic.”

“Then I have a suggestion.” Vanitas shifts his weight to one foot, glancing at Roxas, Xion, and Ventus. “I have no connection to this place and while that means no negative memories, there aren’t positive ones either.” He hesitates and his fingers dig into his arm. “There’s...a place, that should be better.”

Roxas sits up straighter. “The island!”

Sora looks bemused. “Destiny Islands?”

“Yeah, the play island. That’ll be perfect.” Roxas nods. “That place is  _ safe _ to all of us.”

“The play island,” Sora repeats. “But have you guys ever…”

“Briefly,” Ven interrupts, “we were there once when you guys were kids. That wasn’t a particularly positive memory, but that’s not really what Vanitas means. He’s talking about all the time in your heart. It looks just like that, so for us it’s a good place. It might ease his heart while we’re doing all of this.”

Yen Sid hums and strokes his beard. Aqua frowns. “You want us to do this on the beach? I’m not sure…”

“There’s not just the beach,” Vanitas says, not looking at her. “There are structures if you’re worried about people, but I think Sora and his friends can chase them off for a few hours.”

“Definitely.” Kairi shrugs. “It’s not like anybody spent as much time there as we did. I like it. We’ll go back to where everything started. That’s where Ven’s heart touched Sora’s in the first place, right?”

Sora puts a hand to his chest. “Yeah...it was.” He brightens, smiling right at Vanitas. “Let’s do it!”

Aqua rubs her forehead. “I don’t know how things have changed there, so I’d prefer to go take a look to prepare.”

“No problem. We can all go!” Sora’s already taking to his feet. “I’ll get the gummi ship warmed up!”

Vanitas sits back down and sighs. Ven bumps their elbows together, eyes shining. “I was hoping we’d get to see it again, together.”

His face burns, but Vanitas nods.  _ Watching the sunset, so many feelings that he was only just beginning to understand and wanting, always, to be together. _

* * *

 

It’s the middle of the day in Destiny Islands and Sora barely parks the ship before bouncing out first. He’s already tossing his jacket into the sand and running into the waves when everyone else climbs out. Kairi runs after him, throwing her shoes aside while Riku actually drops them into a neat pile.

Ven volunteers to take a walk with Aqua, finding a good spot for their work and discussing details and concerns. Xion and Naminé go for a walk along the shore, bending down to search for shells hidden in the sand. Roxas and Vanitas are the last off. They’re both quiet as they look at their friends and the sun and the sea.

“It’s weird being here for real with everyone. I kind of thought we’d never actually make it.” Roxas kicks a fallen palm leaf aside and takes a seat on the low stone wall that protects the path around the treehouse.

Vanitas sits beside him. “I always knew you two would. Sora’s that type of kid. I figured, before, that I’d be trying not to get locked up at the Land of Departure.”

Roxas arches an eyebrow. “You know, Aqua’s fierce, but she hasn’t taken anyone’s head off  _ yet _ . You must have really done something to think she was going to lock you up.”

“Trust me,” Vanitas says, “I was really shitty to her. You and Xion got treated like things, right? Well, I called her a backup to her face while taunting her about how I was going to help kill her friends.”

Roxas winces. “Okay, that’s pretty shit.”

“I do my best.”

“Did,” Roxas corrects and shoves at his shoulder. “I’m glad it didn’t turn out that way. Axel already promised us a beach day, but Xion and I were definitely going to invite you guys for another.”

Vanitas shades his face, looking toward the three locals splashing each other. “Are we really beach people?”

Roxas laughs. “Ven’s happy  _ anywhere _ and come on, I know you want to see this place for real. I know it’s not got everything, but…”

“Yeah, yeah.” Vanitas punches him in the shoulder. “Those kids are lucky. This place is...peaceful.”

“Mm, yeah.” Roxas looks out at the water too. Lucky to have peaceful home, sure, until it wasn’t. Even Destiny Islands wasn’t safe from the darkness. Sunlight catches on Riku’s bright hair and Roxas frowns a little. How often does Riku blame himself for that? Hard to guess and Roxas won’t be asking. He still blames himself for crystal shards breaking apart in his arms.

Roxas puts his hands behind him and leans back with a sigh. “We should have brought ice cream.”

Vanitas looks at him flatly. “You are going to lose teeth. All that sugar is bad for you.”

“Gee thanks, mom.” Roxas sticks his tongue out. “I don’t think one bar on the beach is going to kill me.”

“It might if you choke on it.”

“Is that a threat? You wanna go?”

Vanitas punches him in the shoulder again. “You want something to smack around, then I’ll fill the beach with Unversed for you.”

Roxas’s nose wrinkles. “That hurts you, asshole. No thanks.  Maybe Sora will spar me.”

“He definitely will even though you idiots keep doing all those morning practices.”

“You’re missing all the exciting fun at those, you know. We all stand like shit and Aqua despairs that we’ll all throw our backs out. Come suffer with us.”

“No thanks. I already have formal training,” Vanitas says blandly. “And Sora’s stance does suck. Why he slouches like that, I have no idea. Sure, it can be a two-handed weapon, but he’s twisting himself all around.”

Roxas blinks. “Never mind. If you come, it’ll be twice the lectures.”

Vanitas’s lips curl up into a smirk and Roxas grins. Vanitas’s smiles are always hard won and it feels good to see one. He can’t be doing so bad if he’s still able to have a good time.

Closing his eyes, Roxas listens to the waves and the sounds of their friends, just enjoying a moment of real peace.

Of course, his half-daze is broken by drops of water falling onto him as a shadow blocks him from the sun. Roxas opens one eye with a scowl. Sora is grinning at him from not a foot away. “You guys can’t sit here all day. Come on! The ocean feels great and we checked for riptides. Come swim!” He grabs at Roxas’s arm who smacks at him.

“I’m not swimming in my clothes!”

Sora blinks. “Why not? Everything dries.”

“You went in with your shoes on! That’s disgusting.”

“It’s just  _ water _ . Mud is way worse. The faeries give me way more grief about it than my mom ever did.”

Vanitas makes a choked noise and when they both look over at him, he has a hand pressed over his mouth. His eyes are squinted up but it’s impossible to tell what face he’s making with half his face covered.

Sora grins and wraps his arm around Roxas’s neck, tugging them together so he gets even more water on him. “Sora!”

“Are you this way about baths?” Sora asks. “You’re going to smell, Roxas.”

That is too much and Vanitas doubles over, laughing loudly. Sora grins even harder and even Roxas can’t entirely fight the twitch to his lips. He shoves at Sora’s arm. “Get off. I get clean in water that isn’t salty!”

“I figured it’d be more natural to you after all the ice cream.” Sora’s eyes are alight and Vanitas is still laughing.

“Dammit,” Vanitas chokes out. “You guys are such  _ idiots _ .”

Roxas kicks at his legs. “So are you! Sora, drag Vanitas in instead.”

“Oh, gladly!” Sora moves quickly, letting go of Roxas and scooping up Vanitas to hang over his shoulder.

Vanitas yells in surprise and smacks at him. “I will drown you, you goddamn fool!”

Sora blows a raspberry and continues determinedly toward the ocean. “I’m a junior lifeguard, I’d love to see you try. You guys never even spent time on a beach!” He’s almost to the water.

His victim struggles, but can’t seem to get loose from Sora’s grip. He has no leverage with his hands or legs and swears. “Fucking, Sora! Let me go!”

“Nope! Here we go, Vanitas!” Sora runs and jumps into the waves, soaking them both. Vanitas comes up sputtering and splashing water at him, but Sora just laughs. He’s not the only one. Up on the beach Roxas has been joined by Ven and Aqua. Ven is laughing loudly, almost bent double and Roxas is clinging to the wall so he doesn’t fall off.

Vanitas, spotting them, sinks a bit back under the water. It covers his face all the way to his nose and does nothing to hide how red he is. He glares at Sora, murder in his eyes. After a moment, he ducks fully under the water. Stirred up by their splash landing, it’s not as clear as normal. 

Sora knows a threat when he sees one and dives under too. A moment later, a jet of water shoots straight up, Sora on top of it and laughing again. Vanitas resurfaces and shoves his wet hair out of his face. Grumbling threats, he trudges back to the beach.

Ven, still laughing, meets him at the edge of the waves. “H-Having fun?”

Vanitas wraps his arms around Ventus’s waist and throws him into the surf.

* * *

 

The sun is setting when they all settle on the beach. Half of them are still soaked or brushing dried salt off their clothes. Surprising to all but two members of their group, Ventus and Vanitas had gone after one another in a water fight for much longer than anyone else. Xion and Roxas had rolled their eyes and taken Naminé to go look at the view from the ship deck.

Aqua holds her wayfinder up, comparing it to the fruit that started the legend. “What a strong connection. It even brought our worlds together.”

Kairi smiles at her. “It brought us all together and then back together again. I’ll never tell the aunties at the market that they’re full of it ever again.”

Riku, sitting on her other side, coughs. “I think they might still hold a grudge against me for how rude I was.”

“Aunties never forget, Riku.  _ Never. _ ”

“I’m doomed to pay my respects until I pass on.”

Laughing, Kairi leans into his shoulder. Sora is asleep on Riku’s other side, always so quick to doze off on their beach.

Aqua looks through the blue glass again, seeing how the colors shift inside. Slowly, she lowers it to take in the sunset all on its own. It’s just as beautiful, painting the sky in pinks and oranges. “This...was a good idea. We’ll have to come back just for fun.”

“Definitely,” Ven agrees, covering a yawn. “We’ll bring everybody and snacks and make a whole day of it. Nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing but sunscreen. You guys are so pale,” Kairi says sadly. “Nobody’s getting skin disease on our watch. Especially not your boyfriend.” She sticks the tip of her tongue out.

Ven colors and sticks his out right back. “Not my fault he got my complexion and not Sora’s.”

“Vampire,” Riku mutters.

Aqua sighs with something that could almost be a smile. Drawing her knees up, she wraps her arms around them. “I suppose we’ll have to see after tomorrow.”

Asleep on Sora’s other side, Vanitas exhales. For once, his face is relaxed, mirroring the boy who gave him his first second chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left, guys. Then a little epilogue for some fun. Thank you all for coming this far with me and I hope you enjoy the end!


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, we're actually here. I've never finished a long fic before so this is quite the feeling. Thank you to everyone who's read, subscribed, left kudos, and commented on this fic. We wouldn't have made it here without you!
> 
> Alright, take a deep breath, here we go!

Sunrise is just beginning when the ship lands on a deserted beach. Three gliders come in close behind, disappearing in flashes of light. The quiet beach quickly becomes bustling, a crowd of people moving around and setting up cots and seats. The ship departs and then returns almost too quickly with more visitors. These new arrivals add more clutter to the beach, a couple devices that shine metallically in the growing sunlight.

Despite all the work, voices stay low and four figures slip off to the other side of the island to watch the sunrise.

Roxas and Xion takes seats on the curved trunk of the paopu tree as Ventus and Vanitas sit in the sand. None of them talk, just watching the brightening sky in a place that was always a sanctuary. If any healing can be had, it will be strongest for them here.

As the sun rises higher, Ventus’s grip grows tighter on Vanitas’s hand. Vanitas simply leans into his shoulder, letting the pulse of their emotions fill him. The strongest is love and care, as it always is. The tension and worry fade to the background in the face of their dual heartbeat.

The sun clears the horizon and they hear footsteps over the sand approaching. Terra looks up at the four of them. “We’re ready.”

Vanitas stands up first and leads the other three back through the door to the cove, the beach, and everyone who’s come to assist. Ventus keeps a hold of his hand and Terra wraps an arm around Ven’s shoulders as they reach the crowd.

Aqua approaches them, the center of everything despite her concerns about her ability. “We’re ready. How about you?”

“Not yet,” Xion answers. She throws her arms around Vanitas, hugging him tightly. _Just in case_ , the awful part of her mind whispers. Roxas does the same from the other side, the four of them all together for one more moment. _Just in case. We’ve already lost him once._

They pull apart and Vanitas nods. He gives Ventus’s hand one last squeeze and then lets go. There is nothing to say to one another, not when everything they feel conveys it better than any words.

Vanitas approaches the cot at the center of it all, the observational machines and the crowd. He takes a seat on it and then summons his keyblade. Void Gear is stabbed point first into the ground, the eye set in its guard catching the sunlight. “There. In case you need one more sign of how I’m doing.”

“You know,” Sora says slowly, “that is a really cool keyblade when it’s not pointed at me.”

“I’m jealous,” Xion says with a sigh. “I can still only call Oblivion half the time. I want something more me.”

“I told you guys you could borrow some of my keychains!”

Xion shakes her head. “Nope, I want one that’s all me before I start messing with those.”

“Anyway,” Aqua interrupts kindly. “Xion, Roxas, and Riku, if you could take a seat too.”

They do as asked, Riku stretching out on his like he’s ready for a nap. “Feels like we just did this.”

“It’s a bit different than diving, asshole.” Roxas makes a face at him, but his voice is calm. “At least pretend to be ready.”

Riku yawns. “Ready.”

“Glad we’re all taking this seriously,” Vanitas drawls.

Aqua shakes her head and turns to face everyone else. “I’m going to put the barrier up now. Please make sure you’re outside of the place I marked earlier.”

Terra and Axel are already in chairs out of range, both of them watching with concern. Only the barrier will keep them from charging in if something goes wrong. The scientists from Radiant Garden, Ienzo and Even give everything one last check and then step back. Even mutters to himself, but Ienzo just shakes his head. “Sit,” he tells the older man and thrusts him toward a chair.

More of their friends step back: Donald, Goofy, and Mickey all giving smiles of encouragement, Kairi grabbing one more hug from her boys, and even Saïx watches from behind Axel’s seat. Yen Sid places a hand on Aqua’s shoulder and squeezes. His voice is warm. “You do a great thing today, Master Aqua. Your Master would be proud.”

Seeing how her hands shake at the words, Ven wraps his arms around her in a hug. “Yeah, he would. You’ve got this, Aqua!”

“Thank you,” she says softly. She turns to return Ven’s hug and then summons Stormfall into her hand. She lifts the other, magic shining around her fingers, and then a barrier shimmers into being around them. It flashes as it settles into place, cutting them off from one another.

Sora taps it curiously. “I really have to learn this. I would have to dodge so much less.”

Naminé giggles a little. “You like rolling around.”

He grins at her. “Okay, maybe a bit.”

Ven joins them and despite his smile, the bags under his eyes give away more his true restless night. Sora takes one of his hands and squeezes. “It’ll be done before you know it. Then we can take a break and have a huge lunch right here on the beach.” He leans them a bit closer to Naminé. “Don’t tell anybody else, but Axel and I totally snuck a huge cooler of ice cream with us.”

Some of the tension fades from Ven’s face as he laughs. “My lips are sealed.”

“Sora, Naminé, Ven, let’s have you in place too. We don’t know exactly what’ll happen when we start.” Aqua waves them over, closer to her side than the cots.

Roxas and Xion have joined Riku in lying down, but Vanitas stays sitting up, eyes on his keyblade. It stares back, _it’s always stared back._ He takes a breath and looks up at Aqua. The blue in her eyes has always been like steel and now, he’s glad for it. No matter what happens, she will see this through. _She’ll make sure they all survive._

Stormfall is lifted up and pointed right at Vanitas’s chest. Quiet takes quick hold as they all wait a breath. Aqua squeezes her eyes shut and then opens them again. She whispers a word too softly for anyone else to hear and dark light shoots from the end of her keyblade to strike Vanitas’s heart.

Darkness explodes out from him. A miasma that writhes and takes shape and falls apart back into itself, it fills the barrier with darkness. Aqua keeps Stormfall out, keeps her heart pointed forward, and she grips the dark thing struggling to escape. Reaching arms pass over all of them; its touch is cold, but no claws dig into their skin, no fangs snap at them. It brushes over them and then folds back into itself. Vanitas’s darkness pulls itself back in, still writhing, still flashing with red eyes, but slowly containing itself.

Sora, vision clear again, calls his keyblade to hand. It comes easy, always warm to the touch and feeling like an old friend. He holds it with both hands and looks to Naminé. She rubs her eyes and then nods to him. She places a hand over his on the Kingdom Key. Its end glows as they channel their magic through the blade. Together, they call out to the hearts connected to theirs.

White chains appear, traveling from the three waiting on the other cots. Xion’s rises quickly and darts into the darkness, Roxas’s close behind. Naminé and Sora whisper encouragement to Riku’s and soon it enters the dark.

Ven folds his hands together, closes his eyes, and falls into the dark.

* * *

 

His heart opens and it feels like their heart is being pulled apart again.

Darkness is oil and rot and dripping claws fighting their way free because he feels so much that it can’t be contained in his skin. The broken, shattered, reaching half of his heart screams in agony, always pain as it stutters a damaged beat. His darkness fights to live, fights to take back what belongs to it, fights because it must against all the light of the world.

Light shines around him and his darkness reaches for it. It touches the light gently; it knows these hearts. Satisfied that no enemies are near, he pulls it back. He knows his darkness, the awful feelings and the hurt that makes it up. It’s his to bear and his to keep.

_Vanitas gathers what’s left of his heart in his hands and waits._

The platform is...well, it’s the same. Vanitas walks over the glass in clothes that don’t cling to him with sticky threads made from his very essence. His image below is still shadowed, his face covered because sometimes he still can’t stomach the loss. The broken pieces shimmer in the air, waiting to be lost for good or somehow rebuilt. The pillar itself still gapes with lost chunks, the structure ready to collapse under much more struggle. The urge to fill them with his darkness, the darkness all around him, is strong, but Vanitas swallows it.

He waits for the connections Naminé was so sure of, the ones he thinks might be there just out of sight. Ventus’s chain, glowing white and beautiful, is still there, still anchoring him here. Vanitas touches it and would swear he feels a warm hand press against his. _I’m here._

_Ventus feels a hand in the dark and presses his against it, chains glowing all around them._

Something shines above him and Vanitas looks up. Another chain descends, grey links shining like stars. It dives past him and the surface to anchor itself in one of the gouged parts of the pillar. That silver light pulses from it and begins to fill in the gap, pressing against the darkness.

Another appears, links an alternating black and white. It plummets with reckless abandon until it finds a spot on the opposite side to anchor itself. More silver light glows from it, filling in another part of him.

The third comes carefully, curling through the empty space until it’s within Vanitas’s reach. He arches an eyebrow. “Don’t look at me. Just go.” The links are bright with light, a thread of darkness at the center of each of them. It takes the opposite side of the pillar from Ventus’s chain, falling the furthest into the dark before it connects.

Four hearts pulse and Vanitas grits his teeth. Nothing in his life has ever been painless, but this is an entirely different thing. Foreign pieces press against his heart and his instincts scream at him that they are _wrong._ There is only one heart that’s meant to touch his like this, to rejoin, to fulfill, _to remake the world._

Gasping, Vanitas shoves that part of him down. “They’re doing this for me and _I’m not Ventus. I never will be_ **_again_ **.”

The silver light presses against unwilling darkness; it struggles to heal the raw edges of his heart. Vanitas grits his teeth and tells himself to trust the warm light of sunrises and sunsets, of a pair of lost children who were told they didn’t deserve to exist, of the connections both new and old that even Xehanort knew had changed him.

The darkness pulls back, exposing all the broken bits of his heart. Silver light rushes in, covering each jagged edge until the whole pillar blazes and Vanitas can’t see anything anymore.

* * *

The deteriorating links are glowing with a soft light and Ventus can see them beginning to thicken. His bond with Vanitas, the touch of their hearts is being rebuilt. He sighs with relief and watches carefully for any trouble. They’re close to the end; he’ll be able to hold Vanitas close and the minutes they have now are innumerable.

Ven puts a hand to one of the chains and sends all his love to his other half.

* * *

Naminé keeps careful watch on the moon of Vanitas’s heart and the chains that feed into it. Xion and Roxas have their hearts, but they’re so new. It wouldn’t help any of them if something went wrong and they were damaged. She’s done too much hurting to let more happen now.

Riku’s chain might be new and a bit unsure, but his strength of heart is a match for Sora’s. He barely knows Vanitas, but he will give everything for his friends.

She presses her physical hand more firmly to Sora’s, his keyblade warm under their hands. _A little bit more, just a little bit more._

* * *

The darkness contains itself, a dark orb always twisting and writhing into a knot. Aqua holds it in place with her spell and her will and her eyes. She knows the shadows well now, knows how they can seem carefully divided from the light and then spring from behind it when you least expect it.

No shadow from Vanitas’s heart will do any harm to her friends. She won’t let it.

But she won’t let it go either.

The magic she’s using is distasteful, using the shadows that have grown in her heart. It feeds them and she hates how it feels. She will never be a shadow, never be one with the darkness. She is the Master of the Land of Departure, master of the keyblade, and friend to Terra and Ven. No matter the shadows, she will fight through them.

_For Ven, for Terra, for a boy who was twisted and used as much as we were, and for_ **_me_ ** _._

Master Aqua tightens her grip on her shadows and lets them touch nothing but what she wills.

* * *

 

A crack echoes through the darkness, through the cool morning air of Destiny Islands.

Void Gear, still stabbed into the sand, fractures down its length right through both slitted blue eyes.

Ven loses his hold on their bond, Vanitas’s chains vanishing in a flash of light. He rubs his eyes and blinks away the spots, the beach and the equipment coming into focus. Xion, Roxas, and Riku are stirring, all three of them rubbing at their chests.

Sora and Naminé move from beside him, going to check on the other three. Ven eyes Vanitas, lying collapsed on his side on the cot. He’s breathing, but there’s no other feedback; that’s not unusual when he’s sleeping. Ven glances toward Aqua, trying to see if she’s concerned about how this ended, but he sees the keyblade first.

Void Gear is almost in half, the crack along it widening slowly, breaking the blade into more and more pieces. Ven lunges for it, hands outstretched, determined to hold every bit of Vanitas’s heart.

It disappears just as his fingers brush it, a cold touch and then it’s gone in a flare of black fire. It disappears like an Unversed, leaving nothing behind. Ven has seen Void Gear dismissed, has seen the red and black stars that flash around Vanitas’s hand and then vanish along with the blade. He just saw it when he found Vanitas again in the Graveyard. _It shouldn’t-. It’s never-._

Ven kneels in the sand, staring at the empty space. Vanitas is beside him, still collapsed on the cot. _Breathing, he’s breathing, but what about everything else?_ Wayward Wind comes to him and before anyone can stop him, he initiates the dive, leaving his body collapsed on the sand.

* * *

 

_The light fades slowly, leaving a boy lying on a pillar of glass and darkness. His face glows from beneath him under a field of stars._

Ventus’s heart is pounding in his ears, louder even than the air rushing past him. He forces his eyes open, squints into the dark, and almost cries in relief.

Vanitas’s heart is below him; it’s no longer half-shattered, no longer crawling with shadows, and there’s someone lying in the center of it. Everything else can wait. Ventus dives until his feet hit the glass and he can scramble to Vanitas’s side.

He grabs Vanitas’s shoulders, carefully lifting him up. He’s warm, not fever hot anymore, and seems uninjured. Ven bites his lip and then gives Vanitas a very careful shake as he calls his name.

Vanitas groans, “Go away.”

“Not on your _life_ , Vanitas. You scared the shit out of me!” Now, Ven shakes him a bit harder. “Wake up and tell me you’re okay.”

A hand is planted on the center of his face and Vanitas pinches his nose shut clumsily. “Stop it. I’m...fine.”

“The hesitation is really convincing,” Ven says stuffily. He shakes his head so Vanitas’s hand comes loose. Vanitas presses it to his head instead.

“I think I’m fine. I feel like...I just fought Aqua.” Vanitas puts his other hand to the glass and pushes himself upright. His eyes are squeezed shut as if he’s fighting off dizziness. “Alright, I might throw up on you.”

Ven steadies him. “Did something go wrong? Everyone was waking up and I saw-.” His voice chokes off and he tightens his grip on Vanitas. “Void Gear’s not...not there anymore.”

Vanitas shrugs like he’s not surprised and rubs at his eyes. “Everything lit up like a damn explosion, but it’s not like stuff shattered.” He blinks and squints around the platform. “Huh, it’s different.”

“You’re all in one piece,” Ven says with relief, looking around too.

The image of Vanitas on the platform is still in the dark suit, but instead of having his head pointed toward the bottom, he’s been flipped upright. Void Gear is still held loosely in one hand, but there’s something off about the blade; Ven doesn’t care enough to really look at it. The graveyard no longer fills the space behind Vanitas’s image, instead there’s a dark sky full of stars. The brightest star, Ven’s wayfinder, is still glowing, but now it’s right next to Vanitas’s face. Roxas and Xion’s faces have taken the place of the ice cream and seashell, both of them smiling. The outline of a heart fills the last circle; exactly half of it is black, the other half white.

Ventus pulls Vanitas into a tight hug. Everything here is a projection, but his other half feels so very solid in his arms. Vanitas’s arms are solid and strong when he returns the hug, burying his face in Ven’s shoulder. “I love you,” he whispers. “I still love you.”

“I love you too,” Ven whispers back. “With my whole heart.”

Vanitas sucks in a breath and starts to lift his head, but someone coughs behind them. They both whip around and Riku waves awkwardly. Ven starts to go red. “Oops,” he mumbles.

“Yeah,” Riku agrees, “you scared the shit out of everyone. We better go back now before somebody flips out and someone gets stabbed.”

“I knew I liked a few of them,” Vanitas mumbles. Ven shoves at him, but helps him get to his feet.

“No stabbing. I’m coming back. I just had to…”

Riku holds up a hand. “Don’t worry about it. I get it. But, I’m not leaving until you do.”

Ven sticks his tongue out. “Yeah, yeah, I figured. Vanitas…”

“Go, I’ll be right behind you.” Vanitas squeezes his hand and there’s something different to his face, just like there’s something different about Void Gear beneath their feet. Ven frowns, but before he can search it out, Vanitas pushes at his shoulder. “Go, Ventus.”

With a sigh, Ven does as ordered. In a flash of light, he rises from Vanitas’s heart.

To say that people are upset with him is an understatement. Ven is grabbed by half a dozen hands when he stirs and at least that many people shout over each other. He waves them all off and sits up, shaking the sand from his hair. Void Gear is still gone and Vanitas is still slumped on his side, but as Ven reaches for his hand, Vanitas stirs.

Everyone goes quiet, waiting, and Ven takes his hand to give him an anchor. Vanitas sighs once their fingers touch and his eyes open. The first thing he sees is Ventus smiling at him. “Good morning.”

“Fuck off,” Vanitas grumbles. “I still feel like Aqua’s punching bag.”

“I never punched you…”

“Shh!”

Ven ignores them and carefully puts a hand to Vanitas’s cheek. His thumb presses right under Vanitas’s eye. Vanitas squints at the light that Ventus isn’t quite blocking. “It’s bright.”

“That’s the sun,” Ven teases and Vanitas scowls at him. “Maybe your eyes need to adjust.”

“Probably.” Vanitas rubs at them. “There’s not a sun in _my_ heart.”

“True, but that’s not what I’m talking about.” Ven’s grin is quickly growing. Vanitas’s gaze flicks back to him, red eyes so bright in his pale face. The gold is gone, Xehanort’s mark on Vanitas is _gone._ Ven presses his thumb to Vanitas’s cheek again, tugging a little at the skin. “Your eyes aren’t gold anymore.”

“You match the Unversed! I always thought that was weird.” Sora leans on Ven’s shoulder, grinning at them both. “They’ve all got those red eyes. Now, it finally makes sense.”

Vanitas blinks and then sits up quickly, pulling his face from Ven’s hand. “I-.”

“Here,” Naminé offers, holding out a little pocket mirror. He takes it and squints at his reflection. His expression doesn’t change, but Ven can feel the tangled knot of emotions that rises: happiness, frustration, loss. Vanitas hands it back and looks down at his hands, flexing them into fists and then open again.

People spread out, moving away to talk and relax now that the hard work is done. It’s growing to be the beautiful morning of another beautiful day on Destiny Islands, expected, but always appreciated.

Ven pulls himself up to sit beside Vanitas on the cot, looking at the soft colors fading to a light blue sky. Vanitas’s fingers carefully intertwine with his and they squeeze at the same time. Their friends are all around them and Vanitas’s chest aches in a way that is new and not all-consuming. He’ll adjust, he always has. Everything feels different and part of him wants to pull Ventus away, to hide from the others and their eyes and their expectations. Another part of him, so much louder than the whisper it used to be, tells him that it’s alright to have these people around, that he can trust them or trust in the judgment of the ones he knows.

Vanitas takes a breath and looks at Ventus. He’s shining under the sun; it dances in the blond of his hair and the blue of his eyes. Ven smiles and everything in Vanitas relaxes. Everything...is alright.

“Vani, can you do something for me?” Ven’s voice is whisper soft, just for the two of them. “Your keyblade, it cracked right in front of me. I need to…” He lifts his free hand, hesitates, and then presses it to Vanitas’s chest, right over his heart. “Please.”

Vanitas scoffs. “You make it sound like it’s work.” He lifts his hand and calls that piece of himself to hand. Void Gear appears and he rests it across their laps. “There.”

Ven pulls his hand from Vanitas with a relieved sigh. He drops it to the keyblade instead. It hums under their hands, glowing brighter, turning silver and gold for a moment, and then settles back to red and black. Ven blinks and then his mouth opens slightly in surprise. “It’s different.”

“Hm?” Vanitas stops watching Ven and looks down at the blade. The chains that crisscross the blade are no longer pitch black; they’re a light grey now. Vanitas’s throat goes tight as he realizes that the biggest difference is that the eyes are gone. _Not the gold of his master’s eyes, but the same slitted blue as the one on his heavy silver keyblade. They were precisely the same, a connection he had been glad for until he realized his master could_ **_always_ ** _be watching him. How else would he know so quickly about Vanitas’s failure?_

They’re gone, not a hint of pale blue left to stare unendingly. In their place, hearts have appeared, half red and half white with a jagged line dividing their colors. They’re not entirely broken, but not whole either.

Vanitas presses his hand over the heart on the guard and then vanishes the blade. His feelings, tangled and knotted and dark, twist inside him. Then, there’s a gentle tug; Ven pulls a bit of them away, just enough that Vanitas can breathe around them.

He swallows and squeezes Ventus’s hand. “Thank you.”

Ven tips his head. “For what?”

“For bringing me home.”

Between them, Vanitas can feel the matched beat of their hearts; their bond as unbreakable as the connection Aqua forged for her friends, as everlasting as the light that flickers on in the depths of the dark.

He closes the distance between them and reforges it.

_Again and again and again._


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really, thank you to everyone who reads this fic. I hope it's brought you some happiness, some bit of brightness to a day. Enjoy a bit more of this little slice of the world!

“Heist complete!” Kairi holds her loot up over her head as she crows their victory. Axel and Xion coming in behind her, laugh.

Roxas looks up from his very important popcorn lesson with Sora. “How many cushions does he  _ have?” _

“Entirely too many. So he definitely won’t miss these for a night.” Axel drops his armful of cushions into a pile in the corner. “Petty revenge is definitely my favorite thing so there’s my night complete.”

Xion rolls her eyes and adds her pillows and cushions to the pile. “Good, because you have to leave.”

“We get reunited in this touching moment and now you guys wanna kick me out for the people you were with all that time. I’m  _ hurt _ .” Axel presses a hand to his chest.

“Sucks for you, Axel,” Kairi says and tosses a pillow at his head. “Get your heart removed and shack up in Sora if you want an invite next time.”

Sora shakes his head as he shows Roxas all the popcorn salt flavors they have. “I’m not saying I’m closing the doors, but can I have a couple months for some clean up? I wasn’t even allowed to help Vanitas.”

Axel comes over to lean on Sora’s head. “Relax, Sora. I’m not losing my heart again anytime soon.”

“Unless a certain someone asks for it,” Kairi singsongs behind him. He turns to grab her and takes another pillow to the face.

“Alright! I’m leaving before this gets any worse. Enjoy your damn slumber party!” Axel waves at them as he makes his exit.

Kairi flops down on the big pile of cushions. “Finally, I’m the only redhead around.”

“Is that a good thing?” Naminé waves Xion over to sit beside her. She’s got a bunch of nail polish bottles around her courtesy of Kairi and Vanitas’s hand in her grip. Intrigued, Xion takes a seat as Kairi explains that it makes her the ultimate force now present.

Vanitas is watching Naminé’s motions with a frown. She adds another stripe of gold over the black that’s already there. His eyes narrow. “Next one should have a green stripe.”

Naminé hums and nods. “Sure, Vanitas.”

Looking over the two fingernails he already has painted, Xion giggles. “Is he being demanding?”

“She asked me to pick.”

“I asked him for practice.” Naminé smiles. “I didn’t realize he’d want to be fancy, but Pence showed me how to do stripes and spots, so we’re doing alright. I figured he’d like red best.”

Vanitas rolls his eyes. “You know, just because I have something on me, doesn’t mean I want it everywhere.”

Xion and Naminé trade a look and then laugh. “Sure, Vanitas. The black is all because you like being contrary even with yourself.” Naminé smiles at him kindly and definitely not teasing. Vanitas makes a face at her and leans on his free hand.

Roxas and popcorn appear and he offers the bowl to Xion. She takes a piece and sniffs it. “It’s regular,” Roxas assures her. “Don’t touch Sora’s if you’re not prepared for weird.”

“I wouldn’t mind weird.” Xion takes a couple more pieces and eats them one at a time. “Are we waiting for anybody else?”

“Ventus,” Vanitas answers immediately. “He’s getting more supplies, snacks.”

“Good,” Sora calls from the pillow pile that he’s burying Kairi in. “I’m starved!”

“You always are,” Roxas shouts back. “Eat your popcorn.”

“It was offered up as a gift!” Sora smacks another pillow onto the stack where only Kairi’s head is sticking out. Her hand appears, popcorn between her fingers. “I have to stay in her good graces without Riku here to protect me.”

Xion grins. “I’ll protect you, Sora.”

“Oh good.” Sora steals the last piece in Kairi’s hand. “Bye! I’m joining the giving side.”

Kairi rolls her eyes and wriggles her way out of the pile. “We’re missing a key ingredient here. We have to play games.”

“Oh no,” Naminé mumbles. She lets Vanitas’s hand go, his fingernails complete. He waves the hand in the air boredly. “This isn’t the one with the bottle, right?”

Sora and Kairi go red. “No,” they deny. 

“I was thinking truth or dare.”

Sora groans. “That’s worse. Don’t we already know enough about each other?”

“Not really. I don’t know Roxas’s deep dark secrets.”

Roxas, shoving popcorn in his mouth, shrugs. Xion shakes her head when Kairi looks at her. “I only know the regular stuff. I don’t know if Roxas has deep dark secrets…”

“Everybody does,” Vanitas grumbles. He glances at Kairi and Sora. 

“Snacks!” Ven saves them all as he arrives, arms full of goods, and Terra behind him. “Guess who baked!”

“Aqua?” Naminé asks kindly. 

Terra coughs to hide a snort and sets the trays in his arms on a nearby table. “Ah, no. I did. Brownies, cookies, and some pretzels for anyone not a fan of sweets...sensible people, really.”

Ven drops his bags onto the table. “Yeah, yeah, all of us with sweet tooths can jump in the river. I don’t hear you complaining when Vanitas helps.”

“Hey!” Vanitas looks up, scowling. “Shut up, Ventus.”

“No.” Ven sticks his tongue out and opens a bag of chips. “Come and make me.”

That earns the both of them a chorus of “eww.” Someone throws a pillow at Ven while they’re at it.

“We’re not suffering your flirting all night. That’s not the point of this party!” Kairi shakes her head. “The point of this party is…”

“Deep dark secrets?”

“Truth or dare?”

Terra holds his hands up. “I don’t like the sound of either of those, so you guys have fun!” He’s out the door before anyone of them can react.

Ven scoops up the chip bag and comes over to join them. “We’re playing truth or dare? I used to play that with Terra and Aqua. They were...competitive with each other. Did you know Aqua can’t stand the feeling of mud between her toes?”

“Fuck shoes,” Vanitas grumbles and steals the chips. “She’s weak.”

“She’ll trounce you.”

“Can we play the game before you two get going?” Roxas rolls his eyes. “I’ll even go first. Give me a dare.”

Sora laughs. “Don’t you want to set rules first? No damaging the castle is a big one.”

Kairi nods. “Aqua would kill us. Okay, no dares that cause structural damage and anybody can pass at any time, truth or dare. Now,  _ Roxas _ .”

Roxas stares at her, waiting, but Kairi turns to Xion. “You pick a dare for him.”

“Okay!” Xion presses her fingers together. “Roxas, I dare you to...tickle Sora.”

Sora jumps to his feet and starts to climb up the bookcase. Howling with laughter, Kairi can’t even manage to go after him. Roxas sighs and looks at Sora already up the bookcase. “Seriously? You’re embarrassing me.”

“Tickling is the devil. Xion, I thought you would protect me!” Sora pulls himself on top of the case and glares down at them.

Xion grins at him. “You won’t die from tickling, Sora.”

“The rest of us might as he flails,” Ven says.

A thought occurs and Kairi’s laughter slows. She straightens up with a grin. “Okay, new game.”

Sora mutters something from the top of the case that sounds distinctly like a swear. He knows that look.

Kairi presses her hands together. “Let’s see what Ven and Vanitas know about  _ Sora _ .”

Vanitas rolls his eyes and Ventus laughs. “It’s not  _ that _ much. We were way down in his heart, so we only saw moments? And mostly while we were sleeping.”

“You’re his girlfriend. Just ask him this stuff.” Vanitas shifts around and starts picking through the nail polish.

“She wants embarrassing stuff, I bet.” Sora sighs from his spot on the bookshelf. “I’m staying up here.”

“Fine, stay up there. Can’t I ask a couple things that I don’t know about?” Kairi reaches to take a couple chips. “I promise it’s not actually that bad.”

Roxas picks up the silver polish and then hands it and his hand to Vanitas. “My turn. Just fucking ask, Kairi. None of us can stop you.”

Naminé and Xion nod, Xion now painting Naminé’s nails a nice pink. Kairi turns to Ven who looks like he’s considering nails over the truths about to be demanded. He sighs and hands her the chip bag. “Okay, okay, what do you want to ask?”

“What happened during the Mark of Mastery exam?” Kairi’s face is set into firm lines now. Riku and Sora have told her a little, but the people deep in Sora’s heart would know even more.

Vanitas doesn’t even flinch. “Sora was asleep so shit got weird. It was like the layers of his heart started overlapping with one another. If you’d still been in there, on the surface of his heart, we would have been able to see and talk to you.” He swipes color onto Roxas’s nail, frowning with concentration more than anything. “It’s how Xehanort was able to get so far. It’s how he got me. The sleep got so thick none of us could stay awake. Last thing I remembered was trying to hold onto the sand.”

Kairi exhales. “Okay, but Riku said that there was this...thing as he was trying to wake Sora up and that was after Xehanort tried to grab him.”

“Oh, that. That was Ventus’s armor and my darkness. I threw it out trying to hang on and it went for the thing it knew best and because I was trying to cling onto protection.” Vanitas shrugs. “Hearts are weird.”

“Agreed,” Xion says with a sigh. “Like Ven said, we mostly saw things as dreams.” She smiles a little. “It took a lot for us to be able to reach out and cause Sora to have a reaction. We were...passengers mostly.”

“Nice ones,” Sora calls from his perch. “I only ever felt like I was getting highjacked when Roxas  _ really _ wanted to break things. Or with Aqua.”

Ven goes a little red. “Can you blame me?”

“Nope. Roxas I do a little.”

Roxas shrugs. “Sometimes, you have to smash some things to feel better.”

They all nod and Kairi tucks a pillow to her front. “Okay, one more question and this one shouldn’t be so...tough.” Now she’s smiling again. “Did you guys ever like fight along with Sora?”

“Once in a while. I did it the most.” Roxas shifts in his spot until Vanitas clamps down on his hand. He winces. “Alright, fuck, Vanitas.”

“You want this to look anything close to nice, don’t fucking move.”

Roxas blows a breath out and stays still. “It was easiest for me, especially when he was thinking about me.”

Sora flushes a little. “It wasn’t right. Of course I was thinking of ways to help you.”

“I didn’t mean it like  _ that _ .” Now Roxas is going red. “Just, yeah, I’m Sora’s Nobody no matter what so it’s easier for me to reach out to him. I don’t know about Ven and Vanitas, but Xion wasn’t really as interested.”

She shrugs. “I’d had enough fighting for a while.”

Ven tugs a little at his lower lip. “I never really fought  _ with _ Sora, but I tried to reach him when it seemed like things were getting to him. Right when your islands fell, things were kind of rough.”

“Before I met Donald and Goofy, Leon was kinda...intense,” Sora clarifies. “It was pretty confusing and lonely.”

“I couldn’t really reach him and Vanitas was uh…”

Vanitas snorts. “Anything I tried when you first got the keyblade could have really messed you up. Introducing you to my flavor of darkness and negativity would have done you no favors.”

“He was trying to protect you,” Ven says with a grin. “You were so young, Sora.”

Sora rolls off the top of the shelf and lands on his feet on the ground. “I was fourteen and you guys were like  _ a year older _ . Don’t give me the Riku attitude.”

“Sora’s always been the youngest.” Kairi holds a hand out to him and wraps her arm around his back when he comes over. “They’re actually like ten years older than us, Sora.”

“Not Vanitas. He’s like...almost exactly my age.”

“I have exactly the same amount of life as Ventus, fuck off.” Vanitas glares at him. “My life didn’t start  _ then _ . I was Ventus.”

Ven pats his head. “Yeah, we’re the same age. Technically...twenty six, twenty seven or something, right?”

Roxas whistles, impressed. “I’m glad I’m only two. You guys are inches from looking like Yen Sid.”

They all burst into laughter, except for Vanitas who rolls his eyes. Ven tosses a pillow at Roxas, narrowly missing Vanitas’s continued nail painting. Vanitas carefully closes the nail polish and sets it aside. Ven, sensing danger, scrambles to his feet, but Vanitas is already after him with two pillows.

“Pillow fight!” Sora shouts and grabs another large pillow. He brings it over his head to slam down on someone and takes another pillow from Naminé right to the chest. The room erupts into flying cushions, laughter, and shouts of violence and revenge.

By the time they stop, chests heaving for breath, Kairi and Vanitas are on top of a pile of pillows. They bump their fists together with matching grins.

The whole room feels lighter and Ventus smiles up at Vanitas from the floor.

* * *

 

It’s probably two in the morning before they fall asleep, but Sora curls up in blankets beside Kairi and knows he’ll sleep well.

Recently however, it’s more of a wish than a truth. He wishes the recent past would let him go.

It’s not a surprise anymore to jerk awake from nightmares with tears on his cheeks. Sora keeps quiet as he gasps, feeling the wet tracks on his face. He tips his head from one side to the other. Kairi is curled up with her face mashed into her pillow; she has an arm across him as if to hold him in place. Sora closes his eyes and sighs before carefully sitting up, leaving her arm at his waist.

“Are you alright?” The voice is soft, harder to distinguish and Sora jumps. He whips his head around and there’s someone sitting up, staring his way. It’s easy to think it’s a shadowed mirror, but Vanitas’s regular scowl isn’t one he really wears.

Sora scrubs at his face and forces a soft laugh. “I’m fine, don’t worry! It’s just a bad dream.”

“A nightmare.” Vanitas’s voice is flat, unsurprised. His eyes practically glow in the soft candle light. It’s better than the gold, but the red can definitely still be unnerving.

Sora shrugs. “Who doesn’t have them, right?”

“I knows yours.”

“What?” Sora looks at him in disbelief. Vanitas is still staring at him. “I m-mean it’s not hard to guess.”

“Sora,” Vanitas interrupts, voice slightly warmer than the flat tone of before. “I know yours.” He blinks, finally, and nods at the girl beside Sora. “Losing either of them, losing just one of them, traveling forever and ever with neither of them at your side.”

“How do you know that?” Sora asks in a whisper. “Ven’s never-.”

“Of course not,” Vanitas scoffs. “He’s  _ light  _ and dreams. Chirithy doesn’t-.” He cuts himself off with a shake of his head. “Never mind. Point is, I’m darkness and was a big part of  _ yours _ for most of your life. I know. Now, come on.” Vanitas pulls himself carefully from the blankets he and Ven were wrapped up in. Sora does the same with Kairi’s arms. 

They pad out of the room, Sora glad for his socks as protection from the cold stones. The Land of Departure is beautiful, but it feels empty at night. It’s only as the door shuts behind them does he realize that Ven was missing from beside Vanitas. “Where…” The question dies on its way out of his throat. It’s Ven’s home, he could be anywhere and it’s not that strange for him to wander.

Vanitas doesn’t even glance his way. “You’ll see,” he answers the question he assumes Sora was asking. “I’m sure curling back up with the two of them would make you feel better, but.” He shrugs, not finishing his thought.

Sora’s still getting to know Vanitas, but he’s quickly realizing that Roxas and Xion are absolutely right; Vanitas won’t speak if he’s not sure that he knows  _ exactly _ what he’s talking about. “A know-it-all,” Xion had called him specifically as Roxas choked. He’s still reserved with most of them and Sora considers himself pretty lucky to be part of the group that has seen him laugh.

So, really, whatever Vanitas has in mind, Sora trusts him. It won’t stop him from shivering in the cold hall though. He wraps his arms around himself. “How do people live like this?”

Vanitas snorts. “They’re used to it. You’ll notice Ventus still spends most of his time outside.”

“I would miss the ocean so much.” Sora rubs at his arms. “Do you like it?”

“I haven’t been enough places to say for certain.”

Sora rolls his eyes. “I didn’t ask if it’s your favorite. I just want to know if you like it.”

Vanitas is silent for a long moment, only the sound of their footsteps as they turn a corner and climb a set of stairs.

“It’s...fine. Ven’s room is nice since it’s both of ours, but a lot of the castle is...empty and very bright. Aqua’s still balancing things out here and I’ve walked into a couple light spells while I wasn’t paying attention. It’s not as warm and I miss the breeze.” Vanitas’s voice is quiet, but there’s an honesty to it that feels limited to the dim hallway and the middle of the night.

Sora turns the words over. “Well...hopefully, it all gets better or you guys can find some place to visit regularly. You’re always welcome to visit us on the islands.”

Vanitas’s lips twitch up at the corners. “Yeah, I’m sure we are, obnoxious tour guides included. I’m not going to school for you.”

“Aw, come on, it’d be  _ fun _ . Think of the pranks! Ven and Roxas won’t do it because they’re no fun at all.” Sora pouts a little and Vanitas flicks him in the arm. 

“You’ll survive.” He turns and pushes open a door at the top of the stairs. It lets them out onto a small balcony, barely big enough for two. Vanitas lets Sora squeeze out next to him and then shuts the door softly. “Up the ladder,” he says and points.

Sora gives it a little wiggle, but it’s very secure and he scrambles up like he used to climb the trees at home. When his head clears the top and he can see onto the roof, he spots the blankets and then Ven’s head sticking out. Ven blinks at him in obvious surprise. “Sora? How did you know…?”

“Move it or lose it, Sora!” Vanitas calls up and Ven deflates a little.

“Ah.”

With a sheepish smile, Sora pulls himself onto the roof. He walks closer to Ven and takes a seat. “I’m not sure why he brought me here. I was just going back to sleep.”

Ven shakes his head. “I’m so sick of sleeping. I nap for a couple hours and that’s it. What woke you up?”

“Ah noth-.”

“Nightmare,” Vanitas interrupts as he behind them. He tugs at the blankets until Ven lets go of them with a huff.

“So? Kairi’s down there and she could take care of him better than us.”

Vanitas shakes his head and tosses Sora one of the freed blankets. “Yeah, but I wanted to talk to him.”

Sora wraps the blanket around his shoulders. “What about? We kinda had our reintroduction and everything already.”

Vanitas tugs at another blanket. Ven hisses something about how cold he is and then yelps. Vanitas had pressed his cold fingers right on the back of his neck. “That’s part of what we needed to talk about. This is more...for all three of us.”

Sora glances at Ven who shrugs. Apparently a heart connection doesn’t come with a direct line to Vanitas’s thoughts. Sora turns back to his double. “Okay.”

Blanket secured, Vanitas takes Sora’s other side. It’s...strange to be between them again. He’s gotten used to the two of them beside each other. He’s intruding, but Vanitas  _ chose _ his spot. He was close enough to sit beside Ventus instead of wrestling the blankets off. Sora shifts and bites at his lip.

“Sora,” Vanitas says quietly, staring up at the sky. “Thank you.”

He blinks. “For what?”

“For being there for us when we were broken.”

_ Oh. _ “I didn’t really, I mean I was just trying to, I was just  _ born _ .”

Ven shakes his head. “At first, your heart was just kind enough to fill in my missing piece and give Vanitas more to hold onto. When we came to you after our fight, you gave us someplace safe.”

“But I don’t remember it.” He’s done so much without meaning to, why does he deserve praise for this? Sora hunches into his blanket. “I just...happened to be there at the right time.”

“Again and again and again.” Vanitas leans a bit closer, not quite touching him. “You saved Ven. You saved both of us after I tried to destroy us. You saved Kairi’s heart. You saved Riku. You saved your friends and you worked your hardest to fix everything that had been done wrong to them and to people you didn’t even  _ know _ . You didn’t even know Roxas and Xion and what did you do?”

Sora shrugs. “What any decent person would have done.”

Twin sighs echo from either side of him. Ven puts a hand to his shoulder, Vanitas flicks him in the forehead. “Maybe so, but that doesn’t make you less. Sora, I’m not going to sit here and tell you how fantastic and giving your heart is because I’m sure others would be glad to wax goddamn poetic about it. Riku, I’m sure, would gladly never shut up about it.”

Ven nods. “What Vanitas is trying to say, is that we’re so glad to have been touched by your heart, Sora. You saved us even if you weren’t really trying.”

“And...I want to be friends now that we know each other.” Vanitas puts a hand in Sora’s hair. “You’re not too fucking bad for a heart of light or whatever.”

“Guardian of Light.”

“ _ Whatever, _ Ventus.”

Ven blows a raspberry at him and Sora laughs. His eyes feel a bit wet, but he doesn’t draw attention by wiping at them. He’s so lucky to have them. Sora frees his hands and takes Ven’s from his shoulder to squeeze. He offers the other to Vanitas. He takes it after a moment’s hesitation and then squeezes it before Sora can.

“Sora, thank you,” Ven says, holding tight. “We wouldn’t be here without you.”

“You were our second chance,” Vanitas adds.

He squeezes both of their hands and amends his nightmare from earlier. No matter how times people walk away, no matter how many times they’re all pulled apart, he will  _ always _ go after them. And, there will always be hands reaching back out for his.

Sora exhales and looks up at the stars, shoulders pressed together and hands intertwined with two people who might never have made it this far. Ven yawns and puts his head on Sora’s shoulder, eyes also looking up. Vanitas rests their shoulders together and lets Sora hold his hand closer to his chest.

They watch the stars in the safest place they know, beside one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! Chains Unbroken is finished in every way I can make it. 
> 
> If you wanna keep up with me between my postings here on AO3, you can find me on tumblr under the same name or on twitter, link is on my profile!
> 
> Thanks again for reading!


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